Mother's Rights VS Son's Rights

[Oldenmar]

What is the name of your state? WI

My father died when I was 12, I am now 19. We had received social security checks for however much a month, every month, until I turned 18. I had never seen a dime, and now my mother wishes to charge me for things that she had bought me (namely my computer and car which I co-payed for) because she feels I have not accomplished enough in life, and wont accomplish anything. I am currently a manager at a restaurant, I'm working on going to night classes for college. I felt I was doing okay.

Back to the point, since I had never seen a dime of what we recieved in social security, if she continues down the path she is currently on about paying her back for everything I had owed her, would I have a case about the social security money that I never saw? Or does she have every right to retain all of the money plus all of the things she co-payed for?

Thanks!

[majomom1]

Originally Posted by Oldenmar

What is the name of your state? WI

My father died when I was 12, I am now 19. We had received social security checks for however much a month, every month, until I turned 18. I had never seen a dime, and now my mother wishes to charge me for things that she had bought me (namely my computer and car which I co-payed for) because she feels I have not accomplished enough in life, and wont accomplish anything. I am currently a manager at a restaurant, I'm working on going to night classes for college. I felt I was doing okay.

Back to the point, since I had never seen a dime of what we recieved in social security, if she continues down the path she is currently on about paying her back for everything I had owed her, would I have a case about the social security money that I never saw? Or does she have every right to retain all of the money plus all of the things she co-payed for?

Thanks!

Which is it? Did she buy these things for you, or did you borrow from her to buy them, with the promise of paying her back?

The social security was to help support you. How much did she receive per month? I would venture to guess that you saw EVERY dime of it, you just don't realize it. If this is how you intend to treat your mom and "get out of" repaying her, then I can clearly understand the point, and lesson, she is trying to get across to you.

You are a manager. That is great! I also commend you for taking college courses to improve your life. Pay your mom what you promised and let it go.

[Oldenmar]

I told her I would pay part and she said she would pay part for the items, which we both did, now she says if I intend to take them, I need to pay it all or she's taking it.

She said we recieved (myself and my little sisters) about 400 dollars a month each, but then said it had gone up. She also makes near 20 dollars an hour. While this souldnt be such a big deal, her insisting that we pay her for everything is getting old and if she wants us to pay prices far higher than they were originally bought for, I decided that im done with her telling myself and my siblings we are all failures, and want to show her a lesson. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom more than anything, especially more since the death of my father, but she has taken many things too far lately...I dont believe that calling my sisters with learning disabilities stupid/retarded and failures constitutes as good motherly behavior...

[majomom1]

Originally Posted by Oldenmar

I told her I would pay part and she said she would pay part for the items, which we both did, now she says if I intend to take them, I need to pay it all or she's taking it.

She said we recieved (myself and my little sisters) about 400 dollars a month each, but then said it had gone up. She also makes near 20 dollars an hour. While this souldnt be such a big deal, her insisting that we pay her for everything is getting old and if she wants us to pay prices far higher than they were originally bought for, I decided that im done with her telling myself and my siblings we are all failures, and want to show her a lesson. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom more than anything, especially more since the death of my father, but she has taken many things too far lately...I dont believe that calling my sisters with learning disabilities stupid/retarded and failures constitutes as good motherly behavior...

No... her $20 an hour is not relevant. And $400 really doesn't go very far when you raising kids. I can see her asking you to 'earn' your own way, but name calling is never appropriate from any one. Sit down and have a heart to heart with her. I won't make excuses for her, but I am sure it has been tough raising 3 kids alone.

You can 'teach' your mom a lesson by 1) be an adult and talk to her about all of it; 2) paying your own way and not asking for her help, or 3) insist on a 'contract' when she contributes (or loans) money for something. If she is not willing, then don't buy it, save your money and buy it on your own.

You are a manager and are taking college courses. Use those to approach this in an adult fashion and talk to her.