Marrying into debt

[TNBelle73]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My boyfriend of 5 years and I are considering getting married. Each of us has had enough prior bad experiences to be over-rational and extremely careful about whether we should.

I'm just now recovering from financial ruin from my first marriage. I have a good job, an average credit score, and am within $200 of being completely out of debt.

My guy has one big, bad debt: student loans. Many, many thousands. We have spent the last year working very hard to get them out of default, which they now are. Still, the amount is more than he could ever reasonably hope to pay in his lifetime. It ain't gonna happen.

My question is - if we marry in Tennessee, and he gets hit by a truck in a month or suddenly decides he's gay and divorces me... am I/could I be in any way held responsible for his loans?

[CourtClerk]

I don't believe you can be held responsible for his student loans but why don't you do yourself a favor and delay the wedding until he can pull himself out of debt (like you did) and can prove he has a pattern of financial responsibility?

[TNBelle73]

Thanks for your reply, CourtClerk.

As I said, we've been together for 5 years - and so far, he's really made a huge effort toward the exit from debt. He's certainly proven to me that he's determined to walk the line on keeping us out of financial misery.

As I said, the student loans are his *only* debt (we don't have a car or house payment or anything) but that particular debt is so old and so huge that it's really quite hopeless that it'll ever be paid in full.

He's paying for it religiously - but he won't ever be able to pay it off. If we get a ridiculously huge windfall of some kind - then sure, we'll eradicate that sucka!! Heh.

We're in no huge hurry to tie the knot; we don't feel we HAVE to make our relationship official except for a few important issues; such as insurance, taxes, and end-of-life decisions.

I just want to know if the student loan debt is anything I need to worry about for my own credit file.

[CourtClerk]

Originally Posted by TNBelle73

Thanks for your reply, CourtClerk.

As I said, we've been together for 5 years - and so far, he's really made a huge effort toward the exit from debt. He's certainly proven to me that he's determined to walk the line on keeping us out of financial misery.

As I said, the student loans are his *only* debt (we don't have a car or house payment or anything) but that particular debt is so old and so huge that it's really quite hopeless that it'll ever be paid in full.

He's paying for it religiously - but he won't ever be able to pay it off. If we get a ridiculously huge windfall of some kind - then sure, we'll eradicate that sucka!! Heh.

We're in no huge hurry to tie the knot; we don't feel we HAVE to make our relationship official except for a few important issues; such as insurance, taxes, and end-of-life decisions.

I just want to know if the student loan debt is anything I need to worry about for my own credit file.

A TN lawyer would probably be your best bet, what what you may want to concern yourself with is what would happen should he find himself unemployed, something happens, etc. Federal Student Loans generally can't be discharged in BK and if for some reason he stops paying, then that could spell problems with you (in maybe having to carry much more of the household financial load, etc.). However, if them coming after you is your only concern... I doubt it.

[TNBelle73]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

what you may want to concern yourself with is what would happen should he find himself unemployed, something happens, etc. Federal Student Loans generally can't be discharged in BK and if for some reason he stops paying, then that could spell problems with you (in maybe having to carry much more of the household financial load, etc.). However, if them coming after you is your only concern... I doubt it.

Thanks again CC. Indeed, that's really my only concern; the potential pitfalls we all face such as unemployment or medical emergencies are things we've thought about as well, but those are possible dangers whether we're married or not, one or the other of us having to take up the slack eventually is almost inevitable. Both of us lived single for a long time - we ain't skeered! Heh.

I do intend to speak with an attorney on the matter, I just wanted to go armed with some insight. I appreciate it!

[LdiJ]

You really are safe...you are not responsible for his student loans. HOWEVER.....that does mean that even if you are married you have to keep your financial lives separate.

You can't own joint property (particularly a house) or have any joint bank accounts, because those can be subject to seizure.

Its also possible that he should consult with a bankruptcy attorney prior to any marriage.

[TNBelle73]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

You really are safe...you are not responsible for his student loans. HOWEVER.....that does mean that even if you are married you have to keep your financial lives separate.

You can't own joint property (particularly a house) or have any joint bank accounts, because those can be subject to seizure.

Its also possible that he should consult with a bankruptcy attorney prior to any marriage.

Wow, really good point, LdiJ. I guess I had marginally thought about that - but not in enough detail. Many thanks. That'll be our bedtime topic of discussion tonight.