step parent legal rights

i'm writing from new york...my ex has recently remarried, we share joint legal custody and i am the primary care custodial parent (they live primarily with me,the childen use my address as their legal address, i receive child support, etc) what rights does thier new step mom have? what would a power of attorney do for her with regard to my children, what else can they do legally to further involve her with the children, i'm concerned with them taking children to dr's appt w/o my knowledge, the new step mom being at parent/teacher conferneces he constantly tells me "when she's their step mother, she can do this/that and , according to him, everyother thing??!!"

[tigger22472]

Legally we step mom's have no rights what so ever. I'm not sure what the power of attoney thing can do, it's been discussed a bit here, however my opinion is that is asenine. It's best to kind of think of her as two extra hands. When the child is sick and you can't pick them up from school or it's better for the step-mom then you. Might want to point out to ex that joint custody means you consult on everything. Ask him if he'd like for you to go for sole custody if he considers doing things behind your back. With sole you wouldn't have to consult about who the children see for dr... schools, anything.