making him leave

I have discovered my husband has been seeing someone else for the past 2 months. We discussed this about a month ago and he initially said he wanted to repair our relationship and that all contact with her would stop. I've found that it hasn't and have found he's lied about going out with friends and slept at her house. I've tried to talk to him about it and explain what it is doing to our family (we have 2 boys). He either gets sarcastic or tells me to do what I have to do.

Are there difference consequences/options if I tell him to leave or if he leaves us? I have a consult scheduled for the end of the month but don't know how much longer I can take the lies/deceit.
He feels he shouldn't be the one to leave, but financially, there's no way I can leave with 2 kids and our pets. I'd like to be able to tell him that I've had enough and if he can't make a choice between staying and her then to just leave, but I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face (legally).

HELP!

NOW do you see what BAD choices women make in their Lifes?

To have kids and no ability to support them, so now you have to suffer.

You should have never had kids you couldnt pay for by yourself.

You might as well give them up for adoption, at least they will have a stable home.

PS...it might shock the old boy to straighten up his life if he knew you were serious about this.

[nailtech]

I do believe rrenter is back at it... or what ever that smart@$$'s name was..... Please don’t take the advice to heart,..... its just another joker who's having fun at someone else's expense...

You are out of your frigging mind! I have ALWAYS had the ability to take care of my kids by myself! When I said financially, it was that there are a lot of bills. NOT that I don't have an income. Why the hell should we have to leave the house just because he screwed up? It's a lot easier for everyone if he just goes.

Where do you get off telling someone they shouldn't have had kids or to give them up for adoption when you don't even come close to having all the facts? What nerve! Do us all a favor (whoever wrote the first message)...don't reply. Whatever you have to say isn't worth reading.

Oh boo hoo hoo **************...

Now do you see why divorces cost a TON OF MONEY..


You want HIM to leave But YOU wont leave.

Plan on high legal bills for this STUPID argument!

I totally agree with unhappily wed, why should she move her kids and herself out of their HOME when her husband is the one that screwed around and broke his marriage vows. He should leave and she should be able to stay in the house so that those children, however old, aren't bounced around because their father couldn't keep his thing in his pants.

[miaguy]

Does he hit you? That's the only way you can make him leave, getting a restrainning order. Ignore me if you choose to, I am just curious.

[nailtech]

Please Ignore this person DANKK... there just someone who got kicked off the forum once before for pulling this same stuff and came back as another name....

they have no brain...... dont fuel his/her fire....

Unfortunately, I don't believe that there is a way in which to have him removed unless there are charges that you can bring against him in order to retain an order of protection. I am sorry for your loss, but take it from someone who knows, he isn't going to change and keep your appointment. I would suggest that if he contests this divorce or if you are using infidelity for your divorce, which I assume you are. That you gather some evidence as to his infidelity and it can't be just from you or hear say evidence. If he doesn't contest it, it won't need to be used. However, please don't use your attorney visit as a ploy for him to straighten up, it won't work for long you know. I am not saying that that is what you are doing, I just know women who have done that. If you truly want to stay with him and work it out just tell him that he must go to marriage counseling with you. If he won't even do that for the sake of your marriage then what is the point of dragging it out. I am sure that your attorney can help you with any legalities. I wish you the best

In answer to one of the questions, no, he hasn't struck me. The abuse I have suffered has been in the form of emotional and mental. I do have physical evidence (a letter from his girlfriend) and have read e-mails from her (and one from him). This was in an account that wasn't stipulated "his" or "mine", so there's no ownership issues there. Unfortunately, he changed the password and I haven't got a clue what it is now so I can't go back and print everything. I didn't have enough time to print it last time, so I'm hoping the lawyers can subpoena his notes as proof. There are also several friends who have supported his lies and know what is going on. He has admitted to it to me and to them. So, if need be, I can get them into court as well.

I'm not using the consult as a ploy. No way. I want to know what my options are both in the divorce arena as well as for custody of my 2 year old. The 16 year old is from a different relationship (though we've both referred to him as "ours") and has stated quite firmly that he'll live with his grandparents in another state before living with my husband without me.

Thanks to everyone who has given support and advice (honest and usable advice). As you know, things will only get worse and the hurt will live on for a while, however, I have to think of my kids and myself now. He seems to have made his choice and now must live with it. I can honestly say I never saw this coming and never would have thought him capable of this type of betrayal. Thanks again.