Marriage Laws

[OSNNG2L]

What is the name of your state? California/Minnesota
I have been trying to do some legal research but I am getting very confused on some of the stuff that I have read. Ok here is the scenerio...I am a 16 female from California and am truly in love with a man I have met who is 23 and lives in Minnesota. I don't want to be at home any more cause my parents are trying to run my life and tell me what to do as I am becoming old enough and mature enough to handle my own life. I want to leave home to go and be with this guy...Him and I have not done anything sexual with each other because of the age difference and all, but I know that I want to be with him and if possible marry him ASAP. He is ok with it if it is permissable. So, the question I arise to...Is that I would like to get a legal emancipation done here in California so I can go and be with him and not have to put up with what is happening around my house and with my parents. But, after reading some of the stuff I have found in relation to legal issues in such cases as these is that I can become legally emancipated anywhere after the age of 14 being that if the age is 14 or 15 it would require parental consent as being 16-17 it can be possible if showing reasonable cause of supporting one's self without the help of the parental units. As for the marriage laws it can be done at the age of 16 in California but in Minnesota it is 18...Then in relation to the two that if becoming married it will grant reasonable cause for emancipation as long as there is reasonable proof for self support.
So, if I could get some information from someone who truly knows enough in this area I would greatly appreciate it on how I should go to make this happen. Please help me as this is a serious matter to me. So the questions I guess I have are:

1.) How can I go about getting married at the age 16 to someone of the age of 23 who resides in another state ASAP without needing the parental consent. Is there any way to make such happen???

2.) After doing so what legal fallbacks can arise from such happening? (if any???)

3.) What are the steps that I would need to take to get the process started without delay?

---So, if there is anyone who can help me in such a matter and has any legal history, background, or knowledge in this area, then I would appreciate any help I could get in the matter. I thank you for your time, consideration, and any help that will be provided.

 

[nextwife]

First question: Is he from CA? How do you know each other if he lives in the Midwest?

SEcond: How could YOU support yourself sufficiently at age 16 with the limited employement options open to you? Have you researched the costs of rent vs. your potential income? You cannot legally enter into a lease to rent an apartment, for example. What about transportation? I live in WI, next to MN, and one really MUST have a car. You want to be standing at a bustop at 20 below zero? With a baby, maybe? And insurance for the vehicle? How will you also afford that on your minimum wage job? Utilities, food, health insurance? Disability insurance in case you can't work? Food is a good thing. You may want to buy food. Clothes, shoes, toiletries. I have not even touched on health insurance and health care costs. And the additional cost if you end up with a baby tocare for. So, how do you presume you can cover all these costs on a forever minimum wage job? If you drop out of school, you certainly won't be able to get a higher end job.

Third" Didn't you already pose this question?

Don't go into a relationship presuming you will not NEED the capability to totally provide for yourself. Sure, he's there today, but if he were gone tomorrow (the relationship fails, you hate being controlled and want out, he drops dead or gets hit by a bus) you have no choice but to try to find another guy to take care of you. You need to first be able to take care of yourself. When you can do that, and knoww how, THEN you can puruse getting into a relationship. If he really loves you, he will encourage you to complete your education and become self sufficient FIRST so that you have something to fall back on if anything ever happens to him. If he wants you to come out there at 16 and leave school, (and this isn't your idea), he is a scum bag, a potential statutory rapist, and a control freak.

Which kind of man do you want to be with? A responsible guy who wants you to "be all that you can be" or an adult who looks for children to date?

 

[OSNNG2L]

***Down below each of your questions is that of which you will find the answers to in which you request as I hope that it will help shed the light on what I see, how I feel, and why I ask what I ask. To some people they may find my answers reasonable as others will see my reasons as dumb. They are all your opinions to what you think, but in response I would hope that my questions will eventually be answered. Cause no matter what you think...I know what I know and for that I know he is who I want and if things are right then he wants me the same. So here goes nothing:***

First question: Is he from CA? How do you know each other if he lives in the Midwest?

