Odd Question: Childs father has had no contact in 7 years

What is the name of your state? Michigan


7 years ago, my daughter was born. Her 'sperm donor' has had no contact since then. I've heard from 2 completly seperate sources that if the biological father is out of the picture for 7 years in Michigan, they no longer have the right to come back and try for custody.

I ask because the I've heard that the father has been trying to find us (we moved about 2 hours north when she was 1), and has been telling people that he intends to get visitation rights to a child he's never wanted or helped to support.

Any information would be helpful.

Thanks in advance.


*edited to subscribe to thread*

[stealth2]

I would think that his not knowing where you are might be a factor in whether he could request visitation rights at this point.

Part of why I ask, is because we are considering a move back to my home area at summer's end. I'm married now, and my husband has been in my daughters life since she was about 14 or 15 months, and he's the only father she's ever known.

momma_tiger, thank you for the response, I appreciate it,

[stealth2]

It's possible that you could file to terminate his rights, but if he contests it - and especially if he can show that he's been trying to find the child - you may not have any success.

Well, that's not a comforting thought.

Thank you again.

were you attempting humor her or was he an actual sperm donor at a legitimate sprem bank. there could be a big difference.

but on the assumption that this was an attempt at levity,if this fellow were to take into account that he may be responsible for 7 years of back child support, and related medical expenses. he might decide he doesn't really want to find you at all.
i would say see an attorney quick and ask about abandonment of the child,and severing his rights.

[stealth2]

Originally posted by brake pedal
if this fellow were to take into account that he may be responsible for 7 years of back child support, and related medical expenses. he might decide he doesn't really want to find you at all.

This assumes that there was a support order in place - I haven't read anything that says there was.

By Sperm Donor, I mean, we had sex, I got his sperm, and that's the only way I refer to him as. He's not her father, he hasn't earned that right.

Now, as for child support, there was no order. Heck, he was never even listed on her birth certificate.

[stealth2]

Be very careful using that terminology should you get into court - either for terminating his rights or especially if he chooses to go for visitation. Especially coupled with your having moved and not giving him contact info - it's something that could come back and bite you.

I would be, if he actually enters my childs life, things would change. However, I'm not worried about not having provided him with contact info. When we moved, my daughter was 16 months old, and he had only attempted to contact me 1 time, and she was like 2 months old at the time.

He wanted visitation rights, I told him to go through the courts, and told him I would request a blood test, regardless of how bad it would make me look. We both knew he was the father without a doubt, but the lawyer I had talked back then said he would be required to pay for the blood tests. So, I told him that, then told him he would have to win visitiation rights from the courts. Basically, he wanted to come pick her up right then and there, no support, nothing at all. My thought then, and still, was that he wouldn't have returned her if I had done that.

He turned and ran hearing that he would be required to pay so much for the tests, and then still pay support. I haven't heard from him since.

[VeronicaGia]

So you forced him to fight for his undeniable rights and now you call him a sperm donor.

Also, support and visitation are two separate issues. You cannot deny him visitation if he does not pay support; he cannot stop paying support if you deny him visitation. You virtually told him he had to pay to see his child. I wonder how you would have felt if he had taken the baby, called you an egg donor, and told you to go fight for what is rightfully yours?

He has every right to see his child. It's just too bad he has to fight in court to do it, or "win that right in court" as you put it.

Ok, for starters, he left me after we found out I was pregnant. Then, only when he wanted her, did he show up. If he had wanted her bad enough, he could have called more than 1 time the 16 months we lived at the same place, with the same number, don't you think? He took off when I was around 4 months pregnant, with no call, and no contact in that entire time.

I didn't deny him anything, but I sure as hell wasn't sending my baby off for the weekend with a man I knew would do anything in his power to take her from me illegally. He wasn't on the birth certificate, and still isn't, so I don't really feel bad that he lost out on the time with her.

Honestly, if I had felt at the time that he actually wanted her because she was his daughter, and not just because it would hurt me, then he would have been allowed to see her once he asked.

After that one time, he never asked again, never mentioned her, and outright told my friends he wasn't her father, so go ahead and lambaste me over what he failed to do.

In my mind, yes, he was a sperm donor, and nothing more. As far as I am concerned, he's lost the right to anything more. Just because he's suddenly deciding to try and be apart of her life doesn't mean that she, I, or my husband want him there.

All I want to know, is if he has a leg to stand on after all that, not what your personal oppinion of how I handled it (as a 17 year old single mom, mind you) back 7 years ago.

[djohnson]

I am with you all the way and think you have done the right things. I would have my husband file to adopt. The real father would have to be notified and he could either give up his rights or fight for visitation in which case you could fight for child support for the next 9 years at least. I don't think he would be willing to fight to hard. It sounds like your husband is the only father she has known and adoption wouldn't be a problem. That way you would never have to worry about it again. He can take you to court for visitation. He would have to prove you unfit to take full custody at this point and I don't think with the way this sounds he could do that. Good Luck.

I agree with the poster. I am a very involved father of 2. But I do not believe every father has a right to children just like not every mother has a right to there children. I think everyones situation is different and if you want to be a mother or father you have to prove it to your children.

[nailtech]

Gilly, if he was never ordered by the courts to have visitation or pay child support then you did the right thing by not giving him the child to run off with was right thing to do in my eyes... who would give their child to a perfect stranger just because the threatened to fight for visitation rights, theres no proof as of yet he is the father other then the mothers word... and to the child he is a perfect stranger... why would he want to fight for the child now? I agree with the poster in your husband adopting the child (if he wants to) and severing the ties with the "father" yes he is a father, he's just not the daddy...

like the saying goes, any man can be a father but it takes one hell of a man to be a daddy...