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  1. #1
    mistress512 is offline Junior Member
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    Suing the mistress

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

    I was wondering if it was possible to sue my husband's mistress for pain and suffering? And if so how long would the statute of limitations be? In May of 2009, my husband's mistress showed up at my home with 2 other women (while I was home alone with my 2 year old) making insults and basically harrassing me for about 2 hours. I have plenty of witnesses to these events. My husband and I are trying to work things out, he was manipulated by her because she claims that he is the father of her son, but has yet to give him a DNA test. I want our marriage to work, but the stress she caused on our marriage is tremendous. I have significant trust issues with him and my stress levels are out of control and so is my blood pressure if I even think about her. She was well aware of us being married, and she is one of those women who simply doesn't care, her intentions were to break up our home. I refuse to let her succeed. My husband has since cut her off completely, and we bumped into her on a main street in our area where she started grabbing on him and making a scene WHILE I was with him, and then started to demand child support. It was so embarassing. Can I sue her for pain and suffering? I should not have to feel stressed out about possibly running into her when ever we leave our home.
  2. #2
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistress512 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

    I was wondering if it was possible to sue my husband's mistress for pain and suffering? And if so how long would the statute of limitations be? In May of 2009, my husband's mistress showed up at my home with 2 other women (while I was home alone with my 2 year old) making insults and basically harrassing me for about 2 hours. I have plenty of witnesses to these events. My husband and I are trying to work things out, he was manipulated by her because she claims that he is the father of her son, but has yet to give him a DNA test. I want our marriage to work, but the stress she caused on our marriage is tremendous. I have significant trust issues with him and my stress levels are out of control and so is my blood pressure if I even think about her. She was well aware of us being married, and she is one of those women who simply doesn't care, her intentions were to break up our home. I refuse to let her succeed. My husband has since cut her off completely, and we bumped into her on a main street in our area where she started grabbing on him and making a scene WHILE I was with him, and then started to demand child support. It was so embarassing. Can I sue her for pain and suffering? I should not have to feel stressed out about possibly running into her when ever we leave our home.
    the person responsible for your issues, is your husband. you can sue him. for a divorce. absolutely.

    if husband was THAT concerned, he's file for a restraining order on this woman. you should have called the police when the woman showed up at your home. husband wants to really make this woman go away? he would have done it by now.

    please start looking for a therapist to deal with your stress issues. regardless if you stay with your husband or not.
  3. #3
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    I will never understand why people want to blame the person being cheated with, rather then the one doing the cheating. Your husband is the one who made promises to you, not this woman.
  4. #4
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistress512 View Post
    In May of 2009, my husband's mistress showed up at my home with 2 other women (while I was home alone with my 2 year old) making insults and basically harrassing me for about 2 hours. I have plenty of witnesses to these events.
    Uuuum... if you were alone, where were the witnesses?
  5. #5
    Golfball is offline Member
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    New Jersey is not one of the few states that recognize alienation of affection as a valid tort, so no, suing the mistress (unless they did something legally actionable, rather than simply vexing you) is not really an option.
  6. #6
    ShyCat is offline Senior Member
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    Doesn't anyone else find it odd that a wife would call herself "mistress512" when asking about suing her husband's mistress?

    Makes me wonder if this might have been a Freudian slip from a mistress trying to find out what legal trouble she has gotten herself into.
  7. #7
    AHA
    AHA is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShyCat View Post
    Doesn't anyone else find it odd that a wife would call herself "mistress512" when asking about suing her husband's mistress?
    Or because she is revolving her whole life around the mistress instead of moving on with her own life.
  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Uuuum... if you were alone, where were the witnesses?

    Good catch.
  9. #9
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShyCat View Post
    Doesn't anyone else find it odd that a wife would call herself "mistress512" when asking about suing her husband's mistress?

    Makes me wonder if this might have been a Freudian slip from a mistress trying to find out what legal trouble she has gotten herself into.
    It might be that the OP is really the mistress, or as AHA said the OP is the wife and is still too angry to move on.

    For the user name she picked, she might have had to resort to that because she couldn't find another name that was accepted. I know that more an more when I try to register on sites it becomes a half hour process just to come up with a user name that is accepted. Last week I got tired of trying on one site that I typed in- "okaysodon'tletmeregister" and surprise, that name had already been used.
  10. #10
    mistress512 is offline Junior Member
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    For starters I live in an apartment building, the witnesses are my many neighbors who heard everything and came out to be nosey... I was home alone with my son as stated.

    next I am the wife, and I have a common name so most of the names I wanted were chosen, so I picked this name based on the events of this day

    For those who had actual advice I thank you, all others here to judge and try to tear apart what I stated go read a book and critique that

    My question as I stated was not for an alienation of affection type of thing, but a pain and suffering for the unneccessary bs this young woman is trying to put my husband and I through.