***No, he is not from California...He is from Minnesota. I have known him for over a year now. We have talked alot on the phone. I have verified all his information as to make sure he is who he says he is. His name, address, phone number, looks, former work place, where intends to go to college, who his family is and much more. It is all legitimate and poses no threat. I love him more than anything. He is unbelievably like a dream come true. We have never done anything sexually and don't plan to be sexual until after I am at least 18 and after he gets his job of a police officer after graduating college. YES I said Police Officer as for that is what he wants to be and he is nervous about this all, but also being smart on what to avoid until after I am completely legal. I am just sick of being treated the way I have been treated around my house. I have been disrespected by my mother more than anything. She doesn't think very highly of me what so ever. That is why. He has been true to me in every way possible and has shown me no disrespect or intent to harm. He has no sexual intentions what so ever. So please think about what you say before you judge some people out there in this world like him. He is a damn good man that I am proud to know as I would hope to never let him down. But, anyways on with the answers to your questions...***

SEcond: How could YOU support yourself sufficiently at age 16 with the limited employement options open to you? Have you researched the costs of rent vs. your potential income? You cannot legally enter into a lease to rent an apartment, for example. What about transportation? I live in WI, next to MN, and one really MUST have a car. You want to be standing at a bustop at 20 below zero? With a baby, maybe? And insurance for the vehicle? How will you also afford that on your minimum wage job? Utilities, food, health insurance? Disability insurance in case you can't work? Food is a good thing. You may want to buy food. Clothes, shoes, toiletries. I have not even touched on health insurance and health care costs. And the additional cost if you end up with a baby tocare for. So, how do you presume you can cover all these costs on a forever minimum wage job? If you drop out of school, you certainly won't be able to get a higher end job.

***In the state of Minnesota IF I am able to become legally emancipated by the state of California and I were to move there. With the Emancipation Decree which would be issued would allow me to look for suitable employment...I would only need to work part time in which I could do in the evening hours after I finish my schooling there. It would allow me to transfer schools not needing a parents consent when emancipated. It would allow me to work any job in which I wish. We all start out in minimum wage jobs at some point in our lives...I would work it until I finish high school...and then I would go to college afterwards. Its life. At the same time I am going to high school I would be studying along with him getting a heads up in the Law Enforcement field as well so I can join along with him and have something more in common with him. I was always thinking about joining the NAVY myself, but then Law Enforcement would be close enough...Just as long as I am with him and happy. With the Emancipation Decree I could get my own place to live legally without parents consent, but he all ready has a place set up in Minnesota where he plans to go to college at...So I would help him with the rent and bills as you he would split the other half with me. That is part of being in a relationship is the fact of working together. I would have to make do without the Medical insurance if need be until after I am 18 and marry him one day or get medical insurance through my job if applicable. We will have a vehicle for transportation which is not a problem. We will not have a baby until down the road...We all ready discussed it and we are not even going to have sex until after I am 18 which will be decided before or after marriage when it comes close enough to me being 18...My guess is that it would be after marriage...***


Third" Didn't you already pose this question?

***No I have never posed this question as to being on here, but I have posed this question in my own head and with him but I keep coming across the same answer which is to get out of here and go be with him...That is all I truly want. That is the help I need from you people out here is to help step me in the right direction on how to get started so I can do this...Cause the information I have been finding is not much. I pretty much see no option other than parental consent which is obviously going to be impossible to do...So if there is any way around it, then I would really like to know please...???***

Don't go into a relationship presuming you will not NEED the capability to totally provide for yourself. Sure, he's there today, but if he were gone tomorrow (the relationship fails, you hate being controlled and want out, he drops dead or gets hit by a bus) you have no choice but to try to find another guy to take care of you. You need to first be able to take care of yourself. When you can do that, and knoww how, THEN you can puruse getting into a relationship. If he really loves you, he will encourage you to complete your education and become self sufficient FIRST so that you have something to fall back on if anything ever happens to him. If he wants you to come out there at 16 and leave school, (and this isn't your idea), he is a scum bag, a potential statutory rapist, and a control freak.

***No real comment on this section because you don't even know the guy as like I do...He is more than sensitive to my needs...he is loving, understanding, compassionate, easy going, great listener, helpful, supportive, and more...This is my decision...NOT HIS...But, he does support me in what ever I choose without a doubt as he will be there in any way that he can for me. That is why I think he would make a GREAT police officer one day when he finishes his college. So he has no hand in the making of my choices...This is just how I feel about him...***

Which kind of man do you want to be with? A responsible guy who wants you to "be all that you can be" or an adult who looks for children to date?

