A question about my brother

[peony77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX/MD

I am writing this on behalf of my 19 yr old brother. Our father is a sociopath who has verbally and emotionally abused us for years. He has a knack for manipulating us into believing things that never happened, convincing us that we are a cancer on his family, and bribing judges to get what he wants (no joke). He signed over guardianship of me to my mother when I was 16 (I am now 25) as I was preparing to sue him for my own custody (long story). My other brother (now 23) also quit seeing our dad around 16 because my father was threatening to throw him into a mental institution, though my brother is not crazy. My father and his wife are horrible people and if I could, I would take them to court for abuse, though since they never hit me, it wouldn't go very far.

At any rate, my mother moved to MD a few years ago for a job and my youngest brother chose to stay in our hometown in TX so he could finish high school with his friends. My father continually ignored him and put him down, but my brother persevered and got into an excellent college that is, unfortunately, very expensive. He has worked very hard to get where he is and has been pretty much the perfect child all his life.

It was understood that once my brother got into college, my father would pay half of the tuition. As a highly successful surgeon, my father is very well-off and because of this, my brother was not eligible for aid of any kind. My mother works very hard but does not make enough money to cover the cost of tuition, as she has already spent a significant amount of money putting me through school (and I have loans as well and qualified for financial aid since my father had no legal ties to me), something I am very grateful for.

Right before my brother left for school, my father announced that he "didn't feel like paying tuition." He said he would cosign on a loan with my brother but once he realized that he would have to tell the bank how much money he has, he refused and paid his half of the first semester of tution. As of a few days ago, my father sent my brother a text message telling him "good luck with getting a loan next semester." That is the extent of his contact with my brother since he went to college, though my brother has tried to contact him many times.

I apologize for the length of this post. It is quite complicated. My question is, is there any way to exclude my father from my brother's financial information legally? Since he is legally an adult at 19 years old, could he claim himself as an independent? Could my mother claim him as a dependent and completely exclude my father? The school is telling us that my brother might have to work for 2 years before claiming himself an independent individual. We are desperate and with the economy the way it is, finding a loan is next to impossible. This kid deserves every chance he can get and pulling him from school would be terrible. Is it avoidable?

As a side note, I had to think very hard about posting this as I am terrified that my father will find it and somehow use it against us. It has happened before. Please help.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by peony77

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX/MD

I am writing this on behalf of my 19 yr old brother. Our father is a sociopath who has verbally and emotionally abused us for years. He has a knack for manipulating us into believing things that never happened, convincing us that we are a cancer on his family, and bribing judges to get what he wants (no joke). He signed over guardianship of me to my mother when I was 16 (I am now 25) as I was preparing to sue him for my own custody (long story). My other brother (now 23) also quit seeing our dad around 16 because my father was threatening to throw him into a mental institution, though my brother is not crazy. My father and his wife are horrible people and if I could, I would take them to court for abuse, though since they never hit me, it wouldn't go very far.

At any rate, my mother moved to MD a few years ago for a job and my youngest brother chose to stay in our hometown in TX so he could finish high school with his friends. My father continually ignored him and put him down, but my brother persevered and got into an excellent college that is, unfortunately, very expensive. He has worked very hard to get where he is and has been pretty much the perfect child all his life.

It was understood that once my brother got into college, my father would pay half of the tuition. As a highly successful surgeon, my father is very well-off and because of this, my brother was not eligible for aid of any kind. My mother works very hard but does not make enough money to cover the cost of tuition, as she has already spent a significant amount of money putting me through school (and I have loans as well and qualified for financial aid since my father had no legal ties to me), something I am very grateful for.

Right before my brother left for school, my father announced that he "didn't feel like paying tuition." He said he would cosign on a loan with my brother but once he realized that he would have to tell the bank how much money he has, he refused and paid his half of the first semester of tution. As of a few days ago, my father sent my brother a text message telling him "good luck with getting a loan next semester." That is the extent of his contact with my brother since he went to college, though my brother has tried to contact him many times.

I apologize for the length of this post. It is quite complicated. My question is, is there any way to exclude my father from my brother's financial information legally? Since he is legally an adult at 19 years old, could he claim himself as an independent? Could my mother claim him as a dependent and completely exclude my father? The school is telling us that my brother might have to work for 2 years before claiming himself an independent individual. We are desperate and with the economy the way it is, finding a loan is next to impossible. This kid deserves every chance he can get and pulling him from school would be terrible. Is it avoidable?

As a side note, I had to think very hard about posting this as I am terrified that my father will find it and somehow use it against us. It has happened before. Please help.

He can use your mother as his parent for student loan purposes. I hate parents who do this to their children. I don't think that a parent is required to help pay for school, but I do think that they have a moral obligation to co-operate with the student loan process.

[peony77]

thank you for your response. i agree, parents are not obligated to pay, but if that is true, they should 1. cooperate and 2. say so from the beginning. My brother is working really hard with his school's financial aid office so hopefully he can just get a loan for the spring semester and apply for financial aid for the next year. Hopefully my dad won't hinder that in some way as he usually has fun with that.

[FarmerJ]

Did your dad have to pay child support to your mom while your mom and he were split up ? ( just curious )