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Spousal Support while married

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cjlight

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Illinois

My mother and my stepfather are living comfortably in an assisted living facility together. My mother fell recently and struck her head, resulting in brain surgery. My stepfather has been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's; he has no living children but gave power of attorney to his granddaughter. My mother has no personal assets everything remained in my stepfather`s name during the marriage; she has her social security income. Each month she has paid more than that amount for 1/2 of the charges at the assisted living facility, drawing from her small savings. That savings dwindled fast following her accident due to extra care, etc. She recently developed a staph infection at the site of the incision and is now hospitalized again but, hopefully, will return home soon. The granddaughter will only pay 1/2 of their living expenses at the assisted living facility, even though my stepdad has always provided for all living expenses prior to their move. He didn`t even realize Mother was paying 1/2, which was a mistake, I`m sure. He would be very upset but does not know the situation. Granddaughter feels that, since Mother is not his named heir in his will, that he is not required to pay for her needs. She wants to move them to a less than desirable facility, even though they love their new home. We are incurring additional expenses for 24 hour care for Mother until she is once again on her feet. What exactly is my stepdad`s obligation? Mother IS his wife.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Illinois

My mother and my stepfather are living comfortably in an assisted living facility together. My mother fell recently and struck her head, resulting in brain surgery. My stepfather has been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's; he has no living children but gave power of attorney to his granddaughter. My mother has no personal assets everything remained in my stepfather`s name during the marriage; she has her social security income. Each month she has paid more than that amount for 1/2 of the charges at the assisted living facility, drawing from her small savings. That savings dwindled fast following her accident due to extra care, etc. She recently developed a staph infection at the site of the incision and is now hospitalized again but, hopefully, will return home soon. The granddaughter will only pay 1/2 of their living expenses at the assisted living facility, even though my stepdad has always provided for all living expenses prior to their move. He didn`t even realize Mother was paying 1/2, which was a mistake, I`m sure. He would be very upset but does not know the situation. Granddaughter feels that, since Mother is not his named heir in his will, that he is not required to pay for her needs. She wants to move them to a less than desirable facility, even though they love their new home. We are incurring additional expenses for 24 hour care for Mother until she is once again on her feet. What exactly is my stepdad`s obligation? Mother IS his wife.
Wow! The granddaughter is a sweetheart huh? My gut instinct tells me that she is abusing her POA...but I am not an attorney...I will see if Ohiogal is around to answer...
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I am here between trips to the doctor and hospital -- anyway...
Spouses have a legal obligation to support each other. There are various concerns though -- stepdad has alzheimer's; granddaughter has power of attorney; the will only matters once the decedent is dead and has no pull at this point; what type of POA does the granddaughter have -- limited?
How much income does stepfather have? Could it be that the money monthly is only enough to cover? Granddaughter cannot move OPs mother to a different facility. She has no rights over mother. What medical coverage is available?
 

cjlight

Junior Member
My stepfather's income is substantial plus we have filed for Veteran's Benefits which he will be receiving each month. That, along with his savings and property, will long outlive him and my mother. But Mother, herself, has very limited income with her social security check. My stepfather has always paid the living expenses and Mother used her check for household incidentals and personal needs. They have wonderful insurance from my stepfather's past employment. Without his funds, however, Mother would not be able to live in the assisted living facility. The granddaughter feels that, since Mother is not named in his will (I believe he left all to his granddaughters, which is fine with us kids), that their expenses should now be split 50/50. I can't understand this way of thinking since Mother IS his wife! He would not be happy if he knew what is taking place. He is not completely incompetent, but I have hesitated to tell him that his POA is refusing to pay Mother's portion of expense. What to do?
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
My stepfather's income is substantial plus we have filed for Veteran's Benefits which he will be receiving each month. That, along with his savings and property, will long outlive him and my mother. But Mother, herself, has very limited income with her social security check. My stepfather has always paid the living expenses and Mother used her check for household incidentals and personal needs. They have wonderful insurance from my stepfather's past employment. Without his funds, however, Mother would not be able to live in the assisted living facility. The granddaughter feels that, since Mother is not named in his will (I believe he left all to his granddaughters, which is fine with us kids), that their expenses should now be split 50/50. I can't understand this way of thinking since Mother IS his wife! He would not be happy if he knew what is taking place. He is not completely incompetent, but I have hesitated to tell him that his POA is refusing to pay Mother's portion of expense. What to do?
You need a local attorney reviewing the granddaughter's actions and a full fiscal accounting. While a POA can be removed through court action, it's not a simple matter.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
My stepfather's income is substantial plus we have filed for Veteran's Benefits which he will be receiving each month. That, along with his savings and property, will long outlive him and my mother. But Mother, herself, has very limited income with her social security check. My stepfather has always paid the living expenses and Mother used her check for household incidentals and personal needs. They have wonderful insurance from my stepfather's past employment. Without his funds, however, Mother would not be able to live in the assisted living facility. The granddaughter feels that, since Mother is not named in his will (I believe he left all to his granddaughters, which is fine with us kids), that their expenses should now be split 50/50. I can't understand this way of thinking since Mother IS his wife! He would not be happy if he knew what is taking place. He is not completely incompetent, but I have hesitated to tell him that his POA is refusing to pay Mother's portion of expense. What to do?
It sounds to me like the granddaughter is more interested in protecting her inheritance than in providing for the comfort of her grandfather and his wife. Do what BB suggested and consult a local attorney.
 

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