***And for this last portion...He is 10 times more responsible than any guy that I have ever met or know around this godforsaken town and state. I love him with all of my heart as I know and believe so truly and deeply in my heart that things will last forever without a doubt in my mind and heart. So YES I want the responsible man for who he was, who he wants to be, and who he all ready is as for the RAPIST you claim he is BUT IS NOT!!!***

---Any further help from you or anyone else would be most appreciated on how to get the ball rolling. I again thank you and everyone else who responds to my plea for a little help in this area as I am not all to familiar with such laws...Thank you.

 

[cbg]

I'm going to answer your questions literally.

1.) You can't. If your state requires parental consent at age 16, then you are stuck with needing parental consent. Nor am I aware of any state that will permit a non-resident minor to be married in that state for the purpose of avoiding the parental consent laws.

2.) Your friend could be charged with any of several crimes depending on the exact circumstances, kidnapping among them.

3.) Wait until you are 18.

 

[stealth2]

Emancipation requires that you be able to completely support yourself w/o anyone else's help. Do you honestly believe you can afford an apartment, utilities, transportation, food, etc on a part-time, min wage job? 'Cause you're going to have to show a court how you're going to do that - w/o moving in with your friend. And not just a plan, but that you're actually in a position to do so already - i.e. you're making enough money to pay for all that yourself NOW.

My question,however, is this - how much time have you actually spent IN PERSON with this guy?

 

[OSNNG2L]

Emancipation requires that you be able to completely support yourself w/o anyone else's help. Do you honestly believe you can afford an apartment, utilities, transportation, food, etc on a part-time, min wage job? 'Cause you're going to have to show a court how you're going to do that - w/o moving in with your friend. And not just a plan, but that you're actually in a position to do so already - i.e. you're making enough money to pay for all that yourself NOW.

My question,however, is this - how much time have you actually spent IN PERSON with this guy?

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I can see your point in ways about being able to support oneself as in the order of being emancipated as it is a requirement to become emancipated, but then in the laws that I have reviewed it does not give the option that the one being emancipated can't split costs with someone or live with someone of close and relative nature to be deemed eligible for emancipation even if that one to live with would be considered a boyfriend/fiance.

I mean I don't see why that option couldn't be addressed in court if a petition for an emancipation is submitted and looked at as a possible option if the court allows upon agreement from the guy I know and want to be with in Minnesota...He could act as a temporary guardian so to say that even after I turn the age of 18 that there would be no further strings attatched as in relative nature as being such as a legal guardian which would leave option to then getting married at a later date in that point...

As far as meeting him...We talked for hours on end on the phone and used e-mail and instant message capabilities for other lines of communication. As far as meeting him in general...It was 3 times being on the fact of distance being a factor to not being able to see each other more often. But I do know him on a personal level and know everything there is to need to know about him. We have it all set on how we would survive and keep the income going, but now its just a matter of getting emancipated to have that ability to go and be with him...That is where I am stuck at...Everything will be a breeze...Nobody ever said life was easy, but everyone makes it through it and no matter what kind of relationship you are in they have their flaws and need to be worked out as him and I are trying to work on...The happiness and love is there...Just not the physicality of us two being together is the only flaw interfering right now.

Any other advice or questions that I can answer???

 

[stealth2]

ROFLMAO girl. Do you HONESTLY believe a judge will grant any sort of guardianship to some guy you've met in person three times and know from the Internet?

Apart from that little glitch, a judge really will not grant emancipation unless you are fully self-supporting. Y'all are dreaming if you think otherwise.

 

[cbg]

Just for the sake of argument, let's say everything is exactly as you planned it. Then the day after you get together, he gets hit by a bus.

THAT'S why you have to be completely self supporting before you can be emancipated. It is NOT going to happen if you cannot and you are deluding yourself to think otherwise.

 

[OSNNG2L]

Just for the sake of argument, let's say everything is exactly as you planned it. Then the day after you get together, he gets hit by a bus.

THAT'S why you have to be completely self supporting before you can be emancipated. It is NOT going to happen if you cannot and you are deluding yourself to think otherwise.

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Whether young or old everything takes time...Whats the difference if I were older and he still got hit by a bus...Being emancipated under 18 has pretty much a lot of the same rights as being 18 with few exceptions...But either way then or now I would still have to look for a job and all...I believe that either way I can do it...I don't really see no difference personally if I have the same rights as that of an 18 as far as having a place to rent on my own, or owning a car, or having insurance, or working a job, etc...etc...etc...??? You make it sound like being emancipated doesn't give you them rights....???? According to what I read, it does...

