unwed fathers

[koa]

california.
I recently got my girlfriend pregnant. I am financially stable in a career job with great benefits. She is in debt, no college degree, and holds a part time dead end job. Do I have any rights as the father to gain custody of this child?

[nextwife]

Unless she is proven unfit, basically unwed fathers are SOL for getting physical custody of their child, and to ask for joint physical and legal custody, and a restriction on move-aways. Get an attorney and fight to be INVOLVED with all aspects of your child's life as soon as possible- doctor's appointments, daycare decisions, regular time of your own, away from mom, with your child. Be able to show you are capable of parenting a newborn (yes, I know they don't make moms prove anything first). Even consider parenting classes- you'll look good in court asking for your own visitaion schedule if you've already taken parenting clases and have a safe crib, etc set up for baby time at your place.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by koa

california.
I recently got my girlfriend pregnant. I am financially stable in a career job with great benefits. She is in debt, no college degree, and holds a part time dead end job. Do I have any rights as the father to gain custody of this child?

Since, according to you, she is your gf and not your ex-gf, why do YOU want custody? Be more careful in choosing a partner next time you decide to have unprotected sex. No matter what, you kid is going to have that woman's genes, so think about that one.

[nextwife]

Yup. I always say that the single MOST important decision you will ever make for your child is who you choose as their other parent.

The ONLY time you get to "choose" the other parent for your child is BEFORE conception. If you want your future child to have an industrious, financially responsible parent who takes for granted that they have a responsibility to be self-sufficient and to put their child
s needs first, then THAT should be the kind of partner you limit yourself to dallying with!

[ezmarelda]

Originally Posted by koa

california.
I recently got my girlfriend pregnant. I am financially stable in a career job with great benefits. She is in debt, no college degree, and holds a part time dead end job. Do I have any rights as the father to gain custody of this child?

Ca is its own creature....I miss IAAL...

OP~ start reading and learn EVERYTHING you can about Ca custody laws it is much easier than some might think for a dad to gain custody

[url]http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/calawquery?codesection=fam&codebody=&hits=All[/url]
start around 3020

[url]http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/[/url]

good luck to all...you...mom...and mostly baby

Originally Posted by koa

california.
I recently got my girlfriend pregnant. I am financially stable in a career job with great benefits. She is in debt, no college degree, and holds a part time dead end job. Do I have any rights as the father to gain custody of this child?

untill paternity establishes you as the father, you have no rights. and you wont get custody based on what you posted, that doesnt make her unfit.the only reason you want custody is so you wont have to pay child support, isnt it?

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by koa

She is in debt, no college degree, and holds a part time dead end job.

So why did you think she was a good choice to make a baby with?

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by yourock

untill paternity establishes you as the father, you have no rights. and you wont get custody based on what you posted, that doesnt make her unfit.the only reason you want custody is so you wont have to pay child support, isnt it?

You know, it is no more fair to attribute the desire of a male parent to raise their child in their house to CS being paid, than it is to attribute the desire of a woman to be the CP in order to RECIECE CS. It is natural for most parents to want to RAISE their child in THEIR home, be they male or female. I sure didn't go out and become a parent so I could pay someone else for the joy of BEING the parent and living with my child, and would not want to pay them to do what I would rather be doing.

[weenor]

Originally Posted by yourock

the only reason you want custody is so you wont have to pay child support, isnt it?

This rationale is often placed upon the ncp when he/she is attempting to seeking custody. However, anyone with any sense understands that it costs a lot more to raise a child in your home than the lousy stipend of child support received each month. Are there situations where parents are blinded from reality because of anger? sure, but anyone with a half a brain would not seek custody "to avoid child support"

[AHA]

Originally Posted by weenor

but anyone with a half a brain would not seek custody "to avoid child support"

Although, plenty of men in the world don't even HAVE half a brain.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by AHA

Although, plenty of men in the world don't even HAVE half a brain.

Based upon some of our female posters, that malady crosses gender lines.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Based upon some of our female posters, that malady crosses gender lines.

True, and I'm furious that some idiot women stain our gender rep to any degree.

[koa]

I could give a damn about child support. The only real support this child is going to need is a parent who is intelligent enough to give the kid the right tools so he/she can be successfull in life. How is a single mom with no pot to piss in going to give a child something she does not possess. I want to be greatly involved in my child's life I just do not want the mother. But it seems if I do not want the mother I can't have my child because she will move out of state to live in her parents house because that is all she has.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by koa

I could give a damn about child support. The only real support this child is going to need is a parent who is intelligent enough to give the kid the right tools so he/she can be successfull in life. How is a single mom with no pot to piss in going to give a child something she does not possess. I want to be greatly involved in my child's life I just do not want the mother. But it seems if I do not want the mother I can't have my child because she will move out of state to live in her parents house because that is all she has.

Well, DUH, genius.

You don't have to live with or marry the mother. You DO have to deal with her for the next couple of decades.

[AHA]

Originally Posted by koa

I want to be greatly involved in my child's life I just do not want the mother.

That's the beauty/downfall about having unprotected sex, you committ yourself in certain ways to the other adult forever because you share a child.
You can be in your kid's life without banging mommy ever again, you know.