Son is being verbally attacked

[sandersdad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My son is 17. My girlfriends ex-husband has decided to cause drama and conflict in the home and has text messaged her and emailed her stating that he feels my son is mentally unstable and liable to cause harm to his son, all because my son owns firearms that he hunts with. I have full custody of my son. His mother made a series of poor decisions when he was 12, so I went to court and was awarded full custody. He's a quiet kid, always has been. Former baseball player, now very active in FFA. Is this years President of his FFA chapter. He's not an extrovert by any means, quiet and comfy in his own skin and space.

My girlfriend and her ex have been divorced since 2010. We met in November of 2011. Ever since he found out she had moved on and met someone new, he has attempted to rock the boat as often as he can. Constantly belittles her and harasses her via text and email. Always questions her parenting and even calls her a terrible mom. This coming from a father who chose to move out of state after their divorce, and only sees his son when it is convenient for him....due to a sales convention nearby or such. Anyways, my son and her son aren't best friends. They're 2 different kids. My son is a senior, quiet, into the outdoors stuff, FFA etc..., her son is very outgoing, has a ton of friends, kind of the popular crowd, plays sports etc., 2 very different kids. And her son is a sophmore. Her ex-husband has decided to pounce on this and state that there is turmoil in the house with the boys not talking or being friends, and that my son has mental issues due to his mother, and that being proficient in firearms and owning them, that he is obviously a danger to his son. Completely off the wall. Of course he is trying to push my buttons.

But, my main concern is.....he isn't going to provoke me to do anything illegal. I know he wants me to lose it and assault him. He has already stated if I ever touch him I'll go to jail because he won't fight back. And I have no intention of doing that. I just want to know whether he can legally talk in such a way about my son?? He has zero basis to say my son is mentally unstable and a danger to his son....or anyone for that matter. He is making all this up just to cause conflict. Oh, and he has also demanded a psych evaluation of my son. Can he talk about my son like this??? A grown man basically attacking the character of a 17 yr old boy.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My son is 17. My girlfriends ex-husband has decided to cause drama and conflict in the home and has text messaged her and emailed her stating that he feels my son is mentally unstable and liable to cause harm to his son, all because my son owns firearms that he hunts with. I have full custody of my son. His mother made a series of poor decisions when he was 12, so I went to court and was awarded full custody. He's a quiet kid, always has been. Former baseball player, now very active in FFA. Is this years President of his FFA chapter. He's not an extrovert by any means, quiet and comfy in his own skin and space.

My girlfriend and her ex have been divorced since 2010. We met in November of 2011. Ever since he found out she had moved on and met someone new, he has attempted to rock the boat as often as he can. Constantly belittles her and harasses her via text and email. Always questions her parenting and even calls her a terrible mom. This coming from a father who chose to move out of state after their divorce, and only sees his son when it is convenient for him....due to a sales convention nearby or such. Anyways, my son and her son aren't best friends. They're 2 different kids. My son is a senior, quiet, into the outdoors stuff, FFA etc..., her son is very outgoing, has a ton of friends, kind of the popular crowd, plays sports etc., 2 very different kids. And her son is a sophmore. Her ex-husband has decided to pounce on this and state that there is turmoil in the house with the boys not talking or being friends, and that my son has mental issues due to his mother, and that being proficient in firearms and owning them, that he is obviously a danger to his son. Completely off the wall. Of course he is trying to push my buttons.

But, my main concern is.....he isn't going to provoke me to do anything illegal. I know he wants me to lose it and assault him. He has already stated if I ever touch him I'll go to jail because he won't fight back. And I have no intention of doing that. I just want to know whether he can legally talk in such a way about my son?? He has zero basis to say my son is mentally unstable and a danger to his son....or anyone for that matter. He is making all this up just to cause conflict. Oh, and he has also demanded a psych evaluation of my son. Can he talk about my son like this??? A grown man basically attacking the character of a 17 yr old boy.

Via texts and emails to his ex?

Why would you even get involved in her drama with her ex? Why would your gf even show & tell you?

Ignore it.

 

[sandersdad]

Via texts and emails to his ex?

Why would you even get involved in her drama with her ex? Why would your gf even show & tell you?

Ignore it.

She and I have been together and living together for 3 yrs. This is an ex husband that can't quite seem to get over the fact that she has moved on. I have sole physical custody of my son, as does she of her son. And yes, his harassment is via text and email to her. And of course we ignore him. But now he has chosen to involve my son, just to push my buttons. My main question was whether he can legally get away with speaking on my son like that and just making stuff up.....considering he's a nearly 50 yr old man and my son is a minor.

 

[CdwJava]

My son is 17. My girlfriends ex-husband ... has text messaged her and emailed her ... Constantly belittles her and harasses her via text and email. Always questions her parenting and even calls her a terrible mom.

