Need help!

california - my partner & i have 22 month old twin girls and i want him to leave the apartment that we have shared for the past 3 ½ years. he doesn’t have job (leaving me to pay the bills as i have a full-time job), he doesn't have a car, we argue all the time and during those arguments he makes nasty threats towards me, calls me nasty names and makes racial remarks as well (i am caucasian he’s black.) he's even made accusations that the girls are not his. there is a past record of physical violence from him towards me from about 1 year ago. he has completed an angermanagment class but has now resorted to the threats and name-calling. recently he was “so angry” with our girls, for pulling-up a plant that he had recently potted, that he waited for us to leave the apartment he then threw out their entire toy box full of toys. i can’t live like this and i certainly don’t want my girls to grow-up in this type of environment…can someone, anyone give me some advise on what i can do? and yes i’ve thought about taking my girls and moving out but he's told me that he won’t let me take them with me. help me i need advise, i don't know what i can do!

If he is abusive to you and the girls then why would you need someone to tell you to get out? So were do the girls stay while you work? are you saying he never is out of the house were you can get out? There are agencies in every town that can help if you need somewere to go for a while. Next time he threatens you call the law and have them remove him, but then you are still were he can harras you, get an injuction order against him so he cannot come near you or the kids, find a place to stay until it cools off and stop making it possible for him to do these things to you and the girls before something really bad happens. Good luck.

File for custody NOW! Get a RO against him and have him removed from the home. Don't wait for him to display his anger again, it could prove to be disastrous. Good Luck to you.

i did file for a RO, but the court denied me. apparently throwing out a child's entire toy box of toys is not enough to warrant his removal and when he was asked about the threats - he said that was not what he had said and that i exaggerated the incident to try to get him removed. i had to admit that he has never shown any kind of violence towards our girls (i didn't want to start lying to the judge). the court system broke my heart. they're telling me that the apartment is just as much his as it is mine, that he has just as much rights regarding the girls as i do and that if i keep them from him in anyway that i'll be in the wrong. it seems to me that unless he physically assaults me or my children the courts will not remove him and of course he's not going to leave. i'm in the process of finding an apartment but i'm scared that if i leave the home that i'm going to put my rights in regards to the girls in jeopardy. this is the first time i wished we had gotten married years ago, at least then i could file for a divorce. when it comes to the girls he is a good, hands-on, reading to, playing with, changing diapers, cooking dinner kind of dad...but he & i just can't live together. when i look at him anymore, especially after what he did to their toys, i just want to punch him in the face!