Memorial Fund

[sgee]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

4 years ago my brother in law died. At that time my husband and I established a memorial fund for benefit of his daughter. My sister in law verbally agreed at the time and had it printed in the obituary. Now she is trying to get information from our accountant as to how much money is in it. She is even contacting the bank to try and get information. Just found out that the bank sent her a letter. She forwarded it to our accountant. We are having it forwarded to us. The purpose for the fund is to give it to my brother in laws daughter when she turns 18 and comes around to see us or reimburse my mother in law for the funeral expenses. My mother in law had to pay for the funeral expenses because my sister in law said she couldn't afford it. We then found out that she did receive life insurance money. It's my understanding that anyone can open a memorial fund. My husband is the only one on the signature card. What are our rights? Do we have to turn this money over to her?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by sgee

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

4 years ago my brother in law died. At that time my husband and I established a memorial fund for benefit of his daughter. My sister in law verbally agreed at the time and had it printed in the obituary. Now she is trying to get information from our accountant as to how much money is in it. She is even contacting the bank to try and get information. Just found out that the bank sent her a letter. She forwarded it to our accountant. We are having it forwarded to us. The purpose for the fund is to give it to my brother in laws daughter when she turns 18 and comes around to see us or reimburse my mother in law for the funeral expenses. My mother in law had to pay for the funeral expenses because my sister in law said she couldn't afford it. We then found out that she did receive life insurance money. It's my understanding that anyone can open a memorial fund. My husband is the only one on the signature card. What are our rights? Do we have to turn this money over to her?

No, but if it goes to anyone other than the child or used for any other purpose than for something for the child, then you will have committed fraud. You didn't publicize the fund as a fund to reimburse your mother in law for the funeral expenses. You publicized it as a memorial fund for the child.

You also may be committing fraud if you make the child receiving the funds contingent on the child coming around to see you after age 18.

As the child's legal guardian, I believe that mom does have the right to know whats going on with the money. It would be different if your husband had deposited only money he provided into the account, however others deposited money in that account as well.

[Motherto6]

sgee ~ It sounds as though your relationship with your niece's mother is strained to say the least. Perhaps she is just trying to figure out if there is enough money in the account for her daughter to go to college, or if she will have to take out loans, etc.. You never know what someone's motives are, and I would just give her the benefit of the doubt that she has her daughters best interests at heart. I can not imagine how difficult it has been on her trying to raise a child without a father/husband for support. Also, it takes a while for life insurance companies to pay out for policies. She more than likely did not have the money at the time of his death to pay for a funeral. She lost her husband, give her a break. Even if you come back and say it was a rocky marriage, it was still a marriage and needs to be respected for your niece's sake.

[sgee]

Could we donate it to her school?

The money was supposed to be for her and her alone? Why would you want to donate it to her school?

[liquid8or]

Trick questions such as these that have answers other than "go get a lawyer" are not permitted, shellanddty.

BANG

[Motherto6]

Liqui8~ I take it you have heard go get a lawyer too many times?

Oh, by the way, not all tenants suck. We gladly and willingly pay our rent every month and on time AND take great care of the house. We get it for soooo cheap compared to what our mortgage was that we are happy to rent and be responsible.

[brisgirl825]

Originally Posted by sgee

Could we donate it to her school?

Are you thick?
You established a memorial for the child, not the school district. You have already been told that the money must be used for the child.

[liquid8or]

Tenants suck is a general statement and does not apply to everyone.

Yes, this is called free advice. Not good advice, necessarily. People are here to get someone elses take on their problem. Even if it is a stupid problem such as...

I was arrested for DUI and while in lockup, got caught with some crack. What do I do?

Someone will say "better get a lawyer". No S***! I mean, let's get a little creative here. Is get a lawyer good advice? Yes, but put in some effort. Come up with a bonus package.

BANG to the "get a lawyer crew"**************