If she is not engaging him in conversation and this is unwanted communications, SHE can speak to the police about the misdemeanor crime of harassing communications (PC 653m) and SHE can petition to get a restraining order to stop the behavior.

I know he wants me to lose it and assault him. He has already stated if I ever touch him I'll go to jail because he won't fight back. And I have no intention of doing that.

Good. Don't engage him and you'll be fine.

I just want to know whether he can legally talk in such a way about my son??

Yes.

Though if he is doing it in a manner that harasses his ex (your gf) then she can report it to the police or seek a restraining order. But, he is generally free to hold a low opinion of your son and even tell other people about his opinion. If you have a LOT of money to spend and he's passing it around that your son is unstable, you MIGHT have a claim for slander ... but, that would be very expensive to pursue simply in an effort to get him to shut up.

 

[sandersdad]

If she is not engaging him in conversation and this is unwanted communications, SHE can speak to the police about the misdemeanor crime of harassing communications (PC 653m) and SHE can petition to get a restraining order to stop the behavior.


Good. Don't engage him and you'll be fine.


Yes.

Though if he is doing it in a manner that harasses his ex (your gf) then she can report it to the police or seek a restraining order. But, he is generally free to hold a low opinion of your son and even tell other people about his opinion. If you have a LOT of money to spend and he's passing it around that your son is unstable, you MIGHT have a claim for slander ... but, that would be very expensive to pursue simply in an effort to get him to shut up.

Thank you for your reply

 

[Silverplum]

You just wrote many nasty things about someone, on a public board.

 

[single317dad]

But now he has chosen to involve my son, just to push my buttons.

Success!

It's possible the minor may not own the gun(s) at all, or may not own them legally. See this page (and especially the footnotes with relevant PCs):

http://smartgunlaws.org/child-access-prevention-in-california/

 

[sandersdad]

You just wrote many nasty things about someone, on a public board.

Who did? And what nasty things were said?

 

[Ohiogal]

Who did? And what nasty things were said?

You did and I will highlight them for you:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My son is 17. My girlfriends ex-husband has decided to cause drama and conflict in the home and has text messaged her and emailed her stating that he feels my son is mentally unstable and liable to cause harm to his son, all because my son owns firearms that he hunts with. I have full custody of my son. His mother made a series of poor decisions when he was 12, so I went to court and was awarded full custody. He's a quiet kid, always has been. Former baseball player, now very active in FFA. Is this years President of his FFA chapter. He's not an extrovert by any means, quiet and comfy in his own skin and space.

My girlfriend and her ex have been divorced since 2010. We met in November of 2011. Ever since he found out she had moved on and met someone new, he has attempted to rock the boat as often as he can. Constantly belittles her and harasses her via text and email. Always questions her parenting and even calls her a terrible mom. This coming from a father who chose to move out of state after their divorce, and only sees his son when it is convenient for him....due to a sales convention nearby or such. Anyways, my son and her son aren't best friends. They're 2 different kids. My son is a senior, quiet, into the outdoors stuff, FFA etc..., her son is very outgoing, has a ton of friends, kind of the popular crowd, plays sports etc., 2 very different kids. And her son is a sophmore. Her ex-husband has decided to pounce on this and state that there is turmoil in the house with the boys not talking or being friends, and that my son has mental issues due to his mother, and that being proficient in firearms and owning them, that he is obviously a danger to his son. Completely off the wall. Of course he is trying to push my buttons.

But, my main concern is.....he isn't going to provoke me to do anything illegal. I know he wants me to lose it and assault him. He has already stated if I ever touch him I'll go to jail because he won't fight back. And I have no intention of doing that. I just want to know whether he can legally talk in such a way about my son?? He has zero basis to say my son is mentally unstable and a danger to his son....or anyone for that matter. He is making all this up just to cause conflict. Oh, and he has also demanded a psych evaluation of my son. Can he talk about my son like this??? A grown man basically attacking the character of a 17 yr old boy.

Dude, he can say this stuff. Your girlfriend apparently is the one who likes drama. He can request a psych eval. The court can deny it. Legally he has said nothing wrong. You need to realize something, your girlfriend CHOSE THIS MAN as the father of her child. You seem quite contented with criticizing him. You need to distance yourself and refuse to listen to what your girlfriend says or shows you regarding the father of her child.

 

[stealth2]

So... DOES your kid have guns? Are they locked up when not under (an adult's) supervised use? Do you understand why they should be?

 

[Just Blue]

Sorry if this is a dumb question...But what is FFA?

 

[Silverplum]

Sorry if this is a dumb question...But what is FFA?

Future Farmers of America.

 

[Just Blue]

Future Farmers of America.

Ahhh. Thanks. See what happens to city folk?? We don't know nothin'.