In need of clarifying a dilemma...

I live in NYC. We divorced in 1997. My ex husband use to live in NYC, but after the divorce moved to Virginia. He visits our daughter when ever he gets the opportunity because of his work schedule (business owner). So far, we don't have a set visitation formula (because of his constant overseas flights due to the business). My question is... most probaby I will be re-marrying in the future. I do not plan to stay in NYC (in the best interest for our child and one other step-child). Do I have to ask my ex permission to move to another state...and how will the visitation costs be solved. If and when I move, i will be moving to another state, not easily accesible by car, but by air transportation.

[quote]Originally posted by DLsDP
So far, we don't have a set visitation formula

You should get a custody order. If Dad someday decides the child will go home with him, there will be NOTHING you can do. Because of the fact that there are no supporting court documents stating that the child resides with you.

Do I have to ask my ex permission to move to another state...and how will the visitation costs be solved.

Technically, you don't- because there is no court order, BUT you and the father seem to have a decent realtionship for the past few years. In all honesty, you should tell him, when/if you plan to move.

Visitation costs should be shared. But if you are the moving parent, it looks better in the eyes of the court if you offer to pay over half or the entire cost of travel for the NCP to visit.

IF you had a court order, you would have to petition the courts to move, and show that the move would benefit the child.

If and when I move, I will be moving to another state, not easily accesible by car, but by air transportation.

If you can drive on a road to get to your house or to the airport to drop your child off, so can the father of the child. You need to make it as accesible to the NCP as possible. Meet at an airport whether it be two hours away or more.

You will also need to offer the father a more stable time for visits, if the child is old enought to fly on a plane- the send her to Dad's that way.

Try not to frustrate the relationship between the father and child, this will make things go easier.

No matter what, you will need to get a court order for visitation and custody. Or if Dad doesn't like where you're moving, he can always come an pick little Mary up anytime he wants and take her home. Whether you like it or not.