Adultery

[confusedgal]

What is the name of your state? Florida

I was recently in a relationship with a guy in the military( no im not military). When I met him he didnt tell me he was married. He didnt tell me about him being married until after he sent me a text saying " i love you" and after i had already fallen inlove with him. His friends didnt even tell me he was married. When he did finally tell me i walked away but we ended up talking again that night. The night he told me he was married he also told me that he had told his wife things werent working out. We did end up having sexual intercourse that night and another night ( i was under the impression that his marriage was going to end). Then he tells me that she busted him and that we cant see eachother until things "cool down" Then he tells me that the reasons he ended it was because she changed the way she was acting towards him, but still wants to remain friend with me. Now hes saying its because i "flipped out" and i have kids.

He contstantly led me on and even got killed during war games for talking to me on the phone during it. We were constantly texting eacother or on the phone talking or going out together.
My question is: If I report him what will or could happen to him? A part of me wants to report him because I believe what he did was wrong. Another part of me doesnt want to because I dont want to ruin his career. But I feel like i'm the one paying for his actions. If i had known from the beginning he was married I would have never let things go like they did. He says he didnt intend things to go so far and either of us fall inlove so fast.

A couple friends of mine said that he would probably just get a "slap on the wrist" until i told them how he was talking to me on the phone during war games n he got killed because of it. And even after they killed him for talking on the phone during he still called me and talked to me. (No they didnt take his phone from him) After telling my friends that they said he can kiss his career goodbye. : /

[dallas702]

Yeah, he's a rat. But what does that make you?

Send a nice note to his wife and forget about him. He is her problem, not yours.

[jmwsf]

He can kiss is career goodbye for the adultry alone...Hey its his fault, I would tell his wife so that she knows and isn't made a fool of...

[dallas702]

You were the willing other half, and so you think revenge is how to fix it all? You need to just learn from it and let it go.

[acmb05]

Originally Posted by jmwsf

He can kiss is career goodbye for the adultry alone...Hey its his fault, I would tell his wife so that she knows and isn't made a fool of...

But not very likely that will happen. He may get a slap on the wrist but more than likely would get a high five. The military does not frown on it like they used to. They usually only use it now-adays to tack on more charges for a more serious offense.

As far as the war games your word against his. Probably get a slap on the wrist for that to.

[rmet4nzkx]

Yes he can get into trouble for violating the UCMJ even though you both participated in this, you are not the first and not the last. Contact his command, and JAG, they can subpoena the text messages. It is very disconcerting that he would behave that way during war games.

[confusedgal]

Thank you all very much.

As far as it being his word against mine, to prove that we talked during war games all i have to do is go to my cell company and get a print out of calls and how long. He called me from his cell phone to mine so getting that proof wouldnt be hard to do. When he got killed for being on the phone we talked almost the whole time he was killed (2 hrs i believe) and that wasnt the only time he talked during war games.

What gets me is he knows he can get in trouble for what he did and still did it and hes going to Law school. Someone said that what he did can and may affect his Law career. Im not sure if thats so though. I dont see why it would. Im already debating whether to report him and that just makes it harder on me. Him having a little boy and knowing that if i report him his son could lose his benefits isnt what i want.Not to mention his mother in law knows my mother, so that would cause a big mess. They go to the same Thai church every week. My mom already knows the whole story, I've told her incase it comes out. His mother in law and wife only knows bits and pieces. They just know what we talked about on the computer. He said she just "thinks" he was "thinking" about cheating that she doesnt know he actually did.

[acmb05]

Originally Posted by confusedgal

Thank you all very much.

As far as it being his word against mine, to prove that we talked during war games all i have to do is go to my cell company and get a print out of calls and how long. He called me from his cell phone to mine so getting that proof wouldnt be hard to do. When he got killed for being on the phone we talked almost the whole time he was killed (2 hrs i believe) and that wasnt the only time he talked during war games.

What gets me is he knows he can get in trouble for what he did and still did it and hes going to Law school. Someone said that what he did can and may affect his Law career. Im not sure if thats so though. I dont see why it would. Im already debating whether to report him and that just makes it harder on me. Him having a little boy and knowing that if i report him his son could lose his benefits isnt what i want.Not to mention his mother in law knows my mother, so that would cause a big mess. They go to the same Thai church every week. My mom already knows the whole story, I've told her incase it comes out. His mother in law and wife only knows bits and pieces. They just know what we talked about on the computer. He said she just "thinks" he was "thinking" about cheating that she doesnt know he actually did.

If he called you then you are going to havae to supeona his phone logs because on a cell phone incoming calls cant be tracked back to the number called. All it will show on your bill is an incoming call not who called you.

His bill however will have the number he called in his billing statement. So you would have to get his copies not yours.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by acmb05

If he called you then you are going to havae to supeona his phone logs because on a cell phone incoming calls cant be tracked back to the number called. All it will show on your bill is an incoming call not who called you.

His bill however will have the number he called in his billing statement. So you would have to get his copies not yours.

And again INCORRECT!

[acmb05]

He would probably end up with a company grade article15 which in most cases will not involve any jail time but it can bar him from re-enlistment, take half his pay for up to 6 months, and confine him to barracks for up to 6 months( last one usually does not happen if they have children), and loss of rank.

[acmb05]

Originally Posted by BelizeBreeze

And again INCORRECT!

I have already had to do it. Take a look at your cell phone bill and see for yourself. All it says is incoming calls. Then call your cell phone company they will tell you the same thing

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by acmb05

I have already had to do it. Take a look at your cell phone bill and see for yourself. All it says is incoming calls. Then call your cell phone company they will tell you the same thing

Then post here every cellular company's billing procedures and every phones capabilities.

OR, quit making statements that are nothing more than supposition.

and yes, I receive not only a cell phone bill every month for MY phone that lists the calling number and the time and date, but also the duration of the call and the same for all 6 phones in the company.

[acmb05]

Because according to Sprint, verizon, nextel, and a couple others it is not done that way.

All incoming calls are listed as that on the phone bills. If you get an incoming call it does not show the number the call came from on your bill only that it was an incoming call.

When you make an outgoing call it does show the number called and the date and duration.

[acmb05]

Here is what I am told. According to them no cell phone company can give you a list of INCOMMING calls to YOUR phone unless you first file a malicious call report with the police and then they can trace calls TO YOU PHONE up to 45 days back from the day they start.

They will then forward that call list to the police department who requested the information.

Incomming call numbers are NOT listed on a persons phone bill nor are they accessible to anyone but law enforcement.

[Spoiled77]

You have to be kidding me. You are seriously going to go through all that crap to get some guy in trouble because you are upset that he is married?? Get over it and move on. You even said your self that YOU slept with him even after finding out he was married so I guess it didnt matter to you either that he was married. DID IT? obviously NOT. Get over it and move on. Hes married you know it deal with it and DONT sleep with him again. Right? Instead you are gonna go through all that to get the guy in trouble for something you knew about as well. I think you are just a woman scorned thats all. If he calls you DONT TALK TO HIM. Dont answer your cell phone right he;ll get the hint. If you continue to talk to him your are just as much to blame as he is. Move on and dont waste anymore time on him than you already have. you probably arent the first, and probably wont be the last. His wife will find out one day but let her find out on her own she doesnt need some scorned woman telling her. Good luck to you.