What would you call it????

[1Grasshopper]

What is the name of your state? Illinois but the question is about Kansas law.I won't go into the full details, but My mother married a man name Schmidty.That's the name on my birth certificate.I was born in 19xx which is 4 years before they were married. Iasked how this could be and I was tlod that I was born out of wedlock(no kidding)so was my brother who ws born 3 years later. My mother married Schmidtyand said she put his last name on the certificate and that is our last name.? My questions are
1. Is that considered adoption?

2.Would my real name be what it is or would it be my mother's maiden name, or blank, or Joe sinse my middle name is Joe.

3.Was/Is that legal?

4.I know that it must be legal now , somehow, but it's been bugging me for a long time.

[fairisfair]

your answers are

No that is not considered adoption

Your name is what it is on your birth certificate

Is it legal, yes

Now stop letting it bug you.

[Caveman]

Is this because you have a boring name and really wanted a cool one when they sang the "name game " song at camp?

Tis okay to want to kinda know your roots but wanta know it for the right reasons kiddo.

[nextwife]

That IS your last name. But it may not make you legally his son.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by nextwife

That IS your last name. But it may not make you legally his son.

Actually, it sounds like mom may have done what I heard a judge call a "back door" adoption. It sounds like "dad" signed the AOP and got put on the BC, when the children were a few years old....whether he was actually the bio-dad or not.

That happened to one of my best friends. Her mother married when she was two, and her husband signed the AOP and got put on the BC even though he wasn't actually her father. She didn't find out until she was in her mid twenties.

[1Grasshopper]

It has just made me curious, because I 've need to know the legalities of it that's all.Why is it that most of you people , who by the way are suppose to be here to help us who do not know the law to find out more, are smart asses toward the people you give the answers to , that's really annoying, or is it that you get so rapped up in you legal talk that you don't know how to carey on a civil conversation.

To the ones who replied straight forward, Thank You.

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by 1Grasshopper

It has just made me curious, because I 've need to know the legalities of it that's all.Why is it that most of you people , who by the way are suppose to be here to help us who do not know the law to find out more, are smart asses toward the people you give the answers to , that's really annoying, or is it that you get so rapped up in you legal talk that you don't know how to carey on a civil conversation.

To the ones who replied straight forward, Thank You.

Well, I did answer you straight forward, and will happily do so again.

The posters here help on a volunteer basis. You may have noticed YOU AREN'T PAYING FOR THIS.

That puts you in a position of being oh, let's say a lot less pushy and rude, and a lot more thankful. You are in NO position to dictate who responds to your posts, or the manner in which they respond. And exactly why is it that you think anyone here owes you anything at all, or is "supposed" to be doing any particular thing??

[pcgumshoe]

Originally Posted by 1Grasshopper

It has just made me curious, because I 've need to know the legalities of it that's all.Why is it that most of you people , who by the way are suppose to be here to help us who do not know the law to find out more, are smart asses toward the people you give the answers to , that's really annoying, or is it that you get so rapped up in you legal talk that you don't know how to carey on a civil conversation.

To the ones who replied straight forward, Thank You.

Grasshopper, I agree with you completely, it is as if lawyers (and those who think they are Perry Mason) don't get enough digs and winnings in the office/court room so they have to come here to do it.

Now to your point, and I don't believe your name is really Schmidty, but if it is, it is a great German Name!

Here's how the same thing happened to me:

In high-school biology class, we were discussing dominant and recessive genes. We were going through the hair and eye color of my sisters and my parents and my teacher, Mr. Dodd, said, "Scott, that's impossible! You better have a talk with the postman!" And everybody got a good laugh. I had suspicions that my "DAD" wasn't my real "FATHER." I let those feelings go for about 2-3 more years and then one day I said to my mom's sister, "And I don't even then my dad is my real father!" It became suddenly quiet. I had learned the awful truth.

When I confronted my mother she took me to a park and explained to me that "DAD" wasn't my real father, but that he has been everything a father should be to me. She further explained HOW his name is on my birth certificate as my father.

