My husband failed to tell me about a loan made and now cannot pay and lost his job.

[Kellie6315]

We have only been married 2 months. Married in the U.S. And U.S. Citizen. However, we recently moved to the UAE. He unexpectedly lost his job and had to reveal to me that he made a huge loan that he cannot repay. I feel so hurt and lied to. I love him dearly but feel this is wrong. He is at risk for jail. Am I going to be in trouble? Is this grounds for annulment? I love him dearly and do not want him hurt. So scared. Please what do I do?

 

[Proserpina]

We have only been married 2 months. Married in the U.S. And U.S. Citizen. However, we recently moved to the UAE. He unexpectedly lost his job and had to reveal to me that he made a huge loan that he cannot repay. I feel so hurt and lied to. I love him dearly but feel this is wrong. He is at risk for jail. Am I going to be in trouble? Is this grounds for annulment? I love him dearly and do not want him hurt. So scared. Please what do I do?

At risk for jail?

If you're under UAE jurisdiction, that's where you'll need to seek legal advice.

If it's actually a US matter, he's done something criminal - is that the case?

 

[Kellie6315]

He made loan in UAE.
I guess I need to know what rights I have marrying him in the U.S. And giving up my very good job and entrusting him with my life and well being. I do not have a visa yet. I'm trying to get home and he is wanting to come with me before a travel ban is placed on him. Am I risking going to jail for knowing this? One minute I'm mad and want to sue him for costing me my job and risking me having criminal problems. I trusted him and was clueless. I thought the money he has/had , he saved bc he was making very good money. I do not want to hurt him but he has hurt me by doing this. I'm embarrassed and mad. He is making me feel like I should stand by him and that he didn't lie to me but that he just didn't reveal something to me yet. He sealed the loan deal after only days before we married.
What legal rights as U.S. Citizen and marrying in the U.S. do I have to protect myself further?
And aside legal advice can you or someone tell me your opinion on if I should annul this marriage even though it breaks my heart to do so. I vowed to stay forever but this is going to cause trust issues. Are there other things I don't know? I'm a nervous wreck.
Thank you

 

[Kellie6315]

He spent the money , lost his job, no means to pay it back all at once but would make payments if he could. However, in the UAE it is a criminal matter not civil and you are jailed if you can't pay back in full . He wants to flee before that happens with the intent to pay it back in payments once he gets another job in the states.

 

[Proserpina]

He spent the money , lost his job, no means to pay it back all at once but would make payments if he could. However, in the UAE it is a criminal matter not civil and you are jailed if you can't pay back in full . He wants to flee before that happens with the intent to pay it back in payments once he gets another job in the states.

Kellie, I want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly.

One of you is the US citizen - who is that? The way your first post is worded indicates that you're the US citizen but further on it suggests he's the US citizen.

Can you clarify for me?

 

[Kellie6315]

I'm sorry, we both are U.S. Citizens.
He is a private contractor.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm sorry, we both are U.S. Citizens.
He is a private contractor.

Okay, great! Thank you for clarifying.

Unfortunately, the only advice I can give you is in line with preserving and protecting yourself and your assets versus preserving your marriage.

If I were you, I'd be on the next plane home, and first stop would be an attorney's office; I'd be filing for divorce immediately. Annulment wouldn't be a consideration since it tends to be actually more expensive and time-consuming than what would be essentially a very simple divorce.

Love only gets you so far in a relationship. There has to be trust, and you've just been shown very clearly that you can't trust him. He'll tell you he's sorry (if he hasn't already), and it won't happen again, but I think you're far more intelligent than to believe that.

Unfortunately, the only real option I think you have is divorce.

 

[Kellie6315]

Thank you so much

 

[Eekamouse]

If it was a HUGE loan, he couldn't have spent all of it so quickly, can he? Was he fired for cause? Is he eligible to collect unemployment? This loan was taken out before you married him?

 

[Kellie6315]

200k
Less than 50k left
Contract up and some employees let go and not given another contract.
Is there unemployment in the UAE?
Every payment pain on time so far, if what he tells me is true.
But here after one failed payment they put you in jail
He wants to leave before a travel ban is placed then settle payment arrangements w bank from home to pay back.

 

[Kellie6315]

He says he asked for loan while we were engaged and was given then $ a couple weeks before our wedding.
He was always very generous w money and seemed even more so lately. He gave most to terminal mother who passed. He paid all remaining bills and funeral as well and have money to family. He didn't do anything bad w it or even use on himself but nonetheless, he took out a loan he can't repay , was dishonest with me and my family, risking my well being , taking me from my country, family, job, life, etc....that is to me ...the selfish part.
I can't stand the thought of him hurting. I'm torn. I feel awful.

 

[Proserpina]

If it was a HUGE loan, he couldn't have spent all of it so quickly, can he? Was he fired for cause? Is he eligible to collect unemployment? This loan was taken out before you married him?

Eek, he was working in UAE...

 

[Proserpina]

He says he asked for loan while we were engaged and was given then $ a couple weeks before our wedding.
He was always very generous w money and seemed even more so lately. He gave most to terminal mother who passed. He paid all remaining bills and funeral as well and have money to family. He didn't do anything bad w it or even use on himself but nonetheless, he took out a loan he can't repay , was dishonest with me and my family, risking my well being , taking me from my country, family, job, life, etc....that is to me ...the selfish part.
I can't stand the thought of him hurting. I'm torn. I feel awful.

I know you don't want him to hurt.

But he's hurting you, and himself, by his actions - not yours. You've done nothing, and as much as you might feel horrid about it all you've got to put yourself first. You have to protect yourself - that's your priority. The rest can wait and I'm about to suggest something that's quite unpopular but I do think it might be necessary.

Get a divorce.

If he wants to work this out with you, he's going to have to earn your trust all over again. You don't need a marriage license for that - and not being married will allows you to let things develop (or not develop) without being tied to him financially all over again. And who knows - maybe this is his one big mistake. It might be the last stupid thing he ever does.

But in the meantime, you need to protect YOU.

 

[LdiJ]

I know you don't want him to hurt.

But he's hurting you, and himself, by his actions - not yours. You've done nothing, and as much as you might feel horrid about it all you've got to put yourself first. You have to protect yourself - that's your priority. The rest can wait and I'm about to suggest something that's quite unpopular but I do think it might be necessary.

Get a divorce.

If he wants to work this out with you, he's going to have to earn your trust all over again. You don't need a marriage license for that - and not being married will allows you to let things develop (or not develop) without being tied to him financially all over again. And who knows - maybe this is his one big mistake. It might be the last stupid thing he ever does.

But in the meantime, you need to protect YOU.

And one very critical issue in protecting yourself is to get the heck back in the US, like yesterday!

 

[Proserpina]

And one very critical issue in protecting yourself is to get the heck back in the US, like yesterday!

Absolutely - like next plane out.

Kellie, we're not messing you around here hon. It's not strictly legal help you've been given, but we do know what we're talking about in this sort of situation and I was actually hoping LdiJ would see this very soon.