Promise Ring

[Beanda]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was wondering what the law is reguarding the return of a promise ring. My daughter recieved one two years ago and they broke up a couple weeks ago. She said she just needed a break, he flipped out and and "says no one has breaks, it's a break up". At first he said to keep it, because he owes her $105.00 dollars. Now that my daughter has a new "friend" he is threatening to take her to court for the ring. Can he do this?

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was wondering what the law is reguarding the return of a promise ring. My daughter recieved one two years ago and they broke up a couple weeks ago. She said she just needed a break, he flipped out and and "says no one has breaks, it's a break up". At first he said to keep it, because he owes her $105.00 dollars. Now that my daughter has a new "friend" he is threatening to take her to court for the ring. Can he do this?

It was a gift. Let him rant, he'll get nowhere fast.

[nextwife]

Miss Manners would say that, if SHE broke up, then she should indeed offer to return the ring.

[Antigone*]

Miss Manners would say that, if SHE broke up, then she should indeed offer to return the ring.

... and I'd be telling Miss Manners to pound sand

[Beanda]

I completely agrre with Miss Manners, however if we are being technical, he broke up with her. She wanted a break/space, he is very clingy. He said "breaks don't work so I guess we are broken up then" so she agreed. He has been back and forth as far as the ring. One minute he says keep it then he gets ticked off at her then he wants it back. But my question was this "can he take her to court for it?" And would he win?

[Antigone*]

I completely agrre with Miss Manners, however if we are being technical, he broke up with her. She wanted a break/space, he is very clingy. He said "breaks don't work so I guess we are broken up then" so she agreed. He has been back and forth as far as the ring. One minute he says keep it then he gets ticked off at her then he wants it back. But my question was this "can he take her to court for it?" And would he win?

This guy has the option to take this to court ~ it is his right. He can pay the fees and have her served. She would need to present herself in court and defend herself.

Her defense is quite simple. It was a gift. It is not an engagement ring and there is no law that states a promise ring has to be returned.

[happybug]

He paid $105 for the ring, at jewelry resale rates the thing is probably worth $15. They are no longer together and your daughter is dating someone new. Why is it so important to her to keep it? I agree with the others that she doesn't have to give it back but wouldn't it make her life so much easier to give it back and be rid of her ex-boyfriend?

[Beanda]

He paid a bit more than $105 for the ring. That is the amount he owes her on her credit card. The ring was close to $1000.00. He gave it to her ( I failed to mention earlier) as a High School graduation gift as well. So I still think she should keep it.

[Proserpina]

He paid a bit more than $105 for the ring. That is the amount he owes her on her credit card. The ring was close to $1000.00. He gave it to her ( I failed to mention earlier) as a High School graduation gift as well. So I still think she should keep it.

It's still a gift, legally. Still, is there any chance at all he can prove that the ring was given in anticipation of an engagement? (it's reaching, I know - but people will try the weirdest things).

And yeah, I do wonder what the heck he's doing buying a high-school girlfriend a $1000 ring to begin with....

[proud_parent]

And yeah, I do wonder what the heck he's doing buying a high-school girlfriend a $1000 ring to begin with....

...or what a high school girl was thinking when she accepted such a gift from a young man.

[nextwife]

It's still a gift, legally. Still, is there any chance at all he can prove that the ring was given in anticipation of an engagement? (it's reaching, I know - but people will try the weirdest things).

And yeah, I do wonder what the heck he's doing buying a high-school girlfriend a $1000 ring to begin with....

Ok, guys, what exactly do you think a "Promise Ring is?

It's NOT reaching to state it was a gift in anticipation of marriage. Even Mom is CALLING it a "Promise" ring! That means a promise is implied. These are also called pre-engagement rings. As such, if an engagement (or pre engagement) is canceled, the "promise breaker" should really return the ring.

There is a reason these are called Promise rings. (I spent my college years selling fine jewelry, a Promise ring has no other purpose than as a pre engagment ring, a promise to get engaged)

[Blue Meanie]

I completely agrre with Miss Manners, however if we are being technical, he broke up with her. She wanted a break/space, he is very clingy. He said "breaks don't work so I guess we are broken up then" so she agreed. He has been back and forth as far as the ring. One minute he says keep it then he gets ticked off at her then he wants it back. But my question was this "can he take her to court for it?" And would he win?

A "Promise" ring is a conditional gift. The condition is marriage. They are not marrying, so the ring should be returned. Tell your daughter to file a small claims for the money he owes her.

[Proserpina]

Ok, guys, what exactly do you think a "Promise Ring is?

It's NOT reaching to state it was a gift in anticipation of marriage. Even Mom is CALLING it a "Promise" ring! That means a promise is implied. These are also called pre-engagement rings. As such, if an engagement (or pre engagement) is canceled, the "promise breaker" should really return the ring.

There is a reason these are called Promise rings. (I spent my college years selling fine jewelry, a Promise ring has no other purpose than as a pre engagment ring, a promise to get engaged)

(Thank you for clarifying that!)

How old was the girl when this ring was given? (I'm not sure whether "high school" would mean she's 17, 18 or what)

Was she able to enter into a contract?

[happybug]

(Thank you for clarifying that!)

How old was the girl when this ring was given? (I'm not sure whether "high school" would mean she's 17, 18 or what)

Was she able to enter into a contract?

I'm going to guess at least 18 since the ring was put on HER credit card. Which seems a bit sad. Obviously, he couldn't afford it. Who would accept a gift ( and plunk their own card down to boot ) under those circumstances? And if she Graduated this year, she sure managed to unload him pretty quickly after accepting a large gift he couldn't afford.