Live in Girlfriend with Kids

[Mangani]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

First of all, I am not asking for relationship advice. I know I am in a terrible relationship.

Can I sue my live-in girlfriend and her ex for child support? Her and her son have been living with me for three years. I have been telling her to put his father on child support, and/or get a job. I support her and her son, as well as two children we have together. Her son was with his dad for about three months last year and he claimed him on his taxes when I should have as head of household. He does not send money, and she moves very slow in getting him on child support.

I don't want to support her and her son, but if we break up she will probably get custody and move away. I work very hard, and she would argue I don't have time to take care of the kids on my own... and then she would probably get child support from ME!

She keeps saying "he's part of the package", but when I met her she claimed to be working for a US Attorney as an intern, and she also claimed to be in law school. I thought I was with someone who could potentially get a good job, as I am a professional and am successful in my career. I found out two years later that she doesn't have so much as a GED, and never even completed the 9th grade.

She has had one job since we moved in together, and she kept it for about 2 months before leaving. Even so, it costed me more to have her at work than to be at home with the kids. I really need to know if I can sue her even if she still lives with me, and the biological father as well. WHAT CAN I DO???

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

First of all, I am not asking for relationship advice. I know I am in a terrible relationship.

Can I sue my live-in girlfriend and her ex for child support? Her and her son have been living with me for three years. I have been telling her to put his father on child support, and/or get a job. I support her and her son, as well as two children we have together. Her son was with his dad for about three months last year and he claimed him on his taxes when I should have as head of household. He does not send money, and she moves very slow in getting him on child support.

I don't want to support her and her son, but if we break up she will probably get custody and move away. I work very hard, and she would argue I don't have time to take care of the kids on my own... and then she would probably get child support from ME!

She keeps saying "he's part of the package", but when I met her she claimed to be working for a US Attorney as an intern, and she also claimed to be in law school. I thought I was with someone who could potentially get a good job, as I am a professional and am successful in my career. I found out two years later that she doesn't have so much as a GED, and never even completed the 9th grade.

She has had one job since we moved in together, and she kept it for about 2 months before leaving. Even so, it costed me more to have her at work than to be at home with the kids. I really need to know if I can sue her even if she still lives with me, and the biological father as well. WHAT CAN I DO???

You can't sue for that you knew what you were getting into. In fact if she leaves be ready to pay for your other two.

Life decisions...

 

[Mangani]

You can't sue for that you knew what you were getting into. In fact if she leaves be ready to pay for your other two.

Life decisions...

FYI- I'm not a complete idiot nor am I completely ignorant in law, so simplistic answers like "you can't do this" without an explanation, reason, or legal foundation are insulting. Furthermore, if you read my post you will see clearly I have recognized that if we break up and she gets custody I will likely have to pay child support. That is IF she gets custody...

 

[ecmst12]

1. You should not be filing as head of household, you are not married and need to be filing as SINGLE. In which case you could never claim someone else's child.

2. You need to go to court NOW and get paternity of YOUR two children legally established before you break up. Until that is done, you have no inherent rights and she has sole custody and could move away if you WERE to break up, and there would be little you could do to stop her.

3. If you do break up, you could file for custody. You could also file for child support but if you make much more then she does, you probably won't get it and you might even have to pay some to her even if you DO get primary physical custody.

4. Under no circumstances could you EVER EVER EVER get anything from your girlfriend's ex for HIS child. That's between your gf and him, you have nothing to do with it.

 

[Mangani]

1. You should not be filing as head of household, you are not married and need to be filing as SINGLE. In which case you could never claim someone else's child.

2. You need to go to court NOW and get paternity of YOUR two children legally established before you break up. Until that is done, you have no inherent rights and she has sole custody and could move away if you WERE to break up, and there would be little you could do to stop her.

3. If you do break up, you could file for custody. You could also file for child support but if you make much more then she does, you probably won't get it and you might even have to pay some to her even if you DO get primary physical custody.

4. Under no circumstances could you EVER EVER EVER get anything from your girlfriend's ex for HIS child. That's between your gf and him, you have nothing to do with it.

ecmst12, I appreciate your answer, but don't know how much weight to give it given that your are wrong right off the bat on #1. Please read the simple explanation on the IRS website regarding claiming as Head of Household (Head of Household IS mostly for single people). I have been audited, have spoken to several IRS agents in the past three years, and none have questioned my filing as Head of Household and claiming both my girlfriend and her son as dependents. That is, actually, what I'm SUPPOSED to do given my current living arrangements.

Also, I know I said "sue for child support", but there has to be some way to reconcile the fact that I am the only person supporting this child with two dead beat parents.

 

[Mangani]

I was not insulting you. You are way out of line to even think you can ask for money from this man - especially when you knew she had a child.

