my babys father....

What is the name of your state? virginia

my babys father is in the navy and married to another woman. now my son is eight months old and has a lot of medical problems. i wrote him (hes somewere overseas) but he did not respond. someone told me i should write to his commanding officer but i am worried that he would be kicked out if they find out . my question is if i tell his officer could they discharged him out the navy? thanx Nadja

[stealth2]

If he's overseas right now, it could take quite some time to get a response. While I know the military frowns upon affairs, I don't know enough about the military to give you any type of definitive answer as to whether he's be discharged or not.

Do you have any resources through family to help you with the child's medical expenses until you hear back from Dad (hopefully soon)? I'm sorry he's having problems - may they all be resolved for him with as little pain as possible.

Having a child outside of marriage is not grounds for dismissal from military service.

And yes, it does take time to get letters overseas, upwards of two to three weeks and sometimes more.

Give him time to respond, two months is a good measure. However, if after this time you have not heard from him, do contact his unit about the situation. If your son is proven to be the child of an active service member, he is entited to medical benefits which your ex can expedite.

[stealth2]

Originally posted by hexeliebe
Having a child outside of marriage is not grounds for dismissal from military service.

But adultery can be. I simply don't know how vociferously it's enforced.

Just to clarify Momma, although you are right, nothing in the original poster's statement said this was an adulterous situation. While it's possible, it's also possible that the child was conceived then the relationship ended, he met another girl and married her within the time between conception and now.

But the main issue is the child. And the child has certain dependent rights.

i wrote him in febuary and send him another letter a few weeks ago. as for him and his marriage, he was married when we were toghether (though i was told they were seperated by him. stuppid me). well i dont want to hurt his wife with the news either. i really hate to start some big ugly thing! wish they were a easier way. thanks for the advice though.....

Nadja

Take this for what you will but it comes from a divorced father of two girls.

SCREW him, his wife and anything else except your child. This child has a right to support, to medical benefits and to a father. If the father won't step to the plate then do what you have to to take care of the child, and the rest of it be damned.

lol thanx hexeliebe! yeah i should at this point not give a damn (havent slept a full night or eaten anything right in 8 months). i just cant help but feel sorry for his wife. i will wait if he will respond this time and if not i will take youre advice......thanx a ton

Nadja

[VeronicaGia]

Originally posted by hexeliebe
Take this for what you will but it comes from a divorced father of two girls.

SCREW him, his wife and anything else except your child. This child has a right to support, to medical benefits and to a father. If the father won't step to the plate then do what you have to to take care of the child, and the rest of it be damned.

And if he gets dishonorably discharged from the service and has no income, I wonder how much support and medical he will provide???

Check another post I just answered Veronica. Unless the adultry is within the Chain of Command the military has no more say in the results as do the state courts. Army Regulation 609 has been revised in 1998 to preclude discharge for adultry with a non-military member or a member outside the offender's chain of command.

This is UCMJ not state laws.

[stephenk]

Do you already have an order of child support against the father? Has the dad acknowledged being the father of the child?

If no, then you need to file a paternity action and get an order of child support first.

no i never filed for anything. see i just wanted to make sure he wont get discharged if this would hit the fan . thanks hexe thats great stuff. hexeliebe you been to germany (just wondering about the name). i grew up in stuttgart. nadja

Naturlich hab ich.

I lived in Munich, Rosenheim, Wasserburg and Pfaffing then crossed the border and was in Salzburg and Vienna the across Austria to Bregenz...

I also did three years at Bad Aibling but I'd have to shoot you if I told you what I did there

okay i wont ask. even though now i really want to know . yeah i have not been home in 7 years. kinda miss it. wanna thank you again for the info. that really helped out.

Nadja

I agree w/HEX at this point. This you need to get a lawyer and file a paternity suit. If his wife, job, or anyone else find out that is just to bad. Your child needs a dad and needs child support.

I'm sure his wife will just flip, but it is not your fault if she does, it is his and you can't try and protect her, you need to protect your child.

JoandJa'smom