Back in 1969 (when I was born), my mother got pregnant (so did 2 other woman by the same man!). When my mom confronted the sperm donor, he was confronted with a choice of who to marry. He didn't pick my mom (my grandfather didn't carry a shotgun until he decided to put it to his head and kill himself many years later, but I digress).

When I was born, my mother was asked the name of the father. My mother replied, "Father Unknown." And from 1969 to 1974 my name was probably the same as my mom's.

In 1974, my mother and her newly married husband along with my great-grand-mother went down to the county registrar's office. In that office they filed a piece of paper (no court necessary) and swore under penalty of perjury that the statements they were making to be the truth. On that paper, my Dad was added as my "FATHER" and it has remained there since then.

Now, technically, what they did was illegal because they lied. My mother knew this man wasn't my father and she knew who the dad was.

Now my birth name, as far as the hospital would have been concerned, would have been whatever my mother wanted it to say, but tradition in that scenario would be my mother's maiden name. Probably also true for you.

As far as the "adoption" issue, I'll leave that to the polite legal advice you got here earlier... it isn't unheard of as adoptions aren't free. Think of the benefits that you gain (in some senses)... but then there are also the detriments, like the feeling of having been lied to for so many years and not knowing who to trust and believe any more.

On your issue number 4, guess what, it's going to bother you until you can deal with it. If dealing with it means confronting you mother or father, you might have to do that. You may want to seek some mental health counseling because these issue can have life-long effects (and believe me the prudes on here are going to jump ALL OVER ME for this las part). I know you can't "get over it," but in time it will be easier. If your situation is like mine, where your birth certificate had been amended and the old one sealed, you will more than likely have to go to court. If at court you can prove that the person on the birth certificate is not your real father, it may be an issue for the court to decide how to undue what has been done, but again, I'll leave that to the legal gurus with all the attitude to address.

I was fortunate that I found out who my father really was, but only after he died in a plane crash. His girlfriend, at the time, was also pregnant (He had good sperm) and she wanted to insure a piece of his estate went to this unborn child. When he was pronounced dead, a request was made (and I'm sure it wasn't legal) that a sample of his blood be taken for paternity testing of the unborn child. In the resulting estate case, my grandmother (my real father's mother who was pissed at my mom for cutting her off from me when I was young - and who was pissed at me for taking charge of her bungling of my father's estate) contested my claim to my real father's estate. I had my blood drawn and was found to be 99.97% likely to be his child... they tried to argue that there still was that .03% chance and that if my mother had donated a sample there'd be more certainty. The court ruled for me and I fought that battle and represented myself (BTW) and did rather well! But it isn't for the faint of heart.

I hope I've shown you more compassion in my response than others, there are a lot of people out here in situations just like this, some want to know, others don't seem to care, maybe they all became lawyers

[fairisfair]

compassion All you did is talk about yourself. Since when is that compassion???

[pcgumshoe]

Originally Posted by fairisfair

compassion All you did is talk about yourself. Since when is that compassion???

Law is free from compassion

But you are right, I had a Perry Mason moment when I had a colorful story, or was it an Alan Shore moment? Surely not a Denny Crane, but you're still a lawyer!

[1Grasshopper]

pcgumshoe,thank you for your reply!Although it is true that I did not need you history to believe you, it showed how close the circumstances could be and are.True it bugged me for a while, I confronted the real father he didn't what to meet me, but the reast of the family acceplted what I had to say, took pictures, talked to other family members and they agreed.I might get into a similar situatioclose to what you discribed and I didn't want to have it blow up in my face because of " legalities."

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by 1Grasshopper

pcgumshoe,thank you for your reply!Although it is true that I did not need you history to believe you, it showed how close the circumstances could be and are.True it bugged me for a while, I confronted the real father he didn't what to meet me, but the reast of the family acceplted what I had to say, took pictures, talked to other family members and they agreed.I might get into a similar situatioclose to what you discribed and I didn't want to have it blow up in my face because of " legalities."

No one here was rude to you. You appear to have some misplaced sense of entitlement.

And you and pcgumshoe seem to be having your own little kodak moment.

