Obtaining Harassment Protection Order on Behalf of my minor children.

[MomInNE]

What is the name of your state? NE

I have a question about obtaining harassment Protection Order on Behalf of my minor children.

My husband and I have been married for 5 years we have two children together and we each have a child from previous relationships. My husband and I get along with my daughter's biological father & stepmother. The problem is with my stepdaughter's biological mother.
Since 2002 there has been several times that the mom has caused conflict in front of our children. Screaming, Yelling and trying to argue with us. We have closed and locked our front door, but she still does not leave. She will knock on our door, ring the doorbell and yell.
I have two police reports from when it got really bad. The police showed up and made her leave. One from Sept. 30, 2004 and one from Jan. 3, 2005.

I also have witnesses to other times my husbands ex has caused a huge conflict in front of our children at our home or at my parents home. (My parents and my neighbors)

After the last police report on Jan 3, 2005. My husbands ex did not cause any conflicts when dropping off or picking up her daughter.

Things were fine until the summer of 2006. After several incidents with my stepdaughter harming my younger children (ages 2 and 3 years old) and refusing to listen to me, I declined my offer to watch my stepdaughter all day when her dad and mom were working and she was not in school.
Since August the ex has started making things difficult once again.
Confronting me in front of my children at my home and at my children's activities, when she is dropping off or picking up her daughter.

Today, I have had enough. The Ex dropped off her daughter at our home and she caused yet another conflict. Once my stepdaughter entered our home I shut the door. The ex proceeded to knock, ring the doorbell and yell through our door.

My Husband and his ex clearly do not get along, My husband has asked his ex several times to please keep communication between them by using the phone, email, fax or mail.

My children are 2, 3 and 14 years old. My stepdaughter is 9 years old.

I'm sick and tired of them being witness to this behavior from their sister's mom.
My younger children cry when she causes these conflicts and my older daughter is stressed out about it.
I would like for the ex to drop off her daughter on her days to drop off and leave. This is what we do, we make sure she goes inside her moms house and we drive off.
When picking her daughter up on her days to pick up, their daughter is always ready to go and walks out of the door when her mom pulls up into our driveway. When my husband picks up, it's usually at his daughter school or daycare.
I understand this is also stressful for my stepdaughter, But I do not have control or any say over what she is exposed to. I have my opinion, but no legal rights.
.
Do I have a chance in obtaining a Harassment Protection order on behave of my children?

I have 3 witnesses that will testify on my behalf. .

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by MomInNE

Do I have a chance in obtaining a Harassment Protection order on behave of my children?

No, because she's not harassing your children. They are only witnesses to her bad behaviour. A restraining order to keep her away from you isn't a good option at this point because you are married to the father of her child and there IS going to be incidental contact that really can't be avoided. One very simple solution would be modifying the custody/visitation agreement so that your husband and his ex meet at a neutral location to exchange the child for visitation or dad could drop the child off at mom's.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by ceara19

No, because she's not harassing your children. They are only witnesses to her bad behaviour. A restraining order to keep her away from you isn't a good option at this point because you are married to the father of her child and there IS going to be incidental contact that really can't be avoided. One very simple solution would be modifying the custody/visitation agreement so that your husband and his ex meet at a neutral location to exchange the child for visitation or dad could drop the child off at mom's.

Or even try to change the schedule so that all exchanges take place at school or daycare....that won't work once she no longer needs daycare, but it may help in the interim.

[MomInNE]

Both are very good advice,
The only problem is, we are dealing with a woman who is a crazy and a control freak. Trying to change anything will end us up in a huge legal battle. This will also cause the conflicts to get worse.
Mediation never accomplishes anything. My husband is willing to compromise, but his ex is not. She will fight over anything, just to fight about it.
A huge legal battle is just not an option for us. We are tired of the fighting and arguing.

I guess I'm looking for something I can do to protect my children from growing up being exposed to this. This woman disturbs our peace in our home and terrifies my two younger children when she starts yelling, screaming through our closed front door.
It is also embarrassing when she does this in public at one of my children's activities.
My husband is there too and we ignore her for the most part. But after 5 years, enough is enough.
We've been through the ringer with this woman and her new husband.
I just want my children to not have to be exposed to this. It can not be healthy for them.

Can I keep calling the police every time she is disturbing the peace at our home?
Is this an option?

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by MomInNE

Both are very good advice,
The only problem is, we are dealing with a woman who is a crazy and a control freak. Trying to change anything will end us up in a huge legal battle. This will also cause the conflicts to get worse.
Mediation never accomplishes anything. My husband is willing to compromise, but his ex is not. She will fight over anything, just to fight about it.
A huge legal battle is just not an option for us. We are tired of the fighting and arguing.

I guess I'm looking for something I can do to protect my children from growing up being exposed to this. This woman disturbs our peace in our home and terrifies my two younger children when she starts yelling, screaming through our closed front door.
It is also embarrassing when she does this in public at one of my children's activities.
My husband is there too and we ignore her for the most part. But after 5 years, enough is enough.
We've been through the ringer with this woman and her new husband.
I just want my children to not have to be exposed to this. It can not be healthy for them.

Can I keep calling the police every time she is disturbing the peace at our home?
Is this an option?

It's an option, but not a very good one. Why don't you take the kids out to the park when the ex shows up to pick up the child instead? A court is not going to allow a change in where the child is picked up at to become a long drawn out argument.

[MomInNE]

My husband is going to ask his ex to make the pick up and drop off place at a public place or another family members home that do not have children.
I don't feel I have to leave my home because of someone elses behavior, escpecially in the winter. (We live in Nebraska) When we have good weather it would not be a problem to take my kids else where.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by MomInNE

My husband is going to ask his ex to make the pick up and drop off place at a public place or another family members home that do not have children.
I don't feel I have to leave my home because of someone elses behavior, escpecially in the winter. (We live in Nebraska) When we have good weather it would not be a problem to take my kids else where.

What? People in Nebraska don't run out to the market? To the mall? To BK? It's a simple and practical solution.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by MomInNE

My husband is going to ask his ex to make the pick up and drop off place at a public place or another family members home that do not have children.
I don't feel I have to leave my home because of someone elses behavior, escpecially in the winter. (We live in Nebraska) When we have good weather it would not be a problem to take my kids else where.

I don't disagree with the fact that you shouldn't be forced to leave. However, if it is the best option to keep the peace, you should do it for the sake of YOUR children, at least until another option presents itself. As parents, we all do many things we don't necessarily WANT to do. I really didn't WANT 20 squealing 10-12 year old girls running through my house, getting into everything and making an ENORMOUS mess that took days to clean up, but it made my daughter tremendously happy.