want to be parents...

[jesbear01]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma.

I'm not sure how these things work as I am a first time user of this board but I have a question that I can't seem to find an answer to on the web. My fiance and I have been together for two years now. We would like to get married soon(even though it is not legal in OK) and we were thinking about starting a family. My fiance wants to carry the baby, and choose a sperm donor that looks like me. Here's the thing; what happens if something were to happen to her? Being that the baby would biologically be from her, what's to keep her parents from taking our child from me? Her parents disprove of our relationship and that would be the first thing they did should something ever happen to her. I don't know what to do...does adoption work that way? Maybe some law that would allow me to legally adopt the baby so as to keep it in the even something ever happens? If someone knows an answer it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

[perroloco2]

Adoption would be a good idea. I'm not sure how easy it will be in OK according to the following articles:

[url]http://www.equalitygiving.org/Same-Sex-Parenting-Rights[/url]
[url]http://www.lambdalegal.org/our-work/states/oklahoma.html[/url]
[url]http://www.lambdalegal.org/news/pr/finstuen-victory.html[/url]
[url]http://www.boston.com/jobs/news/articles/2006/03/26/same_sex_couples_face_unique_adoption_hurdles/[/url]

Sounds like Lambda Legal would be a good place to start.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by jesbear01

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma.

I'm not sure how these things work as I am a first time user of this board but I have a question that I can't seem to find an answer to on the web. My fiance and I have been together for two years now. We would like to get married soon(even though it is not legal in OK) and we were thinking about starting a family. My fiance wants to carry the baby, and choose a sperm donor that looks like me. Here's the thing; what happens if something were to happen to her? Being that the baby would biologically be from her, what's to keep her parents from taking our child from me? Her parents disprove of our relationship and that would be the first thing they did should something ever happen to her. I don't know what to do...does adoption work that way? Maybe some law that would allow me to legally adopt the baby so as to keep it in the even something ever happens? If someone knows an answer it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

How old ARE EACH OF YOU? Why is it not legal in OK to marry? Age, same gender?

Do you and fiance each have the financial ability to support yourselves independently, provide health care and other needs for the child? Do you have A HOME of your own??

[jesbear01]

Originally Posted by nextwife

How old ARE EACH OF YOU? Why is it not legal in OK to marry? Age, same gender?

Do you and fiance each have the financial ability to support yourselves independently, provide health care and other needs for the child? Do you have A HOME of your own??

Sorry for not specifying...we are both female, and it isn't so much an illegal marriage in Oklahoma so much as an unrecognized marriage. We aren't looking at the next couple of months to have a baby or anything, I just was doing research to be well informed so as when the time comes we can do it right and not have the legal hassle. By the time we are planning, I will have a degree in visual science(dr. of optometry), she will have a masters in psychology and we will have built a house. I am currently looking into how we could do the health care thing, although I don't think it would be as much of a problem as I think it's going to be!

[jesbear01]

Originally Posted by perroloco2

Adoption would be a good idea. I'm not sure how easy it will be in OK according to the following articles:

[url=http://www.equalitygiving.org/Same-Sex-Parenting-Rights]eQualityGiving - Same Sex Parenting Rights[/url]
[url=http://www.lambdalegal.org/our-work/states/oklahoma.html]Lambda Legal: Oklahoma[/url]
[url=http://www.lambdalegal.org/news/pr/finstuen-victory.html]Lambda Legal: U. S. Court of Appeals Upholds Decision Striking Down Oklahoma?s Adoption Invalidation Law in Lawsuit Brought by Lambda Legal[/url]
[url=http://www.boston.com/jobs/news/articles/2006/03/26/same_sex_couples_face_unique_adoption_hurdles/]Same-sex couples face unique adoption hurdles - The Boston Globe[/url]

Sounds like Lambda Legal would be a good place to start.

Thanks for the excellent links! I went ahead and looked at each of them and the second one on the list actually states that second parent adoption isn't recognized by the state of Oklahoma(not a problem since we plan to move anyways ) Thank you for the help and I think that I'll put Lambda Legal in my favorites for future reference!