Rights of a 13 year old against parents

[Takari]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

Please read the whole thing before posting please.


See, I have a friend. She 13, and is Muslim, and her dad was born in Saudia Arabia, and her mom in America. And she's really scared, cause she's an American, and her dad wants to take her back to Saudia Arabia. Her dad wants to move his family back to Saudia Arabia because he thinks that America is poisoning his children's minds.

But she doesn't want to leave the country, she's an American. And she's really scared, cause she's knows her life will be in danger in Saudia Arabia.

Her dad doesn't know that she's a girl. She was born funny, with a birth defect, that's called transsexualism. And in Saudia Arabia, there are laws which say she can be stoned to death for expressing herself as a girl. But if she told her dad, then he would only want to go to Saudia Arabia more, blaming America for his son thinking that she's a girl.

She wants to know if there is anything at all she can do to get herself like, keep herself from leaving America. She knows she can't be independant, she isn't looking to be emancipated. She wants to know if there's any legal way to like, get her out of her parent's home and get her like into an adoptive home or something.

She can't go to Saudia Arabia, if she goes to Saudia Arabia, she'll be killed, and she's very scared. She thinks that there has to be a way to get out of her parent's house, even though they aren't being physically abusive, because they want to put her in a place where there is reasonable chance of her losing her life, and are putting her in danger.

Please help. Is there anything at all she can do to stay in America, anything at all?

PS: I'm sorry if this is in the wrong forum, I didn't know which one to post it in.

[nextwife]

This is very complicated. Her parents have the right to take their kids, but I understand the risk. I know an adoptive family whose Chinese born child had the same genetic defect (are you referring to Ambiguous Genitalia? [url]http://www.chw.org/display/PPF/Nav/1/DocID/22668/router.asp[/url]),
but they live in FL. and are very well - informed about the issue and dealing with it.

What is her relationship with mom? Would mom fight to stay in the US? Would mom take her to a children's hospital for a consult and diagnosis? Where in IL are they? Milwaukee's Children's Hospital is nationally recognized. It is a shame that the child has not been seeing a medical specialist all along. There are surgical and hormonal interventions that they should have been exploring since birth.

Might it be better to inform dad of her medical condition? What is their relationship?This might impact dad's decision to move.

[Takari]

She doesn't know what her mom will do. And no, she's just a transsexual, it's not like, visably physical. Her dad thinks that transsexuals are nutty and are like, bad people and insane and stuff, so she's knows that won't help. He'd just as likely put her in shock therapy to try and brainwash her out of it. If dad found out about her, he'd want to go to Saudia Arabia more, thinking it's America which did this to her making her think she's a girl.

Mom is a bit more confusing, she doesn't know what her mom will do. But she thinks her mom will downplay the danger and obey what her dad tells her mom to do. Her family is really traditional Muslim, and disobey dad or your husband really isn't a option. Her mom may be willing to take her to a doctor, but her dad will certainly say no, and then her mom will do what dad says.

She lives about a hour outside of Chicago.

She's almost positive that she cannot solve this through talking with her parents, that it will only put her life at greater risk, cause of the way dad doesn't like America so much, he thinks America is a bad sinful place, and he'll think that she's sick because she's in America and want to take her to Saudia Arabia even more.

[baystategirl]

Originally Posted by Takari

She doesn't know what her mom will do. And no, she's just a transsexual, it's not like, visably physical. Her dad thinks that transsexuals are nutty and are like, bad people and insane and stuff, so she's knows that won't help. He'd just as likely put her in shock therapy to try and brainwash her out of it. If dad found out about her, he'd want to go to Saudia Arabia more, thinking it's America which did this to her making her think she's a girl.

Mom is a bit more confusing, she doesn't know what her mom will do. But she thinks her mom will downplay the danger and obey what her dad tells her mom to do. Her family is really traditional Muslim, and disobey dad or your husband really isn't a option. Her mom may be willing to take her to a doctor, but her dad will certainly say no, and the her mom will do what dad says.

She lives about a hour outside of Chicago.

What about Mom's family?

[xylene]

Does your friend have someone at school she can trust to talk about these issues with?

(PS - I mean a trustworthy adult)

[Takari]

Originally Posted by baystategirl

What about Mom's family?

She thinks mom's family might be more accepting, but is concerned that her dad will be refuse to let her live with them if he finds out, and she can only live with them with dad's permission. Unless she's mistaken.

[Takari]

Originally Posted by xylene

Does your friend have someone at school she can trust to talk about these issues with?

(PS - I mean a trustworthy adult)

She doesn't think so. She goes to a very small private muslim school. She is so scared she's going to die unless she figures out how to stop dad from taking her Saudia Arabia.

[nextwife]

She needs an advocate. Is there a counselor at school, or some other trusted adult she can talk to?

Personally, I agree that a child with gender identity issues should NOT be relocated to a place like Saudi Arabia. There are human rights issues. She should also try calling her Senator's or Congressman's office for some guidance regarding some type of asylum that might allow her to remain in the US- or at least not be relocated to a country that puts her at risk.

[Takari]

Originally Posted by nextwife

She needs an advocate. Is there a counselor at school, or some other trusted adult she can talk to?

Personally, I agree that a child with gender identity issues should NOT be relocated to a place like Saudi Arabia. There are human rights issues. She should also try calling her Senator's or Congressman's office for some guidance regarding some type of asylum that might allow her to remain in the US- or at least not be relocated to a country that puts her at risk.

That's a good idea. She hasn't thought of anything like that. Would a Senator or Congressman, have any ideas about how to help her? She was wanting to talk to a lawyer but doesn't know how cause she's only 13, and can't drive and stuff. What she can do is very limited by who she can get to help her... And how much help she can get before dad finds out and forbids her from getting help from people to help her.

She doesn't mind going into foster care or adoption or something if it means she'll be safe.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Takari

That's a good idea. She hasn't thought of anything like that. Would a Senator or Congressman, have any ideas about how to help her? She was wanting to talk to a lawyer but doesn't know how cause she's only 13, and can't drive and stuff. What she can do is very limited by who she can get to help her... And how much help she can get before dad finds out and forbids her from getting help from people to help her.

She doesn't mind going into foster care or adoption or something if it means she'll be safe.

So is she PHYSICALLY a boy, who sees their gender identity as female?

[Takari]

Originally Posted by nextwife

So is she PHYSICALLY a boy, who sees their gender identity as female?

Yes, she is. Sorry, she doesn't like talking about it much, but yes, that is what she is.