we need legal advice not preached at..

What is the name of your state? arkansas

what i mean is we are trying to get married legally and do the right thing in most of these cases. we are asking for help. we do not want to be preached at. do you not think that is what our families have done. and our friends. most of us are trying do the right thing here. and all i see is preaching and judging. yes i understand it is gonna be hard. but if i do something wrong and my fiance' ends up in jail what good is that when my baby has to see his father in jail... please help not preach...

The age of consent may be 16, but that is different from the age of being able to get married. Age of consent means just that he can't be charged with rape if you were 16 when you had sex. You guys might still not be able to get married though. Just call the courthouse and ask them.

All that being said, what are you going to do with a child? How are you going to support it? Don't you wonder why your "fiance" can't find a woman his own age? And finally, please don't take the baby to see him in jail.

I'm not preaching...I'm just trying to understand. I will also say this...babies don't make things easier. They make life infinitely more difficult.

he is working two jobs now is making good money owns his own house and truck... he can find women his oown age i pursued him... he is hot i a chased him... ok now that is settled... i love him he loves me ok.. i know i am trying to help us get married ok parents are not helpful here and will be less when and if i am pregnant. i just want to be married to him and move on with our lives... ok...

Sounds like you've got it all figured out. You've already established the age of consent is 16 in your state. Now all you have to do is call the courthouse and find out if 16-year-olds can get married without parental consent. Best of luck to you.

It only took a couple minutes to find the age requirements for marriage by state. No state was less than 18, some were 19 and even 21. Arkansas is 18. You won't be able to get married without parental consent.

[kat1963]

Yes, there is a way to do it without parental consent at your age. However, your parents will be notified by certified mail and the license is held for 3 days before you can get married. So you'll have to stay in that state for that period of time, you'll also have to have a blood test (for syph), bring witnesses, picture ID, social security card and birth certificate.

I'd tell you, but ya' know, you seem to have everything soooo worked out, you can figure this one out on your own as well.

And this doesn't however, stop your parents from trying to obtain a judges order to invalidate the marriage and force you to move back home.

Don't blame us, your parents or anyone else when you're 25 years old and banging your head against the wall because way back when you were 16, you thought you knew everything there was to life.

KAT

did not say i had it all figured out... and i read some of what you read also but the laws are confusing... i am sorry for blowing up at everyone. but i am a responsible person so is my fiance' but we really want to be married. i could be on here asking how to find him after he knocked me up... no i am wanting to know if i am preg. how we can get married... or if we can get married regardless of parental consent.. i mena he wants to be in my life and i want to be apart of his.

Well, you can't. Unless Kat is on to something. The idea of sending a certified letter to your folks. Not sure what that's all about, but you could check into it. So, you might not be pregnant?

i think what kat is looking at is the mississippi law... 15 to 17 not require parental consent. but you have to have blood test... and wait three days... before marriage is legal... that might be an option... i might not be preg... waiting patiently... would not matter either way we want kids in the future if one is here now then that is ok also...

[Grace_Adler]

If you want a child now you are out of your freakin' mind!!!

I would tell you all the things that could happen but you probably think it won't happen to you and you don't want to hear it anyway. But I can almost promise you, if you have a child now, you'll wish you had listened to us. We're not trying to be mean and judge you. We are trying to save you alot of grief and heartache. All of us are older than you and have been around the block more than you and yes with age for most people wisdom comes also. Don't you think you're smarter than a 10 year old? Or a 12 year old? So wouldn't someone twice your age be a little wiser? And as for your parents, if they didn't preach to you then to me that would mean they didn't care. And when you have kids you're going to find out that you're parents were right and why they were on your case. I know you've heard it all before, but in this case, we're right. Like I said, we're only trying to help.

And from now on, please continue the subject on the same thread. I don't know who you were referring to when you started this one.

BTW, I hear SC may be an option also.

Thanks and best wishes to you.

[Grace_Adler]

Well, since I'm the only one who responded to your other post I guess you were talking to me.

I didn't "preach" to you on the other thread and I did try to give you some helpful info. I haven't even begun to preach yet but I can if you want me to. I can take ya to church.

Now I'm extremely mild compared to alot of people on here. If you want to see some real preaching and judgement on this forum I'll be happy to give you some links.

no grace i appologize you and everyone i was reading some other threads from other people and it seems like the majority of the threads are not helpful just preachful and you did give some good advice.. i am just frustrated is all... with my parents and everything i guess...

[HomeGuru]

[quote]Originally posted by rachaelmillheim
[b]no grace i appologize you and everyone i was reading some other threads from other people and it seems like the majority of the threads are not helpful just preachful and you did give some good advice.. i am just frustrated is all... with my parents and everything i guess...

**A: thanks for telling the truth.

[Grace_Adler]

That's ok. And you're right, there can be alot of harshness on here and on the internet in general. Unfortunately that's the way alot of people are.

I understand you're probably under alot of stress right now. I do remember 16. LOL.

Honestly, this is just friendly advice, and you may have heard it before. If you guys really love each other then time shouldn't be an issue. If you're not pregant how about being really cautious and using condoms, spermicide and if birth control is a possibilty that too. You don't want to get him in any trouble. You guys just take it easy till you're 18 and if you still want to get married, fine. There's no rush. You can start college or start some kind of career, that way if you guys ever split up or God forbid something happens to him you will be self sufficient. You won't have to rely on someone to help you out. It's hard enough taking care of yourself but it's even harder when you have children. They are a wake up call. They change your life forever. I just can't stress to you enough to become self sufficient before you have kids because anything can happen. And I don't mean working for $7 or $8 an hour either cuz that's not enough to live off of. Just please think about all of this. Shoot, join in on some parenting classes just for the heck of it and talk to other mothers. It will give you lots of knowledge and insight. I'm sure you'll be a great mother one day. I just think you'll be glad if you wait. I know, I'm one that wants things to happen over night and it's hard to wait, but I think you'll be glad if you do, when you look back.

If you are pregnant, it's gonna be a hard road I think. Especially if your parents are totally against the marriage. That's going to be hard. I would still suggest taking some parenting classes. That way you can bond with other people. Maybe their are some other support groups in your area that you can check into.

I still don't like the idea of a 25 year old being with a 16 year old though. LOL! And sorry, but I don't support that part at all.

well i know this no excuse for hiim but i pursued him for awhile. he was very resistant to talking with me then with his feelings then with actually then dating me... he is a great guy... most people have been supportive though cause he is a great guy...