Mother passed away July 2008.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by fordwheeler

Alright, I am officially frustrated with this advice forum. I understand my Mothers privacy. BUT, why would my mother sit there and ask us over and over again for the last 6 months of her life what she had and why she wasn't getting better? And she kept asking us to tell her and I qoute, "if I'm dying you really need to tell me."

I can beat this forever. It is something that will haunt me the rest of my life.
Privacy is one thing, not being told is another. For example: if doctor tells me I have terminal cancer I can make decisions that would ensure my family was taken care of. Plan for funeral, etc. So my family can grieve in peace. My mother was denied this and frankly, it pisses me off. I wanted to strangle this doctor. I and most of the family as well.

So far no one on here has blatantly answered my questions. Other than saying that I had no right to know. There may not be anything I can do about it. But, I can't just let it go without trying. Thanks everyone.

okay....i reread your thread.

here's the thing. when your mom asked you, did you talk to her doctor and let him know mom was unaware of her diagnosis?

[should_I_ask]

Originally Posted by fordwheeler

I had expected the same, not a doctor that would just totally ignore the questions we asked.

As clarification, I do not have written proof that she was not told. Only witnesses that were with her during her appointments. Either my Grandmother or her boyfriend were with her during all her appointments.

as far as your grandmother asking whether or not someone could find out what was going on, there is a certain amount of oxygen deprivement 'forgetfulness' associated that could be a possible cause. The other is if she had an infection, coupled with a probable dehydration issue, coupled with her O2 sats being down could well explain at least part of the issue.

I am sorry for your loss, its so hard to bury a loved one....

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by hopekendrick

I know you have to be frusterated with some of these post, and some of them aren't even giving you answers at all. I would say that it was your mothers doctors place to have had a meeting with all of you

Please provide OP with the legal statutes supporting this.

, like when he first found it 7 months before. He should have and most doctors do if a patient is terminally ill and has a kids especially. He should have told her and then.

OP is unable to prove that his Mother wasn't told.

[Proserpina]

My mother was denied this and frankly, it pisses me off. I wanted to strangle this doctor. I and most of the family as well.

So far no one on here has blatantly answered my questions. Other than saying that I had no right to know. There may not be anything I can do about it. But, I can't just let it go without trying. Thanks everyone.

Nobody was with your Mother 24/7 while she was hospitalized. It is not unusual for patients to be seen by their physicians/treatment team outside of the "usual" hours - in fact my late husband was initially told of his prognosis during a non-emergency setting at around 2am. Not during an appointment, not during a treatment session. He was simply an in-patient.

Your question of "are there laws which make it mandatory for a physician to not only give his patient the terminal prognosis, but the patient's family too" (I'm paraphrasing) has been answered, and by several people.

There are no laws giving anyone other than the patient or the patient's legally appointed representative the right to access, inquire about or otherwise be involved with either the patient's treatment or their medical records. Some physicians will share information if asked, should they deem it necessary. Some won't. Nor are there any laws requiring a physician to consult with anyone other than, again, the patient or the patient's legal guardian or representative.

[wyett717]

Alright, I am officially frustrated with this advice forum.

Your feelings are understandable; we all get frustrated when we don't hear the answers we want. However, you are seeking legal advice, and that's what you have been given.

As mentioned many times in this thread, doctors are not required to inform a patient's family of their condition. They will generally inform the patient in order to respect the patient's decision-making abilities. That being said, if the physician felt it was not in your mother's best interest to know (i.e. she was mentally incompetent), he did not have to tell her. People with chronic respiratory maladies often experience memory loss due to insufficient oxygen supply to the brain (hence leading to incompetence). Health care not only involves a plethora of legal concerns, but ethics play a significant role as well.

I wish you well in managing your grief.