Marriage Ceremony Legality

[hlwood]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

Hello, I have a question that I'm having a hard time getting an answer to. I'm getting married next year in South Carolina, and I have a question about the legality of the ceremony. One of my family members is a reverend but not an ordained minister, so he cannot legally marry us. However, we want him to do the "ceremony," in that we want him to do all the speaking, vows, exchange of rings, etc. We know that he cannot legally declare us husband and wife, but we want to keep this a family affair, so we would really like for him to do the ceremony.

My aunt, however, is a notary public, which can perform marriages legally in SC. After the "fake ceremony," we wanted to go back with her and our witnesses and make it all official. I'm assuming we would have to do a mini-ceremony with her as well. Just as background, she isn't really a public speaker and is not comfortable actually performing the ceremony in front of our guests.

My question is, is this legal? I've called around to several different courts, and no one will give me an answer. All they are able to tell me is WHO can marry us; not HOW they can marry us. I'm sure that other people have had this same type issue arise, but I haven't been able to find anything online.

IF this is legal, is there anything that we should avoid (particular language or sections of the traditional marriage ceremony)? I want to be able to tell my reverend family member so that everyone is comfortable with the process, and we can ensure that this is all legal.

Thanks in advance.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

Hello, I have a question that I'm having a hard time getting an answer to. I'm getting married next year in South Carolina, and I have a question about the legality of the ceremony. One of my family members is a reverend but not an ordained minister, so he cannot legally marry us. However, we want him to do the "ceremony," in that we want him to do all the speaking, vows, exchange of rings, etc. We know that he cannot legally declare us husband and wife, but we want to keep this a family affair, so we would really like for him to do the ceremony.

My aunt, however, is a notary public, which can perform marriages legally in SC. After the "fake ceremony," we wanted to go back with her and our witnesses and make it all official. I'm assuming we would have to do a mini-ceremony with her as well. Just as background, she isn't really a public speaker and is not comfortable actually performing the ceremony in front of our guests.

My question is, is this legal? I've called around to several different courts, and no one will give me an answer. All they are able to tell me is WHO can marry us; not HOW they can marry us. I'm sure that other people have had this same type issue arise, but I haven't been able to find anything online.

IF this is legal, is there anything that we should avoid (particular language or sections of the traditional marriage ceremony)? I want to be able to tell my reverend family member so that everyone is comfortable with the process, and we can ensure that this is all legal.

Thanks in advance.

Have Auntie perform the legal part of it, then hold the celebratory part.

 

[hlwood]

Have Auntie perform the legal part of it, then hold the celebratory part.

Thanks so much! During the fake ceremony afterwards, can my family member still say the whole wedding mumbo-jumbo? I obviously wouldn't have him say "I now pronounce you man and wife," but other than that, is he still good to do exchange of vows and rings?

 

[Zigner]

Thanks so much! During the fake ceremony afterwards, can my family member still say the whole wedding mumbo-jumbo? I obviously wouldn't have him say "I now pronounce you man and wife," but other than that, is he still good to do exchange of vows and rings?

Whatever you do after you're married doesn't matter in the slightest. There is no reason your reverened-but-not-ordained family member can't pronounce you "man and wife", particularly if you're already married..

 

[FlyingRon]

I see that there's no reason they can't do the mumbo jumbo before the real ceremony....or they could even sit in on the other ceremony. As long as you don't conduct any conduct reserved for married people in the gap. Even with a recognized minister, the marriage license needs to be signed by the various parties and returned (frequently just after the regular ceremony). The marriage license needs to be solemnized by someone authorized to do so. Actually, the wording of the SC statute seems to be completely and unequivocably unconstitutional.

There appears to be large amounts of variability as to what the SC clerks will take as proof that you are a "minister of the gospel."

 

[Zigner]

I see that there's no reason they can't do the mumbo jumbo before the real ceremony. The marriage license needs to be solemnized by someone authorized to do so. Actually, the wording of the SC statute seems to be completely and unequivocably unconstitutional.

The only problem I could see is if the ceremony is performed before the legal marriage and then the legal marriage doesn't actually happen. Admittedly, I haven't read the SC statute(s) on the matter, so it may not really be a concern...

 

[hlwood]

I see that there's no reason they can't do the mumbo jumbo before the real ceremony....or they could even sit in on the other ceremony. As long as you don't conduct any conduct reserved for married people in the gap. Even with a recognized minister, the marriage license needs to be signed by the various parties and returned (frequently just after the regular ceremony). The marriage license needs to be solemnized by someone authorized to do so. Actually, the wording of the SC statute seems to be completely and unequivocably unconstitutional.

There appears to be large amounts of variability as to what the SC clerks will take as proof that you are a "minister of the gospel."

So you mean that we wouldn't have to have two separate ceremonies? By my aunt sitting in on the big ceremony, that would be enough (as long as she signs and returns the marriage license)?

And you'll have to excuse my lack of knowledge, but what would be an example of conduct reserved for married people?

 

[Zigner]

So you mean that we wouldn't have to have two separate ceremonies? By my aunt sitting in on the big ceremony, that would be enough (as long as she signs and returns the marriage license)?

And you'll have to excuse my lack of knowledge, but what would be an example of conduct reserved for married people?

Just have your aunt do a small service at her office/house/whatever before the full ceremony. She'll know the requirements for witnesses and the like. Then, you can do a full ceremony for everyone at your leisure. The "officiant" at that ceremony can say anything he or she would like, since you're already married. Haven't you ever heard of people renewing their vows? Same thing, more or less.

 

[TimStudiesLaw]

Have your reverend family member become a notary.

 

[FlyingRon]

Have your reverend family member become a notary.

Would be easier to just convince the local court to convince him he is a minister of the Gospel. At most it just takes a letter from the church he is affiliated with. Some clerks don't even require that. There is specifically no requirement that they be residents or members of a SC church.

 

[Zigner]

Would be easier to just convince the local court to convince him he is a minister of the Gospel. At most it just takes a letter from the church he is affiliated with. Some clerks don't even require that. There is specifically no requirement that they be residents or members of a SC church.

Would be easiest to just have the notary relative do a quickie service the day before the main event.