Need advice on legal marriage at 15

What is the name of your state? Arkansas

ok my name is Nicole Miller and I live in Arkansas. I know that the legal age to be married here is 18, unless you have parents permission. But I cannot get that as my parents do not approve of the guy I wish to marry. I know that I can go to Mississippi to be married at 15, but my parents have a restraining order on the guy and I want to know if that will interfere with my getting married. Before anyone starts jumping on me, I know it's not a good idea to be married this young, but I am only wanting to do it so I can be with the guy. We were to be married in a few years anyway. I just need to know if the marriage will be legal back in Arkansas and if my parents will be able to do anything about it because of the restraining order. Please help.

Girl, you're crazy. Why is there a restraining order between the two of you? How old is this man? I was married at 18, and now have 3 children by 21, and believe me, there are days I regret it. You are still a child--enjoy it while you casn. The harshness and reality of adulthood will come soon enough. No need to rush it. Besides, if you have to sneak around to see this guy because your parents dont approve, there has to be a hidden reason, like drug use or domestic violence. No matter what you may think, your parents are only acting with your best intrests at heart. Hold off on the marriage thing for a few years. If the guy is still around, then you know he really cares for you, and then getting married would be a good thing.

And no, you cannot violate a restraining order just because you're married.

the guy is 16. how do i get them to let me see him? he hasnt done anything to me, my parents just dont want me to see him. we were together for two years and all of a sudden they put a restraining order on him. the reason i was thinking of this is because i dont want to sneak around. do you have any advice on how long restraining orders last or what i could do to make my parents see that he is ok.

A restraining order is usually for 4 years. Why dont your parents like him all of a sudden. Something had to have happened**************.

i dont know. i know that his mother is involved in drugs, but they used to have him drug tested so that they would know that he wasnt using. then they told us that we couldnt see each other anymore, so we just snuck around. there were rumors that he had hit me, but none of them were true, i wouldnt be stupid enough to stay with someone who hit me. so they got the order put on him. is there anyway to get the order shortened? and you're sure that a marriage wouldnt do anything, i thought that it was the responsibility of the family to enforce it. what happens if we get pulled over while we are together? can he be taken to jail if my parents havent called the police?

Nicole,
If the police run your names, the restraining order will pop up, and violation of one is a felony. I would really suggest talking CALMLY to your paernts regarding the reasons behind their not wanting you to see him any longer.

I've been in abusive relationships before, Nicole, and the one being hit will always say that they were not hit, and always say they would leave if they were ever hit by their partner. In reality, they have been hit, probably more than once, and were told that the other person was sorry, it was an accident, they'll never do it again, they love you, etc etc etc. But let me tell you this from experience, if a man has hit you once--ONE TIME--and nothing has been done to punish him or he has not sought counseling, he WILL do it again. There may be dormant periods where he does not hit, but they will always regress to that behavior once they feel they have gotten away with it once. It is a way of controlling a situation they feel they cannot handle any longer, and as sorry as they may be afterwards, the man will become more and more used to hitting you until he really hurts you, or kills you. The man I was with abused me for a long time, and he had me convinced it was always my fault for something I did. I hope that if this is going on in your relationship NOW, you end it NOW, so you dont end up stuck later on in a controlling relationship witha man-child with self esteem so low, he has to harm others to make himself feel that he has worth. If his mother is addicted to drugs, then he is in desparate need of attention and feeling like he is in control--a dangerous combination for a man with a temper.

i have heard from a friend that when i am 16 then i can get the order taken off. is this true?

You are not the party who placed the order, and therefore have no way of having it removed until you are legal age---18 not 16

As far as I know, in Mississippi, you have to be 21 without parental consent, 14 or 15 without. Either way, your relationship doesn't sound very stable. Certainly your parents aren't ridiculous enough to place a restraining order on him for no reason. Still, only you know what your relationship is like. Unfortunately, after researching it for five months, I still haven't found one place where you can marry under eighteen without consent. If I do, i'll let you know. Meanwhile, you have an advantage in this situation that I don't. My parents abandoned me, yours are still around and whether they're reasonable or not, they're trying to protect you. So, talk to them, and see what happens. Best of luck. .
Nani

Honey you are far to young to even think of getting married. Maybe thats why your parents put the restraining order on your boyfriend. If you was my daughter i would probably do the same if i had good enough reason. I was almost 23 years old when I got married and I still feel that I was a little to young. A 15 and 16 year old kid cannot support themselves let alone any children that may come about from the marriage. It is hard enough for me and my husband who are almost 25 years old. thats ten years older than you. and we have two children together. He has a college degree and a great job. But when you are paying a mortgage, utility bills, possible credit card payments and grocery needs and car payments car insurance. it can be hard just to do those things. I don't want to sound like I am yelling at you its just I don't want to see young people like yourselves making a terrible mistake like that. Please give what I have said some serious thought. When you are at least 18 then you will be able to have had time to think things over . Maybe your parents are right in doing the things they have done. You just have to try to understand and maybe talk with them about why they have done this. Trust me when i say that there are far worse things that your parents can do to you. Good luck to you and I hope things work out for you.

[mandy7181]

i agree with the above post. Im 21 now. I was 18 when i got married and have 1 child. Its hard enough to make it in the world when you have finished highschool and some college. I cant imagine doing it when i was 15 years old. Where will you work. Mcdonald's dont pay half enough. Your still a child. Enjoy childhood. You'll wish later that you still had it. Dont rush marriage. Any guy worth having will wait. And dont go against your parent's wishes. Despite what you think they love you and only want the best for you. Ask them why they dont like your boyfriend. They may see something that you dont. Love is blind.