Adultery consequences and who to contact?

[flamesofmoe]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I just found out that my Army recruiter ex-husband knocked up his mistress in January 2008. We didn't get divorced until September 2008 and he kept it hidden until now. We had no official separation agreement. He says that it wasn't adultery because we were separated. Which is funny, because that year he still claimed my son and myself on his tax return (and forged my signature and didn't give me my half of that or the stimulus check).

I have read that unless there's something else to go along with the adultery charges, it's usually not very severe punishment. So what can he look forward to? Considering he lied about having other kids, our taxes, and the adultery.

The Army command has been ridiculously unsupportive up here. In fact, after investigating his improper relations with DEPs they promoted him! Nothing about the adultery at all. I would leave this alone if he hadn't been harassing me, insulting me, and shoving his illegitimate child in my face. In fact, he says that I don't deserve so much money and he can't afford it with the new kid so we're going back to court. I know that holds no bearing in court (in fact, I will be getting more money for day care), but it still makes me mad!

So who do I contact about the adultery? I mean, can't ask for more proof than a baby.

[Silverplum]

Sure. Go ahead.

It's not SMART, but you do whatever you please.

When he loses his job and his pension and everything else YOU are being paid from, don't come crying -- you are the one who wants revenge. And when your revenge results in his having no money with which to pay you...well, then that's called, "Just Desserts."

Or you could move forward, like a grownup. It's up to you.

Originally Posted by flamesofmoe

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I just found out that my Army recruiter ex-husband knocked up his mistress in January 2008. We didn't get divorced until September 2008 and he kept it hidden until now. We had no official separation agreement. He says that it wasn't adultery because we were separated. Which is funny, because that year he still claimed my son and myself on his tax return (and forged my signature and didn't give me my half of that or the stimulus check).

I have read that unless there's something else to go along with the adultery charges, it's usually not very severe punishment. So what can he look forward to? Considering he lied about having other kids, our taxes, and the adultery.

The Army command has been ridiculously unsupportive up here. In fact, after investigating his improper relations with DEPs they promoted him! Nothing about the adultery at all. I would leave this alone if he hadn't been harassing me, insulting me, and shoving his illegitimate child in my face. In fact, he says that I don't deserve so much money and he can't afford it with the new kid so we're going back to court. I know that holds no bearing in court (in fact, I will be getting more money for day care), but it still makes me mad!

So who do I contact about the adultery? I mean, can't ask for more proof than a baby. If I keep getting the same results from the army I will just go straight to the media. I'm sure they'll love the story about the dishonorable recruiter, right?

[flamesofmoe]

Wow thank you for that useful reply. As I said, he won't leave me alone so It's a bit hard to get going when he won't let me. My harassment case isn't going to court until March. This ******* told the courts that I abuse my son and had him taken away.... I now have sole custody. That's just an example of what he pulls on a regular basis. I don't care about the financial aspect. I'm doing just fine, thank you.

So again, any answers to the question?

[mommyof4]

Do you really, honestly think that the 'media' is going to give two shakes about your ex-husband's affair that happened AFTER you seperated? Really? If so, you don't see much prime time programming, do you?

[flamesofmoe]

Considering that I got two offers from Dr. Phil? Yes. But that's not the point.

WHO DO I CONTACT WITHIN THE DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY REGARDING THE ADULTERY??? WHAT PUNISHMENTS SHOULD HE EXPECT????

[SHORTY LONG]

Originally Posted by flamesofmoe

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I just found out that my Army recruiter ex-husband knocked up his mistress in January 2008. We didn't get divorced until September 2008 and he kept it hidden until now. We had no official separation agreement. He says that it wasn't adultery because we were separated. Which is funny, because that year he still claimed my son and myself on his tax return (and forged my signature and didn't give me my half of that or the stimulus check).

I have read that unless there's something else to go along with the adultery charges, it's usually not very severe punishment. So what can he look forward to? Considering he lied about having other kids, our taxes, and the adultery.

