Son kicked girlfriend out and he needs legal advice fast!

What is the name of your state? Iowa

My son's girlfriend has lived in our home for 8-9 months and they have a 3 month old child. He kicked her out after she brought a strange man home that she met at a party the night before. His girlfriend called her sister to help her move and the sister got in my son's face and was verbally abusive and my son told her to leave. She wouldn't leave and then her sister told her to leave; she still wouldn't leave. They finally went outside and then there was a pushing match between my son and the sister. The sister ended up with a sprained ankle and my son has scratches on his chest. The girlfriend and her sister left and then called the cops to have my son charged with assault. How can someone come to your home, even if they are invited, and cause a problem then have you charged for assault? We do have a witness to the altercation outside and who heard the girlfriend tell the sister to leave.

The girlfriend still has a few things here and won't return the house key until she gets her things. The police said she has a right to come into our home to get her things even if we're not here. I bought some baby items for use in our home and she is claiming they're her's and I'm worried she'll take them while we're not home. Is it true that she can legally come while we're gone? How can I prevent her from taking things that aren't her's?

Their baby doesn't have my son's name on the birth certificate, but my son's last name is what the birth certificate shows as the baby's last name. When the girlfriend left she said she would have the baby's name changed and that he would never get to see the baby again. My son loves this child and took care of her (bathes, etc.) much better than the mother. What should he do?

We need advice very quickly, PLEASE!!! Thank you!

Your son needs to take action to establish paternity (the baby using his name may not be adequate) and then file a petition for joint custody. The mother has no right to keep him from seeing and having a relationship with his child, and the judge will tell her that. He will, of course, be required to pay child support if she has physical custody, but hopefully he'll want to do that anyway.

Thanks for the info! He would prefer joint custody so he can help support and raise the child. We are concerned that he may be denied joint custody or may be required to have supervised visits because of the assault charge! We just found out that the sister is saying my son pushed her from behind. We do have a witness though. 2 other people saw the altercation also, but they were with the girlfriend and we're not sure they'll tell the truth. If anyone has any advice about that situation I would really appreciate it! I would also appreciate any info about whether she has any legal right to come here to get her things while we're gone. Thank you!

[nailtech]

one would think you could change your locks on all the doors and lock your windows, then it would be breaking and entering right??...

In my opinion, police dont allow you to enter a house by breaking windows or bolting down doors that you previously "rented" just because you used to live there... seems common sense to me as to your solution... just might cost you a few dollars to make some changes... just my thoughts...

I did change the locks but was worried that she could somehow file a charge against me for not allowing her access to her things. It seems crazy to me that someone invited to your home has the right to start a verbal and/or physical confrontation, fail to leave when asked and then file an assault charge when they get hurt in a pushing match - but that's exactly what the police said! It seems to me that gives her more rights than me as a homeowner!!! Plus, it's not like the girlfriend was a rent paying tennant, because in the 8-9 months she lived her I only received $50 from her toward the higher electric bill! I can't see any common sense in the whole situation :-(

I would contact her and inform her that she can come pick up the rest of her things on a certain day at a certain time. Once arrangements are made,as far as date and time, call the local police and ask them to send out an officer to oversee that nothing else happens. If your son was arrested already, then they are aware of the situation and having them there at your house would be a good idea. Take the things that you paid for,hopefully you have receipts, and put them somewhere else. I,personally, would take them to a neighbors house or a family members house and keep them there until she gets what is actually hers. I don't think it's a good idea to take anything from the baby just b/c of the mother but if you are really wanting to do that, then that is what I would do.
Your son should definitly get a dna test done and if he is the father and he wants custody then he should push for it. What did the police say about the scratches on your sons chest? Also, why isn't his name on the birth certificate but the baby has his last name? I thought that the baby had mom's last name unless the father was listed also. That would mean that any girl can give birth to a child and put any man's last name on it. I hope it works out for your son in the long run.

how many times do we have to bang it into these dumb boys heads....

if a girl cannot pay her own way ..then get rid of her and keep your pecker in your pants....

We changed the locks last night and my son called her this morning to set up a date and time to pick up her things. She said she would call the police to have them here as well, but if she doesn't my son will and have her stay in her car until one gets here. A law student told me that the police were wrong about her right to come here anytime she wanted to get her things. That is only in cases where the couple are co-owners or renters. I don't want to take anything away from the baby; however, I do want my son to be able to have visitation rights and have the baby here, which the court won't allow unless he has all the needed equipment (ie: crib, high chair, clothes, etc.) - that's the equipment I bought. He will probably have to purchase another car seat because he sent it with the mother; he wanted the baby to be safe - that was more important than the money he'll spend for another one. The police took a picture of the scratches on his chest, but didn't say anything. The law student I spoke to thought we should consider filing assault charges against her since assault is "unwanted physical contact." I'm not sure how they got the birth certificate to show my son's last name without proof of paternity or a marriage license. He set up an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow and will start the process of determining if the baby is in fact his, what to do about the assault charge and working on some type of joint custody. He doesn't want to keep the baby from her mother, but he wants to be involved!
moe3 - I still can't believe that he was even spending time with this girl let alone having sex! He has been taught since he was a small child that you don't have sex with someone that you don't want to be a parent with! I think he now considers his father and I a lot smarter now!!!

Sorry, I don't have any legal advice for you, but I wanted to wish you good luck. A friend of mine is going through a similar situation and I know how hard it is on everyone involved. The only thing I can say is something I think I actually heard on Judge Judy (LOL) and that is that you have to love the child more than you hate each other. I've gone to a lot of his court proceedings and will be happy to share any information with you if you'd like. All I ask is that you email me directly so I don't have to air his dirty laundry here. Best of luck to you and please keep us updated on your situation!

Thanks for the support Jennifer! It is a tough thing to go through. We met with a lawyer yesterday who is willing to talk to the witnesses and give my son advice on how to plead for the simple assault charge. He also said that the custody case could cost $3500-5000, IF he is in fact the father and if it goes to trial. My son didn't have the money to pay a retainer yesterday so he has to go to the bank and get a letter of credit. My son wants joint legal and joint physical custody. The lawyer thought he would have a good chance as long as he hired a psychologist to do home evaluations. I agree, especially if the talk to the mother's bully sister! My son seems relieved to be out of the relationship but truly misses the baby and really wants to be a part of her life. Time will tell. I'd love to correspond with you but I didn't find your e-mail address. Mine is [email]pdallege@msn.com[/email]
Pam

[nailtech]

Quilting1, for future reference if you click on the persons profile under their post it will take you to another page and you can email or send a private message to them...

Thanks!