Taking child out of state

Kelli9715 · #1 02-17-2005, 12:56 PM

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Colorado

I do not intend on getting a divorce but I need to move to Texas to attend a 2 year nursing school. My husband does not work and I have been supporting us. We have a 7 month old daughter and of course I want to take her. Do I have any rights as a parent to just up and leave. It's in our best interest that I get a nursing degree due to the fact that my husband never holds a job for long.

Wolflmg · #2 02-17-2005, 02:02 PM

As long as its okay with your husband there shouldn't be a problem. But why not just take him with you seeing as he doesn't work, which means while your at school he can watch his daughter.

Kelli9715 · #3 02-17-2005, 02:48 PM

It was ok with him a month ago but now he's saying I can only go if she stays here 50% of the time. Being 7 months old I don't think that's a good idea and I have issues as to where she'd stay. He would end up living with either his parents or sister. My question is - legally can I just up and leave?

Silverplum · #4 02-17-2005, 02:51 PM

Why Texas? Colorado has at least three fine nursing schools.

Why move the child away from the father? Yeah, yeah, you're going to say, "I need to go to nursing school!"

Come up with a better answer. A MUCH better answer.

Kelli9715 · #5 02-17-2005, 03:20 PM

A much better answer? Free daycare, free rent, family and friends. I cannot afford to go to school fulltime and support my husband and kid living in Colorado. My husband does not help me out - he's a sweet guy but a lousy provider.

Silverplum · #6 02-17-2005, 03:33 PM

Aaahh....and here we are with the truth. You want to go live near your family, to benefit from their wisdom and free daycare.

Your husband is of no consequence to you, and you assume he is of no value to your daughter, because you plan to take your daughter to TX with you.

How would you like it if HE took the kid several states away from YOU? Did you stop to think about that?

(One good benefit of reading the previous posts on your topic of interest is that you might find out that you are all the same. In fact, I think there are really only about 118 people in the world, and 86 of them post on Free Advice about how to gain full "ownership" of their child over and over and over and over and over and over and over.....)

Kelli9715 · #7 02-17-2005, 04:54 PM

Wow, what did your mom do to you?

Silverplum · #8 02-17-2005, 05:12 PM

My mom and dad taught me that marriage vows are just that: lifelong promises that MEAN something. Not li'l whims that you drop when it's a little unfun, or when a wart (personality or otherwise) pops up.

My parents taught me to carefully select my husband: to choose a man that I can count on, that I can be friends with, that I can build a family with. They also taught me to be a woman that my husband can count on and be friends with, a woman with whom to build a family.

My parents also taught me to consider the effects of my actions upon others....I notice yours did not.

Wolflmg · #9 02-17-2005, 06:28 PM

What are your reasons for not taking your husband with you? If you love the guy, wouldn't you two stay together no matter what. A family is what sticks together no matter what. All your doing is taking his kid away from him for who knows how long, just so you can go to school. If he goes with you, you'll still have someone watching her for free.

trustknow1 · #10 10-24-2005, 06:51 AM

When you say "our best interests" whom are you referring to?

Your husbands best interest by not seeing his daughter?
Your child's best interest by taking away her father?

Or, your best interest, by being free from your husband, having free childcare available,(which you already have now with her father) and the freedom to live for a couple years pretending you are not married?

Let me guess your next question.... he should also pay you child support while you are experimenting,,,er, ah, sorry...I mean getting an education.

If you get that story to fly, I think you should consider going into sales, not nursing.

BelizeBreeze · #11 10-24-2005, 07:14 AM

Let's try a LEGAL answer now that the emotional games are over.

The LEGAL answer is yes, you can move with THE child up to the time your husband files for divorce. If he doesn't file and you move, then he can, at any time, drive or fly to texas and take the child back to colorado with him. THEN he can file for divorce with a restraining order against you and the child may not then be removed from Colorado.

You either need to file for divorce, wait until a court grants you permission to move and THEN move, or you need to get your priorities in order.

He has as much right to HIS daughter under law as you do. And until you establish residency in Texas, he can file for divorce (on the grounds of abandonment) and your butt will be back in colorado answering to a court why you deprived him of his child for your own needs.

Get the point?

EDIT TO ADD: And by the way, no matter with whom you leave the child, if hubby arrives and the caregiver refuses to give him possession of HIS child, you have just put them in danger of jail and a hefty criminal fine.

Now, you have some thinking to do.