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11-18-2004, 07:09 PM
| | | | situation I have a situation that i am at my wit's end in trying to solve.
My daughter's boyfriend, both are 17, has left home, and essentially has no where to go. His mother died when he was 5, and he has lived with his grandmother since then. I am not sure whether there is any abuse going on or not, if there is it is probably emotional. This boy is a good kid, makes good grades, but has had a really tough life. I think he has always felt unwanted.
He has been staying in my home for the last 5 days or so, until tonight when i took him to stay with his sister, who is 19, and also doesnt live in the greatest environment. Now i feel terrible, and feel like i have "thrown him away". I have no problem with him staying here, it isnt as if i allowed my daughters boyfriend to move in just because they wanted to. I am worried that someone might see this as my being an "unfit" mother, and get social services involved, and jeopardize my family. I have been crying ever since i took him to his sisters, and i just dont know what to do.
Legally, what are my options? What if someone turns me in for allowing him to live here? His grandmother knows he was here, with us, and seemed to have no concern about it, one way or the other. and when i spoke to her today about him going to his sisters, she said it was up to him, and to allow him to make that choice.
I would just like to know what options i have? please help! Thanks | 
11-18-2004, 07:36 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: snowland
Posts: 5,976
| | | Keep in touch with him so he knows he can talk to you , Your concerns about some one making a stink since the kids were dating is enough to know that if you keep tabs on him and make him feel welcome to visit any hard feelings may be let go of . He has family and if it gets really bad then family services can step in , In the time being how long does he have to go till he is 18 ? If things get out of hand he can always be placed in a foster home till he is 18 and will still be looked out for . | 
11-18-2004, 07:44 PM
| | | | situation Thanks for your reply.
I want to, and i intend to keep in touch with him and let him know that i do care about him. We live on the state line, and he lives in the neighboring state, which is about 9 miles from me.
I dont want to see him in foster care, he just turned 17 last friday, so he has another year to go. His sister is not the best influence on him either, she is too young to provide any sort of stability for him. I want to, but i am certainly worried about jeopardizing my family, hence the question of my allowing him to live here with my daughter, and the rest of our family. Certainly we know there is nothing wrong happening, but others wouldnt, and while im not concerned what others think, i am concerned that it would become an issue with social services. I guess i could just call and ask them.
Anyway thanks for your post....appreciate it. | 
11-19-2004, 05:49 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 33,493
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by kkwrn Thanks for your reply.
I want to, and i intend to keep in touch with him and let him know that i do care about him. We live on the state line, and he lives in the neighboring state, which is about 9 miles from me.
I dont want to see him in foster care, he just turned 17 last friday, so he has another year to go. His sister is not the best influence on him either, she is too young to provide any sort of stability for him. I want to, but i am certainly worried about jeopardizing my family, hence the question of my allowing him to live here with my daughter, and the rest of our family. Certainly we know there is nothing wrong happening, but others wouldnt, and while im not concerned what others think, i am concerned that it would become an issue with social services. I guess i could just call and ask them.
Anyway thanks for your post....appreciate it. | You didn't tell us what state you lived in....however the only issue that social services could act on would be an accusation that you were allowing minors to live together sexually. The boy simply living in your home, with the permission of his legal guardian(s) isn't an actionable issue for social services. If your child is over the legal "age of consent" in your state they wouldn't be able to take any action against you at all. | |
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