[pcgumshoe]

Fair, although I don't share the same sentiment with regards to the violence or threat there of, I prefer to challenge people like you in a battle of wits. What grasshopper has said, albeit not as eloquently as someone who graduated from law school, is completely true about the trolls like you on this board.

I think the concept of free advice is a great one, and to specialize in "Law" or "Legal" discussion, brilliant, but it takes a learned man to understand where some of you are coming from. Even an learned man may take insult to you innuendo. Personally, I find it like lawyer locker room talk, That's all some of you people here do.

My tirade, or story, or long-winded speech about how my situation compares to grasshoppers was one to show him that he is not alone. I have surely posted at least two posts on here that nobody came to my side and said, "Wow, the same thing happened to me..." or somebody they know. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, but empathy is sometimes part of solutions.

I really don't care if you are a lawyer. If I had access to Lexis/Nexus I could quote and cite with the best of you, if I wanted.

It's funny, when I start posting on here I think of those new government advertising campaigns about not posting something that you wouldn't say to somebody's face. Grasshopper has surely pointed out why someone as potentially smart as you wouldn't say such stupid things to him, because it might cause you bodily harm. I guess I'm lucky that I'm a big guy and I can take care of my physical person. You must be a very small person with a very big head (in both the good and the bad sense).

I think I will stick around here and add my, we'll say "unusual," but obvious free advice if nothing more than to stir up the bee in the bonnets of people like you who think you are so smart... by your own signature, you are not. I am.

[Ohiogal]

Fair, although I don't share the same sentiment with regards to the violence or threat there of, I prefer to challenge people like you in a battle of wits. What grasshopper has said, albeit not as eloquently as someone who graduated from law school, is completely true about the trolls like you on this board.

First of all, Fair is not a troll. Second of all, fair was not being rude or violent. Third of all, not everyone on here went to law school let alone passed the bar and practices law -- some didn't even graduate high school I am sure.

I think the concept of free advice is a great one, and to specialize in "Law" or "Legal" discussion, brilliant, but it takes a learned man to understand where some of you are coming from.

And quite frankly, again, the people on here are not all attorneys. Some have just taken the time to get to know the law. Some just like to talk (or write) to see their words online and others just prattle on for no reason at all.

Even an learned man may take insult to you innuendo. Personally, I find it like lawyer locker room talk, That's all some of you people here do.

Damn. And you manage to be crude, sexist and insulting in one line. Not all attorneys are men. Not all use such language as you describe nor do all attorneys act like you have stated. Apparently you know nothing of what you speak or have very limited dealings with attorneys. But to be so sexist and insulting to an entire profession is ridiculous.

My tirade, or story, or long-winded speech about how my situation compares to grasshoppers was one to show him that he is not alone. I have surely posted at least two posts on here that nobody came to my side and said, "Wow, the same thing happened to me..." or somebody they know. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, but empathy is sometimes part of solutions.

It is also part of thread hijacking. You can be compassionate without hijacking the thread with your life story.

I really don't care if you are a lawyer. If I had access to Lexis/Nexus I could quote and cite with the best of you, if I wanted.

Anyone that wants it has access to lexis for free. You just have to know where to look. And being able to cite things matter not if you do not comprehend the context that the cites are in.

It's funny, when I start posting on here I think of those new government advertising campaigns about not posting something that you wouldn't say to somebody's face. Grasshopper has surely pointed out why someone as potentially smart as you wouldn't say such stupid things to him, because it might cause you bodily harm.

Fair didn't say anything wrong to Grasshopper. And Grasshopper's threats are a good way to get him banned.

I guess I'm lucky that I'm a big guy and I can take care of my physical person. You must be a very small person with a very big head (in both the good and the bad sense).

I think I will stick around here and add my, we'll say "unusual," but obvious free advice if nothing more than to stir up the bee in the bonnets of people like you who think you are so smart... by your own signature, you are not. I am.

Threatening physical harm to another poster IS not a way to stay around> Nor is ganging up on senior members. Joining grasshopper's bandwagon when Grass has threatened fair is not a smart move.