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  1. #1
    Mialani is offline Junior Member
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    another pregnancy question

    What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? CA

    hi. i have been in the navy for 2 years and i am 5 months into a very unexpected pregnancy. i took the right messures but i guess it wasn't enough. i am now in a very difficult situation. when i am deployed 4 months after my baby is born i will have no one to leave my daughter to. my only family is my mother, who currently is working 2 jobs to have enough money just to support herself. she cannot take on a baby. the father and i are in contanct but he is also millitary and we are not stationed anywhere near eachother, not to mention he will be deplyed on and off durrning the next 2 years. his family is uninterested in having anything to do with the child because she will be half white. i have no babysitter "on call" for the duties that this entails. i talked to my command about my situation and they bluntly told me that they are not discharging me. i did not do this for a discharge. i didn't even ask for that since i dont know what i would do if i was discharged. how does the millitary work as a single parent? what would happen if i was dischared?
  2. #2
    dixeedog is offline Junior Member
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    Discharge

    There is a process for requesting an administrative separation due to a family hardship or pregnancy. See SECNAVINST 1910.4B (c)(4)(b) and (c). Link to the manual in PDF format [URL=http://www.peltlaw.com/resources.htm]HERE[/URL]

    Good Luck
  3. #3
    fozzy2 is offline Member
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    If you want to be discharged from the navy due to pregnancy you will have to request it. Read Milpersman 1910-112. It is true that the navy does not automatically discharge pregnant sailors as a matter of policy, but if you clearly are going to have problems (and be a problem) then your request might be approved.

    If the Navy does not grant you a pregnancy discharge, then you may be be able to get a discharge for "parenthood" under Milpersman 1910-124. Basically, that is when you can't come up with an adequate 'family care plan' and thus become undeployable, etc. Here is a bit of a kicker, however. You mention the father is also in the military. Are you married? Is he the legal father? You see, under 1910-124 if you are a "dual servicemember" family, the NAVY will determine which of you gets discharged to stay at home with the kid/s. If you are in a critical rating and your hubby isn't, he may well become a dependant and you remain on active duty. [ I'm not certain how they handle spouses in different services, or if you are not married to the father ]. I don't know how often the Navy actually carries this policy out, it would be interesting to hear.

    Either way your character of service will be whatever your record merits (normally "honorable"), though you may have to repay portions of enlistment bonuses, etc. depending on how early you are released.
  4. #4
    Mialani is offline Junior Member
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    another Q

    thank you for your posts
    what about my G.I. Bill? do i get anything?
  5. #5
    DRTDEVL is offline Member
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    If you have been in less than 36 months, you do NOT get the GI Bill.

    You mother would actually be better off with your child... You will be required to send your BAH at a minimum home for support. Most likely, though, you will be able to afford $1,000 or more per month for your child when you are deployed. I doubt your mother's second job pulls in that amount after taxes... The father will be required to send child support as well. This will be the BAH Diff rate at the bare minimum, so you can add another $300-500 onto that amount.

    Yes, it may be scary, but you have all the resources you need to fulfill your obligations as a parent.
  6. #6
    fozzy2 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mialani
    thank you for your posts
    what about my G.I. Bill? do i get anything?
    Depends on the details of your discharge. If you get an actual "hardship" discharge, you will get one month of GI bill benefits for every month you have served- this involved "parenthood" discharges.

    If you are discharged "for the convenience of the government" you will get benefits if you have served at least 30 months (of an enlistment 3 years or more)- this includes "pregnancy" discharges.

    If it is a 'non-convience' discharge, honorable, etc. regular discharge then you must have served 36 months of an enlistment of 3 years or more.

    (PL 106-419), I also looked up:

    [url]http://pao.hood.army.mil/corpssja/MGI%20Bill.htm[/url]
  7. #7
    kam25 is offline Junior Member
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    Who's telling you they won't discharge you?

    As a dual military mom, I can tell you this, the regulation states that you should be discharged for pregnancy if you desire. If you want to get out, fill out the paperwork and make your C/O sign it saying he doesn't want to let you out, then bring it to your Congressman. Single mom in military is a tough job. If you can't get a family care plan thats workable together I would get out. It's an honorable discharge but you won't be able to re-enlist without a waiver should you decide to do that at a later time. That being said, I'm an AF recruiter and I've seen it happen. What's your MOS, can it transfer to the GS circuit? GS jobs give veterans preference, all the benefits with out the deployments. Also, if you have a security clearance that can be worth a lot of money on the outside. Good luck, but if someone is telling you they won't let you out then put in the paperwork and make them say that in writing!
  8. #8
    fozzy2 is offline Member
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    It is not always true that a pregnant service member must be discharged upon request. Specifically, Navy MilPersMan 1910-112 states that they "may request seperation" but then goes on to say "Requests will normally be denied unless it is determined to be in the best interest of the navy or if the member demonstrates overriding and compelling factors of personal need which warrant seperation." It then goes on to provide a list of people for whom separation will not be approved regardless -- such as people in critically undermanned ratings, people who PCS while pregnant, etc. etc.

    The military is leaving behind the idea that pregnancy is an "automatic out." Of course, if a service member has a child and can't/won't do a family care plan, that is another issue. Threatening to not have one will not guarantee a pregnancy discharge.
  9. #9
    kam25 is offline Junior Member
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    Wow, didn't know that. I'm AF and our reg says you should be let out if that's what the member wants. I still think the congressman is an option, no one likes to see a pregnant woman treated badly. Go through your chain of command first ofcourse and explain your situation with the family care plan. If you really don't want to get out of the Navy maybe someone can help you with that. Either way, good luck!
  10. #10
    Mialani is offline Junior Member
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    well i've talked to my mom about taking my baby and she said that she would only take her for up to a month. i will be deployed for 6 months at a time or more plus 1 month intervals between. the navy has a strict policy about being discharged. more so than the airforce and army (i've looked into it). i've asked a few people in my command about it but it didn't help me much. the main responce i got was people looking down on me to tell me that i'm just another female trying to get out of work. i came in to have something for myself because i didn't have much but now i'm not sure if i want in or out. i thought that they would help me, not look down on me. either way i dont want to have nothing for my child. i have to provide a family care plan and if i can't i dont want to walk away from the military with a baby in hand and no way to provide for her.

    thank you all for responding
  11. #11
    kam25 is offline Junior Member
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    Decisions

    It looks like you have some decisions to make. I know, believe me I know, that it's really hard when you're pregnant but it's going to be harder when you have the baby. You need to decide one way or another what you want to do. If you want to get out there are ways you can try to work that, if you want to stay in then you need to find an advocate who can help you with the family care plan. If you want to talk feel free to email me. I hope you are able to come to a decision soon. Good luck!
  12. #12
    annette_wilson1 is offline Junior Member
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    Thumbs up 20 year military vet

    Listen, everyone has given you great advice, but listen to this... POST PARDOM Depression!!! Read up on it THROUGHLY..... The military cannot seperate a mother from her child for 18 months in the event post pardom depression is diagnosed or SUSPECTED!!! So after you have your baby, and should any of those feeling you read about POP up out of the blue, call your mental health provider for a consult, and they will code you FPS making you ineligible for orders or PCS for up to 18 months!! Good luck, hope this helps

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