legal name in NJ

[allacenj]

What is the name of your state?New Jersey
I just got back from the most horrendous time at NJDMV- would like to ask if I have the legal right to use my married name with my maiden name? Is there a time limit as to when (after the marriage) I choose to use both names? When I married in 1991- in NJ- I tried to hyphenate my name but was told the state couldn't do it because there were "not enough spaces"- so I changed my driver's license to my married name only but not my social security card- I have a real estate broker's license in my maiden name, a thriving business that is associated with my maiden name, signs, cards, etc in my maiden name- since I received pay in my maiden name, when I filed IRS, I filed as both married and maiden- but not hyphenated- now I cannot renew my driver's license because I was told by the state my driver's didn't match my SS- so I changed my SS to a hyphenated maiden-married name-took new SS card, birth certificate, marriage license (with a raised seal)-credit card bills, utility bills, my state voter registration card, my old driver's license (w/photo) and they still won't give me a driver's license- they said I had to have changed it when I married and I can't change it now- with no license I can't work- am I trying to do something I can't do? What should I do? Thanks