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  #1  
Old 05-30-2007, 12:39 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 5

Married for 9 years - NOT

What is the name of your state? CA

I can't believe this is happening... this only happens to other people.

17 years ago, while my dh was hospitalized for several months, his wife filed for divorce, and brought the final papers to him to sign. The was the last time he saw her.

She never filed them. Using the case number, I called the county where they were filed, and they were purged for non-activity. Then we had someone call and ask her, and she said they are "legally" married.

We found out she is collecting from the VA. His youngest child turned 21 a year ago, and he couldn't figure out why they kept putting her name back in his record when he changed to mine. Now we know. He was fine with her getting money because of the kids, but not now.

This is a very short version, but because of his illness, we are very tight financially. Happy, but broke. The VA says the only way I can start receiving money is if he is divorced from her.

Any suggestions/ideas/ help?What is the name of your state?
  #2  
Old 05-30-2007, 01:00 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 14,002
He got very good advice...He needs to file for divorce.
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #3  
Old 05-30-2007, 01:17 PM
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Posts: 5

He needs to file for divorce

But how do we do that, considering we have limited income, resources, and she will fight it, and has access to all the attorneys she needs.
  #4  
Old 05-30-2007, 01:19 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I love my Honey View Post
But how do we do that, considering we have limited income, resources, and she will fight it, and has access to all the attorneys she needs.
He doesn't need her permission, or her agreement.
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
  #5  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:11 PM
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Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,742
[url]http://www.californiafamilylawblog.com/2007/02/woman_is_asking_california_cou.html[/url]

Putative spouse -- you are one.
File for divorce from him. Ask for 50% of the marital property and spousal support. Do not tell wife number 1. If you and hubby reach a divorce agreement that can be entered. After he finishes the divorce with wife number 1-- half of whatever property is left from your divorce -- then if you two want to remarry you can.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #6  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I love my Honey View Post
But how do we do that, considering we have limited income, resources, and she will fight it, and has access to all the attorneys she needs.
Actually read my post -- YOU need to file for divorce. Think about it.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #7  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
[url]http://www.californiafamilylawblog.com/2007/02/woman_is_asking_california_cou.html[/url]

Putative spouse -- you are one.
File for divorce from him. Ask for 50% of the marital property and spousal support. Do not tell wife number 1. If you and hubby reach a divorce agreement that can be entered. After he finishes the divorce with wife number 1-- half of whatever property is left from your divorce -- then if you two want to remarry you can.
Bahahahahahahaha.....OG...You are brilliant!!!! Screw what mommyor3 says...If I ever move to Ohio I am putting you on retainer!!! I love it!!
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #8  
Old 05-30-2007, 11:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
Bahahahahahahaha.....OG...You are brilliant!!!! Screw what mommyor3 says...If I ever move to Ohio I am putting you on retainer!!! I love it!!
I'm getting it. I think.
  #9  
Old 05-30-2007, 11:51 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 14,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love my Honey View Post
I'm getting it. I think.
******************************************.....Good Luck!!
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #10  
Old 05-31-2007, 01:52 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
******************************************.....Good Luck!!
Okay, here's what is confusing me. The only income he has is disability. We own one (old) car, and it's in my name. So what is the point in divorcing him, since we aren't married?

I can see if we had assets.

Our biggest problem is him divorcing her, and she fights it so she can keep the income from his disability.

I'm going to do more research on putative spouse. Thanks so much for your help and input.
  #11  
Old 05-31-2007, 06:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I love my Honey View Post
Okay, here's what is confusing me. The only income he has is disability. We own one (old) car, and it's in my name. So what is the point in divorcing him, since we aren't married?

I can see if we had assets.

Our biggest problem is him divorcing her, and she fights it so she can keep the income from his disability.

I'm going to do more research on putative spouse. Thanks so much for your help and input.
YOU ARE MARRIED! That is the point. YOu divorce him and take all the property she could fight about. As for she wants his disability? Ummmm.. how does she figure?
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #12  
Old 05-31-2007, 09:26 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: South Cackalacky
Posts: 15,040
OP believes that since he is still married to first wife, that her marriage isn't legal. But, it is. He didn't marry you KNOWING that he was still married.
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My new signature:
Originally Posted by arazi
Quote:
I'll take you on one-to-one in a volcabulary test anywhere, anyplace, anytime.
  #13  
Old 05-31-2007, 09:29 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 14,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love my Honey View Post
Okay, here's what is confusing me. The only income he has is disability. We own one (old) car, and it's in my name. So what is the point in divorcing him, since we aren't married?

I can see if we had assets.

Our biggest problem is him divorcing her, and she fights it so she can keep the income from his disability.

I'm going to do more research on putative spouse. Thanks so much for your help and input.
Listen to OhioGal.....
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #14  
Old 06-01-2007, 01:13 AM
Junior Member
  
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 5
Sadly, the VA isn't recognizing me as his wife, and she is getting monthly income.

I found some cases online about death benefits going to putative spouse, and the first spouse appealed and lost.

Now that you have helped me get the info on putative spouse, it helped me with understanding how to be recognized. I just need some cases that deal with putative spouses and disability benefits, rather than death benefits.

Thanks everyone, you have really helped.
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