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Just to let you know, my daughter is also intellectually impaired due to oxygen deprivation. (I was prepared for this.) And the reason I addressed "ruining a doctor's reputation" was in response to someone's previous comment. (My parents taught me not to roll my eyes.) I am not asking for a public flogging of the doctor but sometimes doctors do make mistakes. That's what I am exploring. I am just asking for informed opinions.
My daughter is currently at The Blind School working to achieve a certificate (life skills) rather than earn a diploma. Her brain was damaged somewhere along the way, probably by lack of oxygen when she was being ventilated for weeks on end, sick with pneumonia, etc.
I am wondering why would you assume that I am unfamiliar with Daniel Kish? I find that fascinating. I have a very strong grasp on the people who populate the visually impaired community of which my daughter is a part. I've had the last 17+ years to do research, learn and try to navigate this However, since you brought it up, there are very few comparisons to be made between my daughter and Daniel Kish. Daniel lost his eyesight - his eyeballs, actually - when he was just over a year old from a cancer known as retinoblastoma. Daniel was born at a normal gestational age, remaining protected inside his mother's womb for the duration of her pregnancy. My daughter was born twelve weeks early, weighing one pound, three ounces. Her brain developed outside the womb and under no circumstances is that the ideal. She may be able to learn echolocation ... the skill that Daniel has perfected ... but she's not going to be the one to meticulously document it and figure out how to teach it. Her birth experience would be more accurately compared to Stevie Wonder, who also suffered from retinopathy of prematurity. Stevie Wonder, however, was born just six weeks premature. And try as I might, I haven't been able to teach Grace how to play the harmonica. (Read up on it. That's the instrument that Stevie Wonder played that impressed Barry Gordy enough to sign him. Barry Gordy didn't even like his voice. )
I could go on.
It's astonishing to me that you would assume I have no knowledge of the people who populate my daughter's visually impaired community. I haven't been sitting around for 17 years doing nothing and hoping that the sky would one day open up and hand me the keys to the kingdom.
I came here to ask a question. I wonder what makes you so angry that I feel conflicted about this issue. Perhaps it's that I don't understand legalities as well as you. Assuming you are an attorney, I guess that makes sense.
I do appreciate your deep and thoughtful insight. And thank you for the kind words about my visual (sic) impaired daughter. That - how was it you phrased it - that she "has a future, just not the path planned." Yes. Damn. All 5'2" of me planned to have a child that played in the NBA. Or at the very least, in the Big 10 Tournament. Oh, that would have made my mom so happy. Big 10 ball was a huge hit in our house. My mom adored Bobby Knight.
I don't recall providing you with a map of the future I had perfectly planned for my daughter before life so rudely (and inevitably) got in our way.
I assume your are intimately familiar with the philosophy of poet and artist Khalil Gibran. I very much subscribe - both on a cerebral and emotional level - to what he wrote about children and our role as a parent. I thank my 7th grade English teacher for introducing me to his work and believing that even a little WASPY girl who grew up in a Midwestern town of 1,000 people had a mind that could stretch to understand the abstract concepts put forth by Gibran.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
All that I am when you get right down it it is a well-intended mom asking for help navigating some rough waters. Asking for help is an exercise in humility. It shouldn't be humiliating.
It's been said those who give with joy get joy back as their reward. And those who give with pain find that pain is their baptism.