Son's father in jail

What is the name of your state? GA

My 15-month-old son's father has been in jail for the last 4 months. He was arrested for many charges and one of them includes hitting me. I believe that the reason for his behavior before he was arrested was due to his addiction to drugs and as long as he gets the help he needs to quit, I see no reason why he can't be a father to our son. The only problem is since I am a victim, I can't have any contact with him. If he can't have any contact with me, he won't be able to see his son because I am the only one that could take him to see him. Is there anything that I can do to get the judge or whoever to allow him to see our son? I didn't put him on the birth certificate because he doesn't have a social security number and the papers said they require one. I would like for him to sign an acknowledgement of paternity but I don't know how to do that since he is in jail now. I don't know how much longer he will be in there since he hasn't been sentenced yet.

You're kidding, right? If it weren't for the fact that I'm trying real hard to behave on this forum in all regards, I'd blast you for the advice you're asking. Guess I just did. Some things just don't deserve manners. Sorry you had to be at the end of my rope. If you care anything about your child (or yourself) you sure aren't acting like it. Get the jerk out of your life -- period. Call domestic violence and get some counseling.


hmmbrdzz

I'm not trying to defend him or anything but I do know that before he started doing cocaine and drinking all the time, he was a completely different person. He was the kind of person that I would want raising my son. I have thought about this every day for the last four months and I know that he would be a good father if he could stay away from that stuff. The only way that I would ever let him see the baby is if he stayed clean. I don't think that any child should be without their father if they don't have to be.

Well.... yeah... he WAS. He's an addict and a convict now. That's the truth about him now. What you do with respect to this truth will be the truth about you. Dump him. Go find a nice guy. JUST FIND A NICE GUY if you've got to have one in your life. It's that simple.



hmmbrdzz

[stephenk]

He doesnt have a social security number?? How old is he? What kind of support can he provide if he is only working jobs for cash?

Do you expect this guy, who cant get a job without a SS#, takes drugs, beats you, and is now a felon, to be a good father to your child? what evidence do you have that he will be a good father??


I am sure Charlie Manson was a nice person at times when he wasnt planning murders.

The reason why he doesn't have a social security number is because he is an illegal alien from Mexico. He may only be able to get a job making about $300-350/week but as long as he doesn't blow it all, he would have enough to help out some. I'm not really worried about the money though.

When you say he beats me, it sounds like your saying he does it a lot. He has only hit me once. I do not think it is ever okay to hit anyone and I will not put up with that. I've been thinking about an incident that happened between him and my mother. Me and Jose were living with her at the time and he had came home one night after work. She had been drinking and she was mad at him for something little. I can't remember what it was. She came up to him and put her hands around his neck trying to kill him. He had did the right thing that night by trying to do everything he could to get her to stop without hurting her but she just wouldn't stop. I had even tried to hold her off of him. I managed to get him out the door and after we left, she called the police on him saying he started it when he didn't. My mother loves to start fights with her friend whenever she's drinking and always thinks that it's the other person's fault. I don't think that just because she can get violent with people when drinking she is any less of a mother. She has never touched me. Why should Jose be any different? I think that as long as he doesn't go back to drinking and doing drugs when he gets out, he won't be getting in trouble and he'll be the same guy that I met. Nobody's perfect and he screwed up. I think that he deserves one chance to change for his child. If he loves him as much as I think he does, he will do it. If he doesn't, I will do what is best for my son and keep him away from his father. He's 20 by the way.

they sure do make um dumb in georgia.

He's an Illegal alien, he will be deported.

Why the hellll should we keep him here?

Cause he got you pregnant so he maybe can get a green card.

You are a very stupid girl, he used you to get pregnant, in the hopes he can stay in America.

[stephenk]

it gets even better with the violent alcoholic mom.

I feel very very sad and sorry for the child. I am going to go play playstation with my son and thank god for my family situation.

[nailtech]

michelle,
you can blame who you want, but your the one making the mistake...

act like your not involved and your a stranger, read your own post and see how it sounds and its pathetic...


your making excuses and trying to sugar coat it.. it's not working...

[usmcfamily]

Please know this is not an "attack" on you -- this is an attempt to get you to wake up and see reality.....
You are a mother now**************.as a mother your first and primary obligation is to your child......your child deserves MUCH MUCH better than what it is you are trying to provide for him. Do you really think that if the child were asked his opinion he would WANT to be raised in an evironment with a drug addicted felon for a father and an alcoholic violent grandmother in the picture? You have GOT TO BE KIDDING!
You are a MOTHER - you need to take care of your CHILD and stop thinking about what you want**************
By the way - he has only "hit you one time" so far****************************believe me once they start the very rarely stop**************

So, the gist of your whole message.....
These are the people YOU WANT as role models for your baby son...your baby son who's emotional foundation has just begun to be formed. Grandma is a drunk who treats her "loved ones" like an old punching bag. Dad's a wife-beater, or whatever, who breaks all laws. Mom's stupid who justifies and validates Dad's and Grandma's crap. Who will baby turn to for guidance? I shudder to think.

His father is an illegal alien. This makes me sick. As if whacking women around isn't bad enough. The message you would be giving your son is that it is okay to violate the laws of his country and disrespect the U.S. when upholding the laws and enforcing the codes and rules of this country are more important than ever before. Planting the seeds for rebellion and delinquency, no doubt. I can't imagine anything more unpatriotic and gross. Why would you want someone in this country who doesn't belong? That just pisses me off. Don't we, as a nation, have our hands full as it is? Our cup has run'ith over with our own American dirtbags--we don't need to import them. We're busy rounding up terrorists with a lust for blowing up sky scrapers anyway. Hell, you're contributing to this country's problems by encouraging it, letting him sire your children and harboring him. He's where he belongs until or unless we throw his ass back into Mexico where he should be. Wait a minute....get him outta our jails. We don't need to be supporting him. Let me guess...you're on welfare too, aren't you? Or some kind of government aid....I swear.


Your mother is "no less a mother" cuz she's gets polluted on cheap whiskey and beats the **** out of her family and friends. She should be in jail with Romeo. They can slap each other around all day. Yeah, "mother of the year" material, honey. She doesn't deserve to be ANYONE'S mother and certainly NOT YOUR CHILD'S GRANDMA.

Ya know what, I'm done. I'm getting to irritated and I believe all of this will fall on deaf and stupid ears anyway.

You were raised by dysfunctional people and I'm sure you can't help being this blind, ignorant and confused. It may not be your fault, but now that you an adult, it is your responsibility and your problem to correct yourself. No blaming either. No one cares to hear the childhood sob story. It's on you now. Unfair but that's life. As a responsible adult anyway. I feel sorry for you. You are just one in the long and winding line of problem people in this culture.

I worry about this country and I cry for your poor son. It's scary.

One more thing...

Yes, I agree that all children need and deserve a father.

BUT...not just any father. A good and decent man who will be a positive role model and financially support them also.

Just because someone is 50% of a baby's DNA, the sperm donor, whatever you call it, doesn't mean they are the best person for job. People should deserve the privilege and earn it. Not inherit the role just because they forgot to buy condoms at 7-11.

The same goes for bad moms too. Some women suck as parents while the man is a good father. Applies to both sexes==not just dads.

A child is better off without one parent if the parent in question is destructive or abusive.

I will go to my grave believing people should have licenses, mandatory parenting classes, etc. BEFORE becoming a parent. We need licenses just to go fishing for trout but any moron can become a parent. Go figure.