suspect child abuse accurring to my children and I live in another state

my children are in washington state with their mother and i now live in colorado state, because of the fact that she took me to court for modification, i could no longer afford to live in washington,and that she would always use the children in an emotional battle against me ((saying negative things about me). your father dosen't love you , your father has a new family now and doesn't want you). right now my oldest child wants to move to colorado to live with me and my wife. my ex-wife is emotionally and physically abusing my daughters (pushing them into walls, interogating them after every phone call, talking to them about everything that we are going through in court, making them listen to her and her live in boy freind say that their father is a jerk and that i don't love them). I need to know the best way to go about obtaining custody of my children without harming them. i don't want to get dshs involved because I have heard that they put them into a foster home. iwant them here where they will not be harmed,but loved the way they deserve to be loved.

[LegalBeagle]

Originally posted by mountainhigh
my children are in washington state with their mother and i now live in colorado state, because of the fact that she took me to court for modification, i could no longer afford to live in washington,and that she would always use the children in an emotional battle against me ((saying negative things about me). your father dosen't love you , your father has a new family now and doesn't want you). right now my oldest child wants to move to colorado to live with me and my wife. my ex-wife is emotionally and physically abusing my daughters (pushing them into walls, interogating them after every phone call, talking to them about everything that we are going through in court, making them listen to her and her live in boy freind say that their father is a jerk and that i don't love them). I need to know the best way to go about obtaining custody of my children without harming them. i don't want to get dshs involved because I have heard that they put them into a foster home. iwant them here where they will not be harmed,but loved the way they deserve to be loved.

How old are the children? If you want custody, you have no choice but to involve CPS/DSHS. You have to prove the mother unfit to have any chance at custody. As to where the children would go if they were taken from the mother, yes, they would not directly go to you, but this would strengthen any custody battle you took. However, what is worse, standing by and letting the abuse continue, or having the child stay in a foster home for a couple of months?

I certainly do not understand your reasoning about leaving WA because the mother says negative things about you. Moving 1000 miles just add evidence to her crap about you not loving the children. Things like the above are much easier to sort out when you are in the same state.

sorry about misunderstanding of why i moved from washington state. it wasn't about what my ex-wife would say, those things didn't happen untill i moved out of state. i had to leave washington because of the financial burden of defending myself to the courts after my ex-wife started legal action to get private school tuition for the children, which i could not afford, instead of mediation methods she went directly to the courts. defending myself lost us our house, a vehicle and all security we had, my wife and i, and our children moved in with her mother in colo. to get back up on our feet and to file bankruptcy. my children in washington state are 11 and 8. how do you go about reporting suspected child abuse? i am extremly worried for my children the situation in their mother's house is getting worse as the year goes by and instead of in the begining of mentally and emotionally abusing them her and her boyfriend are now started to get physical.

ok so we called dshs to file a report about what has been going on. cps says there is nothing that they can do unless something massive happens. so question... the only time anyone will do anything to protect the children is when there is physical evidence of bruises or they are hospitalized? why do they not investigate emotional and mental abuse? is it alright for a parent to be able to emotionally and mentally abuse their children so the child is so afraid they won't talk to anyone and don't trust anyone? how can we protect our children? do we have to wait untill it gets so bad and out of hand that one of the children get hurt(physically)? a lawyer said that since their mom is seeing a psychiatrist that a good idea would be for the children to try to get ahold of her doctor and tell that doctor what their mother has been doing to them. we suggested that to my daughter but her mother keeps all those types of phone numbers hidden. we feel at loss.

[LegalBeagle]

Originally posted by mountainhigh
ok so we called dshs to file a report about what has been going on. cps says there is nothing that they can do unless something massive happens. so question... the only time anyone will do anything to protect the children is when there is physical evidence of bruises or they are hospitalized? why do they not investigate emotional and mental abuse? is it alright for a parent to be able to emotionally and mentally abuse their children so the child is so afraid they won't talk to anyone and don't trust anyone? how can we protect our children? do we have to wait untill it gets so bad and out of hand that one of the children get hurt(physically)? a lawyer said that since their mom is seeing a psychiatrist that a good idea would be for the children to try to get ahold of her doctor and tell that doctor what their mother has been doing to them. we suggested that to my daughter but her mother keeps all those types of phone numbers hidden. we feel at loss.

The key word is 'proof'. Until you have some or there is some to be found or given, then there is not much you can do. Becareful not to go over board though.. CPS could see you as a threat and ignore your information.

LeagleBeagle: Since your on the subject of over doing the child abuse-can you shed some light on a thread today marked HARRASMENT. Would be interested in some other point of view with response.
Much Appreciated!