    However, I see the best thing to do in our situation is to get a restraining order, so thank you for that advice. I was not sure if I would be able to do so being that we run into her in public places. She has not returned to my home, and thank God we finally have the funds to move and will be doing so soon.
  11. #11
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistress512 View Post
    However, I see the best thing to do in our situation is to get a restraining order, so thank you for that advice. I was not sure if I would be able to do so being that we run into her in public places. She has not returned to my home, and thank God we finally have the funds to move and will be doing so soon.
    What has she done RECENTLY, say in the last day or 2?

    If, in the last day or 2 she has made any threats of harm, or has assaulted you or your husband, and you have proof, you might be able to file for a RO.

    However, if all you have is an incident 9 months ago and the recent running into her in public, at this time neither you nor your husband have any real basis for a RO.
  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistress512 View Post
    For starters I live in an apartment building, the witnesses are my many neighbors who heard everything and came out to be nosey... I was home alone with my son as stated.

    next I am the wife, and I have a common name so most of the names I wanted were chosen, so I picked this name based on the events of this day

    For those who had actual advice I thank you, all others here to judge and try to tear apart what I stated go read a book and critique that

    My question as I stated was not for an alienation of affection type of thing, but a pain and suffering for the unneccessary bs this young woman is trying to put my husband and I through.

    However, I see the best thing to do in our situation is to get a restraining order, so thank you for that advice. I was not sure if I would be able to do so being that we run into her in public places. She has not returned to my home, and thank God we finally have the funds to move and will be doing so soon.

    Again, the person you should be looking to sue would be your husband.
  13. #13
    mistress512 is offline Junior Member
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    Talking

    Well, I guess my idea of suing the mistress wasn't so bad, That woman in North Carolina just won 9 million dollars for suing her husband's mistress. So all you people telling me to go after my husband, fine, I will sue his ass and that xxx too, because she knew we were married and like I said the manipulative lil .... tried to seduce him. It's like something out of a lifetime movie and she needs to be held responsible too. All you people saying sue your husband must be mistresses scared of someone suing you. Don't tell me who I should blame in all this, I know who the culprits are, and since marriage is a legal contract that ... can be sued for tampering with that contract. Thanks for your advice, but seems Im not the only one who finds fault with the mistress after all.
    Last edited by m martin; 03-24-2010 at 12:41 PM.
  14. #14
    mommyof4 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistress512 View Post
    Well, I guess my idea of suing the mistress wasn't so bad, That woman in North Carolina just won 9 million dollars for suing her husband's mistress. So all you people telling me to go after my husband, fine, I will sue his ass and that ... too, because she knew we were married and like I said the manipulative lil ... tried to seduce him. It's like something out of a lifetime movie and she needs to be held responsible too. All you people saying sue your husband must be mistresses scared of someone suing you. Don't tell me who I should blame in all this, I know who the culprits are, and since marriage is a legal contract that ... can be sued for tampering with that contract. Thanks for your advice, but seems Im not the only one who finds fault with the mistress after all.
    You have one tiny issue that you seem to not grasp. Yes, you can sue your husband for divorce. But since you are in NJ and NOT NC, you have no avenue to sue his mistress.

    NC is one of the very few states that still has alienation of affection statutes in effect.

    Frankly...if your husband wasn't willing to stray, no amount of tempting by this woman would have been successful. She could have promised him the best sexual experience of his life while strutting around stark naked and he would have just told her to get dressed and that he already had the best.

    Your husband is a jerk.

    And no...I know for a fact that I am not a 'mistress'. I do, however, have a husband who honors his vows and loves me...as I love him and honor my vows. It's not that hard to do.
    Last edited by m martin; 03-24-2010 at 12:41 PM.
  15. #15
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistress512 View Post
    Well, I guess my idea of suing the mistress wasn't so bad, That woman in North Carolina just won 9 million dollars for suing her husband's mistress. So all you people telling me to go after my husband, fine, I will sue his ass and that ... too, because she knew we were married and like I said the manipulative lil ... tried to seduce him. It's like something out of a lifetime movie and she needs to be held responsible too. All you people saying sue your husband must be mistresses scared of someone suing you. Don't tell me who I should blame in all this, I know who the culprits are, and since marriage is a legal contract that ... can be sued for tampering with that contract. Thanks for your advice, but seems Im not the only one who finds fault with the mistress after all.
    Alienation of affection matters not in New Jersey. North Carolina much different state. New jersey does NOT have alienation of affection. Mistresses? Nope. We just know the law. And we are not bitter and angry at our husbands and want to make the mistress pay illegally.
    Last edited by m martin; 03-24-2010 at 12:42 PM.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

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