Adultery issues (and a threat)

[julioc]

What is the name of your state? ****land.

Ok, so here's my problem. I've known this girl for a little over 3 years. We used to date while we were both stationed in Korea. We broke up about the time I left. Eventually she ended up marrying someone and had twins by him. They are both in the military, as am I. They ended up coming to the same post as me, where she and I resumed our friendship. However, it was just that. Her marriage is a wreck, and I was just the shoulder to cry on.

However, our feelings for each other resumed. And she made the decision she was going to leave her husband, and that she and I were going to try it again. However, she decided to wait until after her tax returns came back as he had run up some bills under her name, and she didn't want to drag any more baggage into a relationship with me.

Then comes the problem...a little over a week ago, we slept together, and have off and on for the following week. Where the big problem comes in is that somehow he got an e-mail I had sent her where we discussed what kind of birth control options to use. No where in the e-mail does it say we had sex, but a reasonable person could imply it.

He has not decided whether to persue that route (turning it in)...but, if he does, what kind of proof would that be, and how much trouble could she and I get in.

On a side note: I just received a phone call from her that he threatened me, and that "he would not be the one to do it." Is there anything we can do on this?

[HomeGuru]

Originally Posted by julioc

What is the name of your state? ****land.

Ok, so here's my problem. I've known this girl for a little over 3 years. We used to date while we were both stationed in Korea. We broke up about the time I left. Eventually she ended up marrying someone and had twins by him. They are both in the military, as am I. They ended up coming to the same post as me, where she and I resumed our friendship. However, it was just that. Her marriage is a wreck, and I was just the shoulder to cry on.

However, our feelings for each other resumed. And she made the decision she was going to leave her husband, and that she and I were going to try it again. However, she decided to wait until after her tax returns came back as he had run up some bills under her name, and she didn't want to drag any more baggage into a relationship with me.

Then comes the problem...a little over a week ago, we slept together, and have off and on for the following week. Where the big problem comes in is that somehow he got an e-mail I had sent her where we discussed what kind of birth control options to use. No where in the e-mail does it say we had sex, but a reasonable person could imply it.

He has not decided whether to persue that route (turning it in)...but, if he does, what kind of proof would that be, and how much trouble could she and I get in.

On a side note: I just received a phone call from her that he threatened me, and that "he would not be the one to do it." Is there anything we can do on this?

**A: you're kidding right?

[julioc]

No...I'm dead serious.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by julioc

No...I'm dead serious.

THen you might start by kissing your miltary career goodbye.

Then, getting as far away from her as you can.

Then, start drinking a lot of coffee and smoking two packs a day so you don't let things 'pop up' when you unzip.

And THEN, pray he doesn't tell your command.

[fozzy2]

Well, you committed adultery. The main question is how your command would deal with the charges should they be informed. Enforcement of this regulation varies widely from command to command (as it does with fraternization, etc.). The e-mail is indeed evidence, and might be considered during any NJP. If there were a court martial, the e-mail *might* get excluded under the rules of evidence on any number of grounds (but don't count on it). Finally, you might say that although you had planned to have sex, you ultimately decided not to, "whimped out", whatever. Of course, that might be lying under oath (if you said it under oath).

If her marriage is going under, and her hubby is threatening you, then it may just be a matter of 'when' and not 'if' he turns you in. You may want to consider going pro-active and asking some of your seniors for advice (and in the process warn them of what might be coming). The fact that he is threatening you just hurts his credibility and makes him less sympathetic.

Bottom line, however: Dont' do the crime if you can't do the time.

[badapple40]

I do not believe that the e-mail would necessarily be good evidence under the military rules of evidence. Unless they could get the service provider to lay a foundation. And then you get into the whole Lawrence v. Texas and U.S. v. Marcum issues.

I would think that the command might not pursue this beyond the NJP level. Punishments are limited depending on the grade/rank of the poster and the grade/rank of the person imposing the NJP (company grade v. field grade). Hope this helps.