Not Proud

[kfrench1]

undefinedWhat is the name of your state? FL.
Hello, I am not proud of my actions. But i wouldnt change them. But i had a one night stand with a man, while i was engaged to be married to another. I just happened to get pregnant. I didnt know which man was the father of my child . We married a few months later. The pregnancy was rough. and in Oct.'99 We had a beautiful son.We had no doubt that it was his. We both signed the birth cert. A few months past and it started to get rocky. One of his friends had a woman that he was with that had a child, they found out it was'nt his by a dna test. Then he was gung ho about getting a dna test done now after 5-6 mo. I didnt understand and i refused the test. One morning i got up and he and my child where gone. He had taken him to get the test done with out me.
Well this just stirred the pot. I was pissed. I know that i was wrong in not telling him of the one night stand, but him doing this behind my back was heart breaking. So i called my mom and the baby and i left. He got the results of the dna test and they say that he was'nt the father. I think we both where crushed. Then he filed for divorce. On grounds of the child not being his. I signed the paper work. and that was that. Then about 3-4 mo. later he wanted to try again. So i went back. We tried for a second time. But the fellings where still hard to get over. So i left again. This time it was about a year then he wanted to see if it would work. I explained to him that we can't do this to the baby. He is not going to understand,this man in and out of his life,but dumb me we went for a visit. And then we came back home . We cont. phone conversations all along. We both have come to the conclusion that we cant be together.So the question is ... Can i still make him pay for the child? or get his name off the birth cert?

[kcchiefs]

How would you feel about having to support a child that's not even yours? That's after being deceived to make you think it's yours....
Think about it and then answer your own question!

[geminiibaby]

Well ..First of all why would you even think that he should pay child support for a child that is not his? What is wrong with this picture. If he is willing to still help you with the baby then fine that is his decision, but I would not force him too...You made the mistake not him..It is not his responsibility to support a child that is in deed not his..but like i said if he is willing, for the well being of the child then tht is his decision. As for taking his name off the birth certificate, well that would be up to him also...you relly should have no choice int he matter.. If he wants to remove his name, then so be it and if he wants to support the child then so be it..let the decision be his, not yours...But I think you need to take a long hard look at the careless mistake you have made, and i am not condeming for that, so please dont take me wrong..but think a bout the babies future...is the real father going to be a part of the babies life?..theres alot to look at...mainly the babies furture not yours...so like i stated let him be the decision maker in this case...Its only fair to him and the baby....good luck

Originally Posted by kfrench1

undefinedWhat is the name of


your state? FL.
Hello, I am not proud of my actions. But i wouldnt change them. But i had a one night stand with a man, while i was engaged to be married to another. I just happened to get pregnant. I didnt know which man was the father of my child . We married a few months later. The pregnancy was rough. and in Oct.'99 We had a beautiful son.We had no doubt that it was his. We both signed the birth cert. A few months past and it started to get rocky. One of his friends had a woman that he was with that had a child, they found out it was'nt his by a dna test. Then he was gung ho about getting a dna test done now after 5-6 mo. I didnt understand and i refused the test. One morning i got up and he and my child where gone. He had taken him to get the test done with out me.
Well this just stirred the pot. I was pissed. I know that i was wrong in not telling him of the one night stand, but him doing this behind my back was heart breaking. So i called my mom and the baby and i left. He got the results of the dna test and they say that he was'nt the father. I think we both where crushed. Then he filed for divorce. On grounds of the child not being his. I signed the paper work. and that was that. Then about 3-4 mo. later he wanted to try again. So i went back. We tried for a second time. But the fellings where still hard to get over. So i left again. This time it was about a year then he wanted to see if it would work. I explained to him that we can't do this to the baby. He is not going to understand,this man in and out of his life,but dumb me we went for a visit. And then we came back home . We cont. phone conversations all along. We both have come to the conclusion that we cant be together.So the question is ... Can i still make him pay for the child? or get his name off the birth cert?

[Rhubarb297]

Originally Posted by kcchiefs

How would you feel about having to support a child that's not even yours? That's after being deceived to make you think it's yours....
Think about it and then answer your own question!

In Indiana, a case came up where a man had for years paid child support for a child that wasn't his. When he found out he wasn't the child's father he went to court to get the support order revoked. It went all the way to the Indiana Supreme Court. Unbelievably they ruled that the man must continue paying child support. The theory was that child support is based on the "best interests of the child" and it was the "best interests of the child" that the support continue as it had for years, even though the man had not fathered the child.

But I agree...the whole notion of the man being required to pay for a child who is not his is outrageous.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Rhubarb297

In Indiana, a case came up where a man had for years paid child support for a child that wasn't his. When he found out he wasn't the child's father he went to court to get the support order revoked. It went all the way to the Indiana Supreme Court. Unbelievably they ruled that the man must continue paying child support. The theory was that child support is based on the "best interests of the child" and it was the "best interests of the child" that the support continue as it had for years, even though the man had not fathered the child.

