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Question about indiana parenting guidelines

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halbbd01

Guest
What is the name of your state? INDIANA

We have given the children's father extended time beyond the guidelines, IE he gets them overnight on this Wed. visitation twice a week and I've given in other manners as well. I let him take them whenever there is a special circumstance, etc.

However, I do not want to grant him 4 weeks during the year away from my children if I don't have to. Below is what the guidelines say. Is he entitled to 4 if he asks for it? Do I have any say? Can I just let him have them 2 weeks and continue the extra parenting time on Wed? I work full time and everytime he gets more time it bothers me because it takes away from my time with the children.

I have twins, they're 3 and I have sole custody.

2. Extended Parenting Time (Child 3 through 4 Years Old)

Up to four (4) non-consecutive weeks during the year beginning at 4:00 P.M. on Sunday until 4:00 P.M. on the following Sunday, the non-custodial parent to give sixty (60) days advance notice of the use of a particular week.
 


nextwife

Senior Member
Do you have a court order for visitation. Is what you wrote what is in your visiation court order?

"However, I do not want to grant him 4 weeks during the year away from my children if I don't have to.."

If it is in the CO, YES, you must grant it AND

They are his children too! You get them the other 48 weeks of the year, you begrudge him a lousy little four weeks with his own kids? You get most all weeknights, you think him getting one or two nights in a given week is being so magnanimous?

Look, it is to your children's benefit to also have a relationship with their father. You and the father are are doing this visitation for them, not for you.
 
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halbbd01

Guest
The court order says to follow the indiana parenting guidelines.

I didn't really ask for your opinion on whether or not he should get them. I asked for clarification of the wording.

and yes, it is a big deal that I gave him that extra time because he NEVER works with me on anything. Why do you think the judge gave me sole custody?

I don't get most of all weekends either. I get exactly half of he weekends and I work 45 hrs a week to support these kids so every minute is precious.

Lastly, considering that the father abused the children and curses me out in front of them, tells them to call me cunt, etc., I find it a little hard to see your comment about how valuable their time with their father is and how I should give up MY time with them whenever there is a hint that he could have them in the guidelines.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Then, If he gives you the 60 day notice in accordance with the guidelines, you must give him the week of notice. Up to 4 non-consecutive.
 

haiku

Senior Member
its not about your time or his time, its THIER time.

If he requests the weeks properly per the guidelines, you are obligated per your court order to give them to him. If he does not ask you are off the hook.

You are not obligated to deviate from the guidelines, but if you have been and stop, he could, if he was on the ball, and wanted to, take you to court and ask to have those extra days added to your parenting agreement, being as you had set precedent for him to have them.

Other than that you must follow what is written in the court order or face possible contempt charges.

Oh and your last paragraph? unless you have solid proof of such things, they have no bearing on your question.
 
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halbbd01

Guest
haiku said:
its not about your time or his time, its THIER time.

If he requests the weeks properly per the guidelines, you are obligated per your court order to give them to him. If he does not ask you are off the hook.


You guys are too busy judging me to answer the simple question. :) It says UP to 4 weeks. Who decides if it's 4 or if it's less?

You are not obligated to deviate from the guidelines, but if you have been and stop, he could, if he was on the ball, and wanted to, take you to court and ask to have those extra days added to your parenting agreement, being as you had set precedent for him to have them.
That's ok. I have to choose my battles. :)

er than that you must follow what is written in the court order or face possible contempt charges.

Oh and your last paragraph? unless you have solid proof of such things, they have no bearing on your question.
Well, considering the police came out and he had to take counseling, um yeah. :) It sure as hell does have bearing to me. I don't like the environment over there.
 

haiku

Senior Member
No I am not judging, just calling it like you wrote it. Take the free advice or not...

Its says "up to 4 weeks"? than he is entitled to 4 weeks if thats what he wants.

'up to' usually means he COULD take 1 or 2 but no more than 4, and is entitled to 4 if he so chooses.

And YES the last paragraph has no meaning until you do something and prove it, and have a court order to back it up.
 
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halbbd01

Guest
Ok, that's much more clear. Thanks.

You're commenting on the other in terms of the court. I'm stating why I don't like the kids there. i don't need a court order to not like sending my kids somewhere. :)

If the guidelines don't require the 4, i wouldnt' give the four. I'd try to find middle ground.

BUT, if it means he gets four, then that's what he'll get.
 

haiku

Senior Member
halbbd01 said:
Ok, that's much more clear. Thanks.

You're commenting on the other in terms of the court. I'm stating why I don't like the kids there. i don't need a court order to not like sending my kids somewhere. :)

.
cool but just remember you need a court order to NOT send your kids somewhere you don't like...;) And because I don't want to be responsible for getting someone in trouble with thier most precious posessions, I like to make that clear.

peace.
 
H

halbbd01

Guest
haiku said:
cool but just remember you need a court order to NOT send your kids somewhere you don't like...;) And because I don't want to be responsible for getting someone in trouble with thier most precious posessions, I like to make that clear.

peace.
I totally understand. That's why I was here asking about the "up to four" part because I didn't want to going against the court. He's pulled me into court before for contempt and I'm sure he'd try again if he had a chance.

Although every time he's done so he ended up paying my fees because i try to follow the guidelines exactly.

Thanks again.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
I am also from Indiana with a CO for sole custody and visitation going by guidelines so I want to say something. Just because you got sole custody it means nothing about what kind of parent he is. I never asked for sole custody of my children and an Indiana judge granted it to me. Granted I have a long story with a deadbeat for an ex but the judge had no way of knowing that when she granted custody.

And as stated, the guidelines say UP TO 4 weeks which means if he wants those 4 weeks he can have them and you have to grant them. I recommend that if you are uncomfortable with him having the children that you go completely by the guidelines and not offer any more time. This is not something that I generally recommend but you will be coming back here later when he's taking you to court to get more time and youdon't want him to have it yet you've already given him more time then the guidelines.
 
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halbbd01

Guest
I don't see why you even bothered to post the first paragraph. What is your point?

I give him some extra time now and then when he's being reasonable, which is a rare occasion.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
halbbd01 said:
and yes, it is a big deal that I gave him that extra time because he NEVER works with me on anything. Why do you think the judge gave me sole custody?
that was the point of my first paragraph. It's the point that just because you got sole custody it doesn't mean anything about him. In fact if you search the net you will find where this is happening ALL over and there are fights about it.
 

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