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  1. #1
    bunky Guest

    Unhappy Need protection from my husband's ex

    What is the name of your state? Ohio/Utah
    I currently live in Utah because of a job transfer -my husband's ex-wife lives in Ohio. My husband has paid alimony (half of his income) to his ex for the last 5 years and has 3 more years to go according to divorce agreement (otherwise, alimony ends when she re-marries). In the divorce, she got the house and everything in it, the cars, all of the bank account monies, except for what my husband needed to pay his attorney. My husband got away with the clothes on his back. This is an indication of how the Ohio courts work. I came along into my husband's life well after their divorce. It was his business before we got together so up until my personal problem with his ex I have been completely out of it. They were married for 15 years and she never worked. She is an alcoholic/prescription drug abuser and will probably never be of value to society. She has sued several people/businesses since the divorce in order to gain income (was awarded $25K on last case in '01). As far as we know, she has not attempted to find steady employment -she's looking to sue to get money, and my husband is the current target. She has been badgering HR departments at my husbandís former employer and also his current employer to find out how she can get a piece of his retirement and/or become beneficiary of the 401Kís. She has subtly threatened the employers stating that she could sue them to become beneficiary, but is asking that they do it ďthe easy way.Ē She thinks she can make it happen without my husbandís knowledge. She has also been inquiring about his salary and potential bonuses. Additionally, she and I both have the same name, and she has recently impersonated me in attempts to gain financial information about my husband and me, as a credit card company informed us. This is customary behavior for her. I already had one lawyer stop her in her tracks about a year and a half ago with a cease and desist letter after she telephoned my parents and harassed them when she found out her ex-husband was re-marrying (almost 4 yrs after their divorce -they were separated for two years prior to that); and for impersonating me with the airlines trying to cancel flights arranged for my job. Iíve been forced to use a special code word with the airlines to manage my travel for work. As far as I know, she immediately stopped calls to my parents and the impersonating behavior after receiving the cease and desist letter. Recently, I called a couple lawyers to see what I can do to protect our assets. She could take him back to court for more support if she thought he was making more money at his relatively new job, but I'm certain that at that court hearing, she would tack on being beneficiary of basically everything of his, plus whatever else is in her head. Of course, another cease and desist letter came to my mind. One attorney said there is nothing I can do and itís none of my business whatever method she chooses to pursue him. I disagree that my husbandís income and his designation of beneficiary is not my business, and her seeking out my immediate family for income is not my business, and her impersonating me is not my business. But thatís why Iím writing this, because often times when things are not ďfairĒ they are still unfortunately ďlegal.Ē Regarding my situation, Iím not sure. Is there anything we can do to stop her inquisition on our finances and this harassment Ėlike behavior? My husband and I are somewhat ďtraditionalĒ in that we put EVERYTHING in HIS name, including all bank accounts and even the title to the car I drive. Personally, I prefer it that way, but this situation is making me wonder. Would it help at all if I move all of our assets into accounts with my name only? What about when we buy a house next summer? Can she get that if the house is in both my husbandís and my name? We donít really want to take her to court, but if SHE goes that route, we want to be protected.
  2. #2
    Whyte Noise is offline Senior Member
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    Jun 2002
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    Personally I wouldnt put anything in your name. She's already impersonated you before. All she'd have to do is walk into a bank, say... "Whoops. I forgot my checkbook, can I get a counter check to withdraw from my account? Here's my ID" and since you both have the same name, (I assume you have the same first name, and she kept her married name after the divorce) they'd see that Mary Brown does indeed have an account with them, and might let her do it. Not saying this WILL happen as I don't deal with banks, but you never know. Same goes with property... She might sell it posing as you. And you two having the same name might really complicate things when it comes to buying that house. "Look your honor!! He put my name on that house too!! He *wanted* me to have it!!" She calls the car dealership..."I dont want this POS anymore, come and repo it, it's at 1313 Hill Street." See where I'm going with this??

    You can try the cease and desist order again. Take out a restraining order on her. (Doesnt matter if it's different states, it can still be done I believe) As for impersonating you on the other things, I have no idea what you could do for that. I imagine there IS something, but I don't know what that might be.... Maybe Identity Theft?? Alert all three major credit reporting agencies that she's posing as you, and to let you know of any credit inquiries they get. As for trying to be your husband's beneficiary.... HE decides who that is, and in most cases it's automatically the spouse, not the EX spouse. They can't and shouldn't change that without his consent. But again, you run into the same name issue on that too.... I feel for you. Sorry I couldn't be of more help....
  3. #3
    bunky Guest
    Thanks for your info. It never really dawned on me that she really could mess up things that are in my name. I was thinking more along the lines of my husband's posessions that she does have somewhat of a legal claim on. You're correct, we have the same first name and she kept the last name. I've been avoiding incorporating my middle name just because I have never used it and it's always been consistent that way. But I think I may go ahead and use it now. I'm going to write to the credit bureaus, that is excellent advice. Thank you so much!
  4. #4
    kat1963 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
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    Virginia
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    1,939
    Oh, yes, she can mess things up big time. I'm in a similar situation, just by the luck of the draw she didn't get alimony however, thank god (default judgement)! We also have the same name. She has used my insurance card that she stole, attempted my ATM (guess she didn't know it was a visa as well) but the machine ate it after 3 tries. She has also given her creditors my address for collections on her accounts. Collectors just shake their heads when I explain I am NOT that woman. Ours is another certified wacko from Ohio...go figure...the water, you think? (sorry Ohio people, just joking). Also never worked, no reason for it, the kids are teens now. This is just the tip of the iceburg. According to my records, ours sues someone on an average of every 18 months.
    Right now everything is in my name, home, business, cars, accounts ect. Everything that can have a password does, insurance ect. and/is otherwise red flagged. I pull our credit reports at least every 2 months. She was also sent a cease & desist letter, she was quiet for a while, but has recently started back up again. Luckily for us, VA passed new identity theft laws, and I have a feeling this time, she's going to jail. I think I have her on a 980 Visa, since it's over 200 it's a felony, 10 years.
    If I were you, it's probably worth it to send another cease & desist. Make sure to check your credit rating w/the big three on a constant basis. As for her filing, well there isn't anything to worry about until such time as you get served by the court. She can file whatever she wants it doesn't mean she is going to win. You can however probably expect (as we do) a flurry of stuff once alimony (child support for us) is about to end (2 years 9 months 10 days) We just plan to ride that tide once it hits...no sense in making yourself crazy now right!
    Regards;
    KAT
  5. #5
    bunky Guest
    Thank you, thank you! It's unbelievable that you have such a similar situation. This was great information and advice, please keep me posted if you think of anything else.

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