Here she goes and lies to you about everything important in life and you still go on and have 2 kids with her. I am certainly not going to call you a moron, but man what were you thinking!!!

Now if you think that was an insult.. Well maybe

That's not a legal opinion now, is it? I may just be a moron when it comes to not really being worried about money at the time. I do get paid too much, and sometimes I let my lower brain make important decisions. I am man enough to admit that, but I am also man enough to care for my children. Now, please, some legal advice. I don't need "opinions" from people with less education than myself.

 

[justalayman]

WHAT CAN I DO???

you can either allow the GF to live with you, or not. You can sue for custody, or not.

One thing you cannot do is sue your GF or her ex for money to support their child. You have no legal obligation to support her child and if you do so, it is out of the kindness of your heart.

 

[ecmst12]

Stop supporting the child and the deadbeat mother. That's your option.

 

[Ohiogal]

That's not a legal opinion now, is it? I may just be a moron when it comes to not really being worried about money at the time. I do get paid too much, and sometimes I let my lower brain make important decisions. I am man enough to admit that, but I am also man enough to care for my children. Now, please, some legal advice. I don't need "opinions" from people with less education than myself.

I can guarantee that I have more education than you do. Roll your eyes but you took her word that she was in law school and worked for an US attorney even though she only worked two months since you have been together? And you had two children with her? Now you want to sue her for supporting her child?

You don't have a contract stating that she will pay you back for the support you are providing NOR do you have legal standing for custody. If you don't like the situation YOU BREAK UP WITH HER. Be prepared that if you do break up you will have to legally go through the steps of evicting her IF she is NOT listed on the title to the property where you reside. If she is on the title to the property, you can't do anything to get her out except file a partition suit.

 

[FarmerJ]

Another topic for you to discuss with a atty or atleast to search out via fathers rights groups online is 50/50 custody where the two children the two of you did have together literally change housholds once a week , it isnt as big of a deal as most think , my sis and her ex did it for more than ten years. what will have to happen is that you should have a parenting plan of some sort written out to show what you would be doing if you are able to get 50/50 custody and how you would manage time when the children would be with you. , Why would you consider this , because its a option worth exploring , since she would have to be able to provide support during the days you would not have them. what this also does is make it easier for you to gain 100% custody of the two should something extreme change where she is not able to parent /house / support the children it will make the transition easier with 50/50 . BUT this is all something to discuss with a atty.

 

[Mangani]

Another topic for you to discuss with a atty or atleast to search out via fathers rights groups online is 50/50 custody where the two children the two of you did have together literally change housholds once a week , it isnt as big of a deal as most think , my sis and her ex did it for more than ten years. what will have to happen is that you should have a parenting plan of some sort written out to show what you would be doing if you are able to get 50/50 custody and how you would manage time when the children would be with you. , Why would you consider this , because its a option worth exploring , since she would have to be able to provide support during the days you would not have them. what this also does is make it easier for you to gain 100% custody of the two should something extreme change where she is not able to parent /house / support the children it will make the transition easier with 50/50 . BUT this is all something to discuss with a atty.

Thank you!

 

[Mangani]

Stop supporting the child and the deadbeat mother. That's your option.

I know...

 

[Mangani]

well, after reading your responses to the responses, the first thing that comes to mind is for you to shoot yourself. That would remedy all of your problems.

Yeah... thought about it, then thought about who the heck would be caring for my children

One thing you cannot do is sue your GF or her ex for money to support their child. You have no legal obligation to support her child and if you do so, it is out of the kindness of your heart.

CPS disagrees with you... I guess I shouldn't expect any quality advice for free...

 

[Mangani]

Deleting the fact that I was agreeing that you are a moron doesn't change anything.

How did you have two children with her and not realize that she was lying about being in law school and working for a US attorney when she only worked, according to you two months? And what I said about the eviction was also true. If she is on the title of the property where you reside, you don't get to evict her. If she is not on title, it may be possible for you to evict her. MAY BE POSSIBLE.

I still agree that you are a moron however. You also need to show a bit of respect to those who were attempting to answer your moronic self.

How could I delete anything???

 

[Just Blue]

Another topic for you to discuss with a atty or atleast to search out via fathers rights groups online is 50/50 custody where the two children the two of you did have together literally change housholds once a week , it isnt as big of a deal as most think , my sis and her ex did it for more than ten years. what will have to happen is that you should have a parenting plan of some sort written out to show what you would be doing if you are able to get 50/50 custody and how you would manage time when the children would be with you. , Why would you consider this , because its a option worth exploring , since she would have to be able to provide support during the days you would not have them. what this also does is make it easier for you to gain 100% custody of the two should something extreme change where she is not able to parent /house / support the children it will make the transition easier with 50/50 . BUT this is all something to discuss with a atty.

And how will Dad get 50/50? Mom is the primary care giver to these children and will continue to be so. Status Quo.