The Army command has been ridiculously unsupportive up here. In fact, after investigating his improper relations with DEPs they promoted him! Nothing about the adultery at all. I would leave this alone if he hadn't been harassing me, insulting me, and shoving his illegitimate child in my face. In fact, he says that I don't deserve so much money and he can't afford it with the new kid so we're going back to court. I know that holds no bearing in court (in fact, I will be getting more money for day care), but it still makes me mad!

So who do I contact about the adultery? I mean, can't ask for more proof than a baby.

Contact Base Legal Services, and his present superior Officer where he is stationed at!

[flamesofmoe]

Thank you for your input. Unfortunately, his superior officers don't care. Not sure what base legal services means, but I'll look into it. If you mean "Hey, go get a lawyer" (lol) I have that happening and a meeting set up, but I'd just like to get ahead of the game, ya know?

[flamesofmoe]

Well I've been speaking with the battalion commander who has finally shown some interest and has now launched an investigation. I guess I'll just see where this goes?

[Ronin]

Whatever lip service the battalion commander is giving you, its pretty unlikely anything is really really going to happen to your ex in this man's Army. Since you are now the ex-wife, you will be perceived as the disgruntled ex seeking revenge, and who is trying to find a way for the Army to help her get even.

Years ago I had a college ROTC instructor who was a womanizer who often forgot he was married. He was transferred after scandals from extra-marital affairs getting too cozy with a female cadet and having an affair with a woman on campus, whom he divorced his wife over. Some folks thought his career was damaged. Found out years later his reassignment with his brand new wife was directly to the Army Command and General Staff College, where he was promoted to major and interestingly enough made colonel and gained some measure of public fame and recognition (the good kind) for his role in a highly publicized military incident.

[pabloj2]

I was a command investigator in the Navy for some years.
I don't know much about the Army but I do know about the UCMJ (uniform code of Military Justice).
Proving adultery is easy but many relationships throughout the military are built on infidelity...Unfortunately.
You'll definitely be see as a bitter EX and you wont get any satisfaction in throwing his career down the toilet.
The rule of adultery is a still on the books to appease those who still believe in the sanctity of marriage and conduct of a service member when he leaves his spouse behind.

I spent over 20 years in the service and have never seen anyone convicted of the charge. Sorry for the bad news.
p.s Get an MPO ..Military Protection Order...same as a Restraning Order...but issued by his Command...then if he screws up...you can hammer him

[cyberspook]

Originally Posted by pabloj2

I was a command investigator in the Navy for some years.
I don't know much about the Army but I do know about the UCMJ (uniform code of Military Justice).
Proving adultery is easy but many relationships throughout the military are built on infidelity...Unfortunately.
You'll definitely be see as a bitter EX and you wont get any satisfaction in throwing his career down the toilet.
The rule of adultery is a still on the books to appease those who still believe in the sanctity of marriage and conduct of a service member when he leaves his spouse behind.

I spent over 20 years in the service and have never seen anyone convicted of the charge. Sorry for the bad news.
p.s Get an MPO ..Military Protection Order...same as a Restraning Order...but issued by his Command...then if he screws up...you can hammer him

This is good advice from someone whom may be a great contributer to this site in the future.

Terrorizing his carreer is just going to promote a lower quality of life for you and your family. Get the Protection order.

Let it go...

[CGRAY]

Originally Posted by pabloj2

I spent over 20 years in the service and have never seen anyone convicted of the charge. Sorry for the bad news.

I spent only four years in the USMC and witnessed convictions on this matter twice. Both times were instances where members were legally seperated in the eyes of the civilian law, but divorces were not final. Unless something has changed since 93-97, the military, at least USMC, viewed the marriage as still being valid until divorce was legally finalized.

Both cases were handled at NJP level and if memory serves, punishment resulted in demotions from E3 to E2 with 30 days barracks restriction or something of that nature.