Restraining Order

[kcjonez]

Colorado:

Hi,
I'm kind of at my witts end on this matter and I'm not sure what to do at this point without going to prison for doing something stupid. It's a rather long story, but I'll try to get right to the point without going into too much detail.

My Wife and I were married 3 years ago and although a tad rough around the edges at times, we've done pretty well together...up until about 7 or 8 months ago. I had the classic 'Marriage Horror Story' come true with one of my best friends, whom I had given the shirt off my back waaay too many times to explain here and I completely trusted him, apparently nagging my wife and putting enough rumors about me into her head that they eventually got together. I found out by walking in on them in bed together...

Going way against my natural instincts telling me to immediately cause major bodily harm to this guy, I made my statement and walked out the door.

So, to shorten this, 7 to 8 months later, after a couple attempts on reconciling my Marriage (I do still love my Wife with everything that I am and have many times offered her to put this in the past and work things out), her and I spent the last few days together and everything seemed to be going great! Till someone stops by and tells her this guy needed to talk to her real quick-like. Now she goes straight back to him.

On to my question:

I know the woman still loves me and she doesn't want a divorce...She tells me that as do others that are close to her. I, by no means, want to get divorced! I just want my Wife back. However, with this guy constantly getting in the way, I don't see our reconciliation happening at all.

Someone recently told me that I could get a restraining order placed on him keeping him away from my Wife. Is this possible? I've grown up with the family 'Law' stating you don't call the police about anything...that all matters can be handled other ways. This seems a little too close to calling the police in my opinion, however, taking matters into my own hand won't get my Wife back...it would put me in prison which is a place I do not want to be!

Anyway, that's my sob-story and unfortunately for me, it is a huge sob-story. I've lost 50lbs since this has started and I can't take much more of this. I know I should just file for divorce, but I really don't believe in that and want to do anything I can to avoid it (is Dr. Laura watching?).

Thank you very much in advance and I'll keep checking back for responses.

K.C. Jones
Lost and feeling completely hopeless...

[ceara19]

Your wife is an ADULT. If she wants this guy to leave her alone SHE needs to tell him. If he still persists, SHE may be able to get a restraining order against him. It doesn't sound to me like SHE really wants this man out of her life though. If she did, SHE would have dealt with the matter already.

[kcjonez]

Yes I do know this...but it seems as if she is an adult physically and a child mentally at times. Very influential. I was just hoping to try anything to save my Marriage...not looking too good right now though.

had to ask...

[stealth2]

And you want to be married to a "child" (at least mentally) because..... why?

[garrula lingua]

She doesn't deserve you.

Walk away.

You deserve someone who wants you, above all others. Don't short-change yourself.

Walk away.

You're giving her too many choices, when the choice is yours - walk away.

There is no restraining order you can request, except for you to walk away.

Think - is this a person who will be at your side if you're sick; if you're bankrupt; if you're at the lowest point ? She's not there at the high point .... walk away.

****************************married 38 yrs, since age 17; was stage 4 cancer in 1999; married a saint 38 yrs ago. Walk away. Life brings trials; your spouse should be at your side...

[garrula lingua]

She doesn't deserve you.

Walk away.

You deserve someone who wants you, above all others. Don't short-change yourself.

Walk away.

You're giving her too many choices, when the choice is yours - walk away.

There is no restraining order you can request, except for you to walk away.

Think - is this a person who will be at your side if you're sick; if you're bankrupt; if you're at the lowest point ? She's not there at the high point .... walk away
*******married 38 yrs, since age 17; was stage 4 cancer in 1999; married a saint 38 yrs ago. Walk away. Life brings trials; your spouse should be at your side... if love isn't there when things are easy, where wil they be when rough times hit ?

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by kcjonez

Yes I do know this...but it seems as if she is an adult physically and a child mentally at times. Very influential. I was just hoping to try anything to save my Marriage...not looking too good right now though.

had to ask...

She's manipulating you so that you won't blame HER for HER actions. Her "child-like" mentality is all an act so that she can get away with doing as she pleases and apparently it's working. garrula's right.