is this blackmail?

[cockerspaniel]

First, to ablessin: you have no idea what you're talking about. You're making huge assumptions, and you do not have the details. That's all I have to say - it's not worth my energy to go after you; you are so far off that it's ridiculous.
To rmet4nzkx: I appreciate your input. My intial reaction was incredible hurt and betrayal, and wanting back what I feel was lost as a direct result of his exploitation/abuse. The only real thing he can give me is money, which would buy me time. In my first posting, the realization of what had happened was very new, and shocking. There was a strong feeling of wanting him to fix what he did. Civil lawsuits result in monetary rewards, because there really is no real way to replace what the victim has lost. Every person I have spoken with who deal with these situations has told me that he, as the professional, is responsible. Believe me, I argued with that point of view, and I still have a very hard time with it. My goal now is to try to have some good come of this very unfortunate situation. I am not going to do anything to hurt anyone. Chances are, I will just have to accept it and move on. Thank God he didn't leave his wife. I didn't want that at all. Over time, it became clear that this was a huge mistake, and I was relieved that it cam to an ending. Ironically, it was being away from the situation that allowed me to see what I had been denying for so long. This is not the conclusion I wanted to come to. It's been a shock, and very painful. I've have spoken with him several time, and I am not at all trying to blackmail him. However, I think talking about my options made him wake up and face the truth. Which he is doing. I am positive that if the transference/countert. had been handled correctly, this situation would never have occured, and I would still be married. I feel completely betrayed by someone who was suppose to be helping me, and then by someone who supposedly "loved" me. In the end, I have to live with this.

 

[reviewphysician]

First, to ablessin: you have no idea what you're talking about. You're making huge assumptions, and you do not have the details. That's all I have to say - it's not worth my energy to go after you; you are so far off that it's ridiculous.
To rmet4nzkx: I appreciate your input. My intial reaction was incredible hurt and betrayal, and wanting back what I feel was lost as a direct result of his exploitation/abuse. The only real thing he can give me is money, which would buy me time. In my first posting, the realization of what had happened was very new, and shocking. There was a strong feeling of wanting him to fix what he did. Civil lawsuits result in monetary rewards, because there really is no real way to replace what the victim has lost. Every person I have spoken with who deal with these situations has told me that he, as the professional, is responsible. Believe me, I argued with that point of view, and I still have a very hard time with it. My goal now is to try to have some good come of this very unfortunate situation. I am not going to do anything to hurt anyone. Chances are, I will just have to accept it and move on. Thank God he didn't leave his wife. I didn't want that at all. Over time, it became clear that this was a huge mistake, and I was relieved that it cam to an ending. Ironically, it was being away from the situation that allowed me to see what I had been denying for so long. This is not the conclusion I wanted to come to. It's been a shock, and very painful. I've have spoken with him several time, and I am not at all trying to blackmail him. However, I think talking about my options made him wake up and face the truth. Which he is doing. I am positive that if the transference/countert. had been handled correctly, this situation would never have occured, and I would still be married. I feel completely betrayed by someone who was suppose to be helping me, and then by someone who supposedly "loved" me. In the end, I have to live with this.

You are certainly the most contradictory writer I have ever come across.
1.Today you are thanking God that he didnt leave his wife and that the affair came to an end. but I was of the impression that the end brought, dumping, hurt, shock, betrayal and wanting him to fix what he did by paying you cold cash. That dosent sound like you are really thankful for the end result
2. Few days ago you said that your marraige didnt break up because of the affair. here, today, you are saying that you would still have remained married if not for the affair.
3 I was of the impression that transference/ counter transference is for Doctor -patient realtionship. But by the time the affair started you weren’t his patient anymore.
4.You said he was the one that mishandled the situation. How come his marriage is still intact and yours blew to hell?

I think you were stocking this doctor. why else would he dump you as a patient? and he must have explained the situation to the wife. why else would they still be together after these years of "love" affair with you?.

You sure make an interesting read.

 

[ENASNI]

um To The OP

Did not read all thru these... You did get another therapist...YES?


A female one?

 

[cockerspaniel]

To Dr. Nwaizuzu:
The "contradictions" are a result of your assumptions, personal projections, and ignorance.
1) the end brought relief that no one got hurt and time away from the situation which allowed me to recognize the abuse that had occurred.
2) if the doctor had handled the transference/countertransference properly, there would never have BEEN an affair.
3) per the American Psychiatric Association - once a patient, always a patient.
4) he mishandled THERAPY; he handled the "affair" quite well.
5) he didn't dump me as a patient
Exactly what kind of a dr are you?
By the way, you are not "relentlessly positive."

To enasni:
Yes, I'm seeing a therapist and psychiatrist - both female. Also my minister, also female.