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06-21-2006, 10:03 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10
| |  stepdaughters in charge
What is the name of your state? Ohio
I am in a less than ideal marriage. Until I can figure out what to do, I am stuck in a situation that concerns me. My 3 step daughters are special - as in princesses. I am not allowed to set any rules, discipline, or enforce any of my husband's rules with them. I have in the past and been made to apologize (for telling one she needed to answer me when I ask her a question). I have been told by husband, children, and their mother that the girls are none of my business or concern. So during the summer, these girls are allowed over while I am home all day, to be in the pool, have friends over, etc. while my hands are tied as far as being an adult in charge. My husband says "I will be responsible for them" even while he is at work for the day. They have been in compromising positions with boyfriends in our hot tub, had fights, etc. and I can do nothing without risk of punishment from my husband. What if someone gets hurt? Or if something else happens? How liable will I personally be even if I am told to do nothing and that he is claiming all responsibility from work? I am worried about this. Also he has allowed 13 year old boys and girls to spend the night here all in the same room. I was totally against it, and pretty sure other parents were not aware - but he runs the house and says its no big deal ("If they were in separate rooms, they would just go in the same room while we are asleep anyway") I am the strict one, and I do NOT wish to be sued or anything else. I dont have the means to leave right now so I feel stuck where I am set up to take a legal fall. How liable will I personally be? |
06-21-2006, 10:08 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 28,312
| | | Legally, you have no standing with these girls. I'd refuse to be left home alone with them. An inconvenience, to be sure, but I'd leave when they arrive. Come home when they're goen or Dad is home.
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06-21-2006, 10:28 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10
| | | Thanks for your reply. I have left in the past. I have 2 children of my own who are on their summer vacation and want to have friends over or whatever and not have to pick up and leave the house when these girls show up on a whim. If this is my only recourse, I will have to revisit it. It just seems unfair to me and my kids since this is our house too. In the summer dad works from 7a.m. to 7p.m. sometimes. That's along time to have to find somewhere else to go if they stay all day. I really appreciate your advice. Thanks again!
Last edited by anakalias; 06-21-2006 at 10:30 AM.
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06-21-2006, 10:39 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: TN
Posts: 1,507
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Originally Posted by anakalias Thanks for your reply. I have left in the past. I have 2 children of my own who are on their summer vacation and want to have friends over or whatever and not have to pick up and leave the house when these girls show up on a whim. If this is my only recourse, I will have to revisit it. It just seems unfair to me and my kids since this is our house too. In the summer dad works from 7a.m. to 7p.m. sometimes. That's along time to have to find somewhere else to go if they stay all day. I really appreciate your advice. Thanks again! | Tell the your husband and the girls' mother that you are not their baby sitter and it is their responsibility to look after their own children. |
06-21-2006, 11:06 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,632
| | this is a marital issue, not a legal one, grab your husband by the . . . . . . .  |
06-21-2006, 11:15 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10
| | I am asking how liable I would be if something would happen with theses girls as the only adult home. If not at all, or completely liable. This is the legal, not marital, question I am asking.  And if he had them, I would grab them...unfortunately his daughters appear to have custody of that. |
06-21-2006, 11:29 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 8,150
| | | ask him to put it in writing that you are under no circumstances to interfere with anything his children may be doing and that he absolves you of any liability for anything that may happen.....see wht he says to that |
06-21-2006, 11:41 AM
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Posts: 9,632
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Originally Posted by Zephyr ask him to put it in writing that you are under no circumstances to interfere with anything his children may be doing and that he absolves you of any liability for anything that may happen.....see wht he says to that | great idea, and be sure to have bio mom sign off too!!! |
06-21-2006, 03:23 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,707
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Originally Posted by fairisfair great idea, and be sure to have bio mom sign off too!!! | Actually have an indemnity agreement drawn up stating that mom and dad are taking full liability for any and all actions resulting for their children's actions while they are there and make sure it is signed by both and notarized. Then keep it tucked away. Because technically if it happens on your watch -- while you are the adult there -- you are responsible. Especially since it is your property. |
06-21-2006, 04:01 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10
| | | That's a great idea, I didn't even think about having it notarized. I highly doubt mom will sign (she is not the most cooperative woman, especially when it comes to doing something I want) but my husband just might - is this something we can draft ourselves or would I need to pay an attorney to write it up? |
06-21-2006, 04:16 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,632
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Originally Posted by anakalias That's a great idea, I didn't even think about having it notarized. I highly doubt mom will sign (she is not the most cooperative woman, especially when it comes to doing something I want) but my husband just might - is this something we can draft ourselves or would I need to pay an attorney to write it up? | there are several forms on the internet, google indemnity form and adjust to your needs, of course, it is always better to have an attorney involved, but this seems like something you should be able to do yourself. I would INSIST that mom sign if she wants the children to be allowed to cavort on your property at any time that dad is away from home. |
06-21-2006, 04:44 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 8,150
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Originally Posted by fairisfair there are several forms on the internet, google indemnity form and adjust to your needs, of course, it is always better to have an attorney involved, but this seems like something you should be able to do yourself. I would INSIST that mom sign if she wants the children to be allowed to cavort on your property at any time that dad is away from home. |
otherwise- when they come over- call dad at work and tell him to come supervise his kids- I can't believe he mad you apologize to a child for demanding simple respect- when you figure out what to do......I hope it's something that ends up getting you treated better. |
06-21-2006, 04:53 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,632
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Originally Posted by Zephyr otherwise- when they come over- call dad at work and tell him to come supervise his kids- I can't believe he mad you apologize to a child for demanding simple respect- when you figure out what to do......I hope it's something that ends up getting you treated better. | you are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. OP, find those lost b@lls of your husbands and use them. |
06-22-2006, 04:19 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 7,074
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Originally Posted by Ohiogal Actually have an indemnity agreement drawn up stating that mom and dad are taking full liability for any and all actions resulting for their children's actions while they are there and make sure it is signed by both and notarized. Then keep it tucked away. Because technically if it happens on your watch -- while you are the adult there -- you are responsible. Especially since it is your property. | However, the release of liability would only cover the step kids. The OP has stated that they also bring their friends. Unfortunately, leaving the house AFTER they arrive is not a good idea. If something were to happen, she would have been the person responsible for leaving the children without supervision if there are no other adults in the house when she leaves.
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06-22-2006, 07:23 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 8,150
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Originally Posted by ceara19 However, the release of liability would only cover the step kids. The OP has stated that they also bring their friends. Unfortunately, leaving the house AFTER they arrive is not a good idea. If something were to happen, she would have been the person responsible for leaving the children without supervision if there are no other adults in the house when she leaves. |
That is why I think she should call dad to come home from work and watch his brats and their friends- or call the parents of the friends and tell them where their children are and what they are doing and that after 10 mins they will no long be supervised as she is leaving.
I just find this wife situation to be totally frustrating- he's sure lucky he's not my husband!!!! | |
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