 

[stealth2]

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Whether young or old everything takes time...Whats the difference if I were older and he still got hit by a bus...Being emancipated under 18 has pretty much a lot of the same rights as being 18 with few exceptions...But either way then or now I would still have to look for a job and all...I believe that either way I can do it...I don't really see no difference personally if I have the same rights as that of an 18 as far as having a place to rent on my own, or owning a car, or having insurance, or working a job, etc...etc...etc...??? You make it sound like being emancipated doesn't give you them rights....???? According to what I read, it does...

The difference is what the law requires you to prove when you're 16 and want to be an adult.

 

[nextwife]

For pete's sake, girl! Do you, and he, have no higher aspirations for yourself than to need to live off of someone else the remainder of your life? That's what you want? To have no further education, either technical or otherwise? REGARDLESS of whether he really is who he portrays himself to be, what if he isn't around to take care of YOU? What if he were very ill and couldn't work and you needed to take care of him? And maybe him AND a kid or two? How would you do that if you stop school now, even if it WERE legal?

Were you timewarped here from a half century ago? Woman need to also be able to take care of themselves, you know. We generally outlive our spouses, if we haven't divorced them first, you know.

 

[cbg]

Whether you like it or not, whether you understand the reasons for it or not, the fact remains that unless you, yourself, with no help from ANYONE, can financially support yourself entirely, you are NOT going to be emancipated. You are also seriously fooling yourself if you think any judge is going to emancipate you so that you can go off and live with someone you met on the internet that you have met in person three times. If you seriously believe that this is going to happen, then you don't have anywhere near enough maturity to make this kind of decision for yourself, and I don't care how much you resent my saying so.

 

[OSNNG2L]

For pete's sake, girl! Do you, and he, have no higher aspirations for yourself than to need to live off of someone else the remainder of your life? That's what you want? To have no further education, either technical or otherwise? REGARDLESS of whether he really is who he portrays himself to be, what if he isn't around to take care of YOU? What if he were very ill and couldn't work and you needed to take care of him? And maybe him AND a kid or two? How would you do that if you stop school now, even if it WERE legal?

Were you timewarped here from a half century ago? Woman need to also be able to take care of themselves, you know. We generally outlive our spouses, if we haven't divorced them first, you know.

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Ok NOT to be rude but let me rephrase or try and re-quote my response from earlier in regards to your question...Ok...IF I get the emancipation I would drop out of school until I get there to Minnesota...Ok??? Then I would rejoin and finish school there in minnesota being that with the emancipation I am legally able then to enroll myself there...After High School I would apply for college which I would most likely get in the same related field as him in Law Enforcment to become a Police Officer...I wouldn't be living off of him because I would help with the support by working a job as well even if it is part time...He would be working a job and going to school as well...OK???

KIDS!!! I said we all ready discussed that isn't for quite some time down the road after I am 18 and get married to him one day. Take care of me? Whats the difference if I was 30 and I he wasn't there to take care of me...Being emancipated or being 30 I would still have the right to Rent my own place, own my own car, work a job, go to school. get my own insurance, or what ever else...pretty much what an 18 year old could do or 30 yr old could do minus the cigarettes and booze which don't matter cause I don't do either anyways...But you catching my drift yet...Or am I the only one who can see what I see here? I just thought maybe someone could truly help me...but then again maybe that is too much to ask...

 

[cbg]

Oh, we see what you're saying. It's just that you're not seeing what we're saying. You aren't going to get the kind of help you want here, because you refuse to accept the fact that unless you can pay for rent, food, insurance, transportation, and all that other good stuff ENTIRELY by yourself THE EMANCIPATION IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. That is a legal prerequisite whether you understand why or not.

You also have completely ignored what I told you about getting married at age 16 without parental consent, AND the fact that he could end up in serious trouble, including jail, if you persist in this attempt.

 

[OSNNG2L]

Oh, we see what you're saying. It's just that you're not seeing what we're saying. You aren't going to get the kind of help you want here, because you refuse to accept the fact that unless you can pay for rent, food, insurance, transportation, and all that other good stuff ENTIRELY by yourself THE EMANCIPATION IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. That is a legal prerequisite whether you understand why or not.

You also have completely ignored what I told you about getting married at age 16 without parental consent, AND the fact that he could end up in serious trouble, including jail, if you persist in this attempt.

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Ok then...understood...I guess we'll leave it at that...Thank you for your help though...