But I agree...the whole notion of the man being required to pay for a child who is not his is outrageous.

That has happened in more states than just Indiana. However it really wouldn't apply in this case. The difference is that the husband found out he was not the father while the child was still a baby. In the case you are referring to in Indiana (and similar cases nationwide) the father was the legal father for many years before discovering that he wasn't the biological father.

There are also dad's who successfully have fought to RETAIN legal fatherhood in similar situations.

[kat1963]

M.A.F. v. G.L.K., 573 So. 2d 862 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 1991), the Florida District Court of Appeal "… ruling that the wife's concealment of the husband's nonpaternity constituted extrinsic fraud. The appellate court affirmed"

Florida Supreme Court: ".. a person has no legal duty to provide support for a minor child who is neither his natural nor his adopted child and for whose care and support he has not contracted.."

Be glad he hasn't sued you in civil court...yet. See a lawyer & assist your victim in removing his name from the birth certificate.

KAT

[kfrench1]

FL..
Well thanks for all the Insults. I was just asking a question. He was the one asking about paying child support. Because he is still the "LEGAL" father to my son, even though we are divorced. I have moved on with my life and plan to get married again. The man i am going to marry wants to adopt my son, and be his father since he has been for 3 years now. Now I am just looking to get my EX taken off the birth cert. And have my fiancee adopt him as his own. So i guess the new question is how do i do that? Get him taken off the birth cert. does he have to agree to doing it and is there a special form? And if you have nothing nice to say DON'T REPLY..

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by kfrench1

FL..
Well thanks for all the Insults. I was just asking a question. He was the one asking about paying child support. Because he is still the "LEGAL" father to my son, even though we are divorced. I have moved on with my life and plan to get married again. The man i am going to marry wants to adopt my son, and be his father since he has been for 3 years now. Now I am just looking to get my EX taken off the birth cert. And have my fiancee adopt him as his own. So i guess the new question is how do i do that? Get him taken off the birth cert. does he have to agree to doing it and is there a special form? And if you have nothing nice to say DON'T REPLY..

You sure have a funny way of asking for help, don'tcha?

[kfrench1]

Yeah i do.. can you help?

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by kfrench1

FL..
Well thanks for all the Insults. I was just asking a question. He was the one asking about paying child support. Because he is still the "LEGAL" father to my son, even though we are divorced. I have moved on with my life and plan to get married again. The man i am going to marry wants to adopt my son, and be his father since he has been for 3 years now. Now I am just looking to get my EX taken off the birth cert. And have my fiancee adopt him as his own. So i guess the new question is how do i do that? Get him taken off the birth cert. does he have to agree to doing it and is there a special form? And if you have nothing nice to say DON'T REPLY..

He is legally the father, thanks to your deception. That means he is pretty much on the hook for support and should be receiving visitation (personal opinion - he should have custody). Your fiance cannot adopt him - you would have to be married, and usually for some length of time (a year is a decent ballpark). And no, you can't do it w/o the FATHER's consent.

[kfrench1]

We are planning on getting married, and he (my fiancee)has taken over as his father for the past 3 plus years.And why do you feel that he should have custody. He has not provided anything for support in the past years. And i am sure he would gladly give up the right's to my son. He is just worried because he is still the legal father and i can make him pay support, but had no thoughts of doing so. I just want him off the birth cert. So he has no rights to my child.

[Wolflmg]

Originally Posted by kfrench1

We are planning on getting married, and he (my fiancee)has taken over as his father for the past 3 plus years.And why do you feel that he should have custody. He has not provided anything for support in the past years. And i am sure he would gladly give up the right's to my son. He is just worried because he is still the legal father and i can make him pay support, but had no thoughts of doing so. I just want him off the birth cert. So he has no rights to my child.

First questin although your fiancee has been acting father to your kid, does not mean he can adapt him right away. You need to be married first, that the legal way.
For you second question you need to go to your x and ask him to give up his right as the childs father, if he so chooses.

[stealth2]

Why do I think he should have custody? Because of your actions.

[kfrench1]

My actions huh.. Well my actions have made me stronger, and enabled me to move on with my life , raise my son, with no help what so ever from him.(might i add) And your opinion is for him to have custody? I dont think so. He is worthless.. I am almost glad he is NOT his father of my child. And secondly My fiance is more of a father then he would ever be. So If you have legal advice, I would like to hear it. If not, thanks for your time.

[stealth2]

I've given you legal advice. You will need Dad's consent for the child to be adopted.

You should also be aware that Dad was not legally required to support the child until and unless there was a support order. Does it surprise you that he'd be pissed off that you deceived him?