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  #1  
Old 07-25-2009, 08:49 PM
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Need advice if divorce would make things better or worse?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in texas, montgomery county, used to live in Harris, that is where all of the court hearings are held...My question is that cps took our children, our 2 ages 1 and 3, and his 2 ages 13 and 14, Things aren't going all that well...they gave the older two back to thier mother's...she is married to sex offender. The younger two are at my mom and dads house....We went to a PC the other day and they are changing thier recomendation to the court to family adoption...there aren't any allegations agianst me so if i filed for divorce would that help me get them back or would it make it harder for me as a single mom to get them back?
  #2  
Old 07-25-2009, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethany Finley View Post
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in texas, montgomery county, used to live in Harris, that is where all of the court hearings are held...My question is that cps took our children, our 2 ages 1 and 3, and his 2 ages 13 and 14, Things aren't going all that well...they gave the older two back to thier mother's...she is married to sex offender. The younger two are at my mom and dads house....We went to a PC the other day and they are changing thier recomendation to the court to family adoption...there aren't any allegations agianst me so if i filed for divorce would that help me get them back or would it make it harder for me as a single mom to get them back?
What allegations are there? How far into the case are you? Apparently a year or so. Mom is married to a sex offender? What kind of sex offender? Have your parents sued for custody for the children? What have you completed on your case plan? What haven't you completed?

And from the sounds of it, you are not serious about divorce.
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Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #3  
Old 07-25-2009, 11:17 PM
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Unhappy
i think you misunderstood me, the older kids really don't have anything to do with me at this point, they are with thier mom, even though she is married to a sex offender (aggrevated sexual assualt of a minor (16))...but that is besides the point...the allegations by his older kids is what is keeping us from getting our babies back...we are only six months into it but they have already switched the family plan to relative adoption...which really concerns me...my husband is bi-polar and this has been really hard on him...and it shows...don't know if he will be able to complete all tasks for cps....
  #4  
Old 07-25-2009, 11:18 PM
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One more time
WHAT ARE THE ALLEGATIONS
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  #5  
Old 07-26-2009, 04:18 AM
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I'm sorry the allegations are for child abuse, child neglect(not sure about that one) and he smokes weed...I don't really want to get a divorce but i will choose my children over my husband if it comes to that...
  #6  
Old 07-26-2009, 07:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethany Finley View Post
I'm sorry the allegations are for child abuse, child neglect(not sure about that one) and he smokes weed...I don't really want to get a divorce but i will choose my children over my husband if it comes to that...
And what was he supposed to do for the case plan. And the allegations quite frankly are regarding the children. The children are abused, neglected, and drugs were involved.

Has he quit smoking weed? Have you both completed the case plan objectives? You are just as responsible for the children being neglected and abused as he is. Even if he is the one stated as abusing them, YOU apparently ALLOWED it.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #7  
Old 07-26-2009, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethany Finley View Post
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in texas, montgomery county, used to live in Harris, that is where all of the court hearings are held...My question is that cps took our children, our 2 ages 1 and 3, and his 2 ages 13 and 14, Things aren't going all that well...they gave the older two back to thier mother's...she is married to sex offender. The younger two are at my mom and dads house....We went to a PC the other day and they are changing thier recomendation to the court to family adoption...there aren't any allegations agianst me so if i filed for divorce would that help me get them back or would it make it harder for me as a single mom to get them back?
If you had immediately separated from your husband and filed for divorce you might have had them back by now. The fact that you haven't is a problem.

If CPS is already at the point where they are recommending family adoption, then the situation may have progressed too far, too seriously, for you to ever get them back.
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  #8  
Old 07-26-2009, 05:05 PM
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There is a lot more to it than what i have shared....those children were not abused...both of his children are bi-polar, his son also suffers from seperation anxiety, oppositioal defiance disorder,and ADHD.... and a vindictive ex-wife... plus the 2 year old and the infant...we had our hands full...we are by no means perfect but those children were loved...well taken care of...I don't know if you know anything about harris county tx cps....i just got my referal wednesday for the couples counseling...we are almost six months into it...I have been doing everything...He has started what has been available to him...somethings not as done as they could be...
  #9  
Old 07-26-2009, 06:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethany Finley View Post
There is a lot more to it than what i have shared....those children were not abused...both of his children are bi-polar, his son also suffers from seperation anxiety, oppositioal defiance disorder,and ADHD.... and a vindictive ex-wife... plus the 2 year old and the infant...we had our hands full...we are by no means perfect but those children were loved...well taken care of...I don't know if you know anything about harris county tx cps....i just got my referal wednesday for the couples counseling...we are almost six months into it...I have been doing everything...He has started what has been available to him...somethings not as done as they could be...
A vindictive ex wife? Were the children getting all of their medication? Were the children going to all of their medical appointments? When was the last time your pothead husband had weed? What proof of abuse was there? Apparently something because in order to remove the children and keep them out of the house they would have had to prove abuse and neglect. So what proof did they have to adjudicate the children abused and neglected?

Apparently there were substantiated problems with abuse and neglect. Your husband smokes weed according to you. When was the last time he had a dirty urine test? HOw often have you seen your children?

Truthfully if you divorced him at this point -- your question shows you really don't want to divorce him. If you did, you wouldn't be here asking. You would have filed. Basically you would divorce him and then what? After they close the case, reunite with him?
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #10  
Old 07-27-2009, 12:58 PM
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Actually...I don't know what i want to do but i do know that I am not going to just sit here and let them adopt my children out...we are doing all of our stuff...he has already had several clean urine and hair test...my husband may have a quick temper; however, for the most part he does a good job controlling it...but he has a hard time when the older children are physical abusive towards the younger children...I still firmly believe that 99% of the allegations are untrue...but my husband pissed them off enough for them to give us the big screw you treatment...did you know that the first time that CPS was called the allegations were for physical abuse...the CPS worker showed up two full days before we took custody of his two older children...and I see my children at least 4 times a week....I am here asking because i am scared and confused....I don't to make this worse for my children or me...The kids were on meds...went to all dr. appointments...ex-wife called the friday b4 they were taken and told cps that she thought my husband and i were going to leave the state with the children...we were not planning that
Last edited by Bethany Finley; 07-27-2009 at 01:04 PM.
  #11  
Old 07-27-2009, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethany Finley View Post
Actually...I don't know what i want to do but i do know that I am not going to just sit here and let them adopt my children out...we are doing all of our stuff...he has already had several clean urine and hair test...my husband may have a quick temper; however, for the most part he does a good job controlling it...but he has a hard time when the older children are physical abusive towards the younger children...I still firmly believe that 99% of the allegations are untrue...but my husband pissed them off enough for them to give us the big screw you treatment...did you know that the first time that CPS was called the allegations were for physical abuse...the CPS worker showed up two full days before we took custody of his two older children...and I see my children at least 4 times a week....I am here asking because i am scared and confused....I don't to make this worse for my children or me...The kids were on meds...went to all dr. appointments...ex-wife called the friday b4 they were taken and told cps that she thought my husband and i were going to leave the state with the children...we were not planning that

you need to stop being confused and scared. it looks like it might be too late at this point since adoption seems to be an option for CPS.

what you SHOULD have done was the minute CPS walked into the picture was divorce your husband, request a restraining order against him for you and the children. but you didn't. you stayed.


go speak to an attorney in your area.
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