Needing Unbiased advice please

[almostofage]

What is the name of your state? LA

My mothers husband adopted me at 6. He is controlling and physically abusive. Doesn't like the fact that I know my real father and have been in contact. I plan to move out on my 18th bday. Have worked since 14 saving for college have a touch over 22k in savings.

In an attempt to control me yet again, my mothers husband has offered to pay my 4 year college tution including room and board, to any one of the 3 colleges i was accepted at, 1 Locally, (LSU) 1 in TX (A&M) and one in upstate NY (Cornell)
But there are stipulations, I must maintain an A B Average, not hard, and I must refrain from all future contact with Bio-dad, and must keep his last name. He has also offered to pay first year all expenses and give an "allowance" so that i didnt have to work and could get settled into a college life routin, get accustomed to the work load.

Now for the advice, I feel that I am entitled to, ( well more like he owes me for what he has done to me) the college tution. But morally i probably shouldnt accept as I have no plans to sever ties with bio-dad. That being said, if i dont go through with the adult adoption I would not get student loans, as I wouldnt qualify with his income. and I am smart enough to know that 22K will not cover a 4 year college.

I was thinking of taking him up on the offer and going upstate, away from everyone and try being my own "kept" man. Getting away from both sides and hoping 4 years will lift this fog off my head. I know I do not want to carry on with the rest of my life with his name. But I also dont want to work at entry level for life and never amount to anything.

I am really confused and looking for educated non biased advice from perfect strangers.

Also, if he did pay for year one of college, and finds out i am in communication with my bio-dad, can he withdraw the tution already paid? I know this isnt a legal question, just wondering if any of you have gone through that specific experience or know some who has.

Thank you for any help you can give in this regard.

Originally Posted by almostofage

What is the name of your state? LA

My mothers husband adopted me at 6. He is controlling and physically abusive. Doesn't like the fact that I know my real father and have been in contact. I plan to move out on my 18th bday. Have worked since 14 saving for college have a touch over 22k in savings.

In an attempt to control me yet again, my mothers husband has offered to pay my 4 year college tution including room and board, to any one of the 3 colleges i was accepted at, 1 Locally, (LSU) 1 in TX (A&M) and one in upstate NY (Cornell)
But there are stipulations, I must maintain an A B Average, not hard, and I must refrain from all future contact with Bio-dad, and must keep his last name. He has also offered to pay first year all expenses and give an "allowance" so that i didnt have to work and could get settled into a college life routin, get accustomed to the work load.

Now for the advice, I feel that I am entitled to, ( well more like he owes me for what he has done to me) the college tution. But morally i probably shouldnt accept as I have no plans to sever ties with bio-dad. That being said, if i dont go through with the adult adoption I would not get student loans, as I wouldnt qualify with his income. and I am smart enough to know that 22K will not cover a 4 year college.

I was thinking of taking him up on the offer and going upstate, away from everyone and try being my own "kept" man. Getting away from both sides and hoping 4 years will lift this fog off my head. I know I do not want to carry on with the rest of my life with his name. But I also dont want to work at entry level for life and never amount to anything.

I am really confused and looking for educated non biased advice from perfect strangers.

Also, if he did pay for year one of college, and finds out i am in communication with my bio-dad, can he withdraw the tution already paid? I know this isnt a legal question, just wondering if any of you have gone through that specific experience or know some who has.

Thank you for any help you can give in this regard.

My response:

Where is your "legal" question?

We can't help you with a personal "life decision."

IAAL

[xylene]

Is an emotional meat grinder.

It is very cold, in terms of temperature and attitude.

You did not specify your program, but they range is from very competitive to ULTRA, backstabbingly competititive.

Tuition paid is PAID. Your "mothers husband" could burn you next semester however....

Cornell has decent support, and you may find aid options.

Do not expect them to solve your problems.

Do it.

PS- Not working during college, even freshman year, is the WORST thing in the world. Take the allowance and work too.

Ithaca is awesome.