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07-28-2008, 04:25 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6
| |  Need some Help with a case that I will soon be going to court for..
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon
I have an ex that is now engaged to a woman who thinks she is apart of everything that goes on. Well I have a 13 month old with this ex. We broke up the end of January and he got with his fiance immediatly. Well I filed for Joint Custody and now think that is a BIG mistake. We have gone to mediation back in April and agreed to him getting the baby two nights every other weekend, all father's day weekend and split holidays. Well he refused to sign the mediation papers and the time lapsed. Well now we have to go back to mediation next month and he is all upset cuz i reserved him the petition and summons thru certified mail and he recieved it before they told me when the mediation date is and said that I am serving him only cuz I knew he was gonna call the mediator. My ex did tell me that he was gonna call the mediator and that was all I knew. Never heard another word about it until I asked IF he ever called and I mailed that copy off to him before I found out the date of mediation. So far since we have broken up he has only taken his son twice and has had two additional visitations set up that he was a no call/no show. And expects me to call to arrange the visitations. I really don't want my child in that house since his other kids from his first marriage don't want to go over there. He has three kids from his first marriage. Luckily I never married this man. His kids have told me about how him and his fiance has bad mouthed me around them and the youngest of his daughters who is 10 mentioned my name one day and he yelled at her for it. I am afraid of what might happen to my son with this kind of behaviour over there. My ex thinks that I should be the one contacting him and I refuse to go there. I will contact him if there is an emergency but that is IT.. Can someone please help me??   |
07-28-2008, 04:30 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 10,152
| | | Deal with it in mediation next month.
__________________
It is our unanimous opinion that you are damn right and it should be obvious to any moron that your (ex) (SO’s ex) (boss) (landlord) (local police) should be immediately (jailed) (fired) (reprimanded) (arrested) (demoted) (shot) (evicted).
In fact, you are so astonishingly correct in this matter, it will not surprise us one bit if you are offered a generous settlement, because, by golly, that’s just how it should be.
You Rock,
Love,
Us
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07-28-2008, 04:48 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4
| | | I only know how the laws are in IL not out there but here is some possible help.
By the way, you did or did not file for Joint Custody? The best thing you can do is file for full custody. Get a lawyer to help you with this. Full custody does not mean that your ex will not have visitation, but just that you are the only decision maker in your childs life and that they reside with you.
You don't have to set up the visitations or even call to do so, that is his responsibility. If he wants to see his child he will call you to arrange for it, but don't refuse visitation, that would look poorly on you in court. Keep track of all of his visits, times, phone calls, record them or write them all down in a ledger.
Write down any and all wrongdoings you find out about that go on in his household, get some kind of proof or witness. Unless he signs away his right as a parent or gets charged with some really bad things, he still has a right to visitation with his child.
What about child support? Go through the courts or state to get that set up. Keep in mind that usually it is a separte issue and visitation can't be canceled due to non-payment of support. |
07-28-2008, 04:59 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6
| | | Yeah that is one thing I forgot to mention I don't get child support right now. Right the Oregon Department of Child Support is trying to establish a case and go after him. All i have recieved from him is 50 for a car seat, 20 for pants and a small package of diapers. And this is all since the beginning of Febuary. |
07-28-2008, 05:00 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: CO
Posts: 13,102
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by coogee1  I only know how the laws are in IL not out there but here is some possible help. | Don't do this.
I know you want to help, but state law varies widely. Each is different. If you don't KNOW, don't type. It's not actually helpful.
Thanks.
__________________
"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." Ford, at The Other Place |
07-28-2008, 05:03 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: CO
Posts: 13,102
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by somomof3 Yeah that is one thing I forgot to mention I don't get child support right now. Right the Oregon Department of Child Support is trying to establish a case and go after him. All i have recieved from him is 50 for a car seat, 20 for pants and a small package of diapers. And this is all since the beginning of Febuary. | If he isn't court ordered to pay CS, then he doesn't owe you one red cent. Anything he gave you is a pleasant gift.
__________________
"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." Ford, at The Other Place | |
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