banging my head...

[justme1975]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ny

I'm sure there are many others that have gone through this. My husband went AWOL. It was a personal decision and we both know the ramifications that it will have. It was not an uninformed decision. Whether it was a bad decision or not that is on us. Anyhow, long story short. He got picked up on his warrant and sent to Ft. Knox. He went through the processing and everything is done. However, he was informed Thursday that his DFR papers are missing or not completed. I called his OCONUS unit and they said the paperwork is in the hands of the MPD and that there are other legal ramifications that can't be discussed with me. What does that mean and how much longer will my husband be sitting in FT. Knox? I realize that this is going to get generalized advise but thanks to anyone that can help.

justme1975

 

[justalayman]

I called his OCONUS unit and they said the paperwork is in the hands of the MPD and that there are other legal ramifications that can't be discussed with me. What does that mean and how much longer will my husband be sitting in FT. Knox?

the crystal ball was retired long ago and that is what is needed to give you a response. Anything less would amount to nothing more than speculation with absolutely nothing to support it.

 

[justme1975]

the crystal ball was retired long ago and that is what is needed to give you a response. Anything less would amount to nothing more than speculation with absolutely nothing to support it.

Thank you. I realized that. Was just wondering if anyone else had run into this issue. It's not that we aren't trying to take responsibility for our actions. I was just wondering when he might be released so he can attempt to salvage his job. Thank you anyway!

 

[Zigner]

Thank you. I realized that. Was just wondering if anyone else had run into this issue. It's not that we aren't trying to take responsibility for our actions. I was just wondering when he might be released so he can attempt to salvage his job. Thank you anyway!

We?

 

[justme1975]

We?

By we I mean the both of us. I am just as responsible as he is. That's how I feel about it at any rate.

 

[Zigner]

By we I mean the both of us. I am just as responsible as he is. That's how I feel about it at any rate.

You didn't go AWOL (did you?)

 

[justalayman]

I suspect OP was involved with the decisions made. While the husband is the one facing the official and legal penalties, she is definitely going to be affected by the decisions made as well. I think it is good to see and honorable for her to consider them a "we" in a situation like this. After all, doesn't the bible say that when two people marry they become one?
On top of that, in the military, there is a "we" attitude towards married enlistees since everything the soldier does affects the spouse. They still have rules against marital infidelity. If that is not the military having a "we" attitude, I don't know what is.


with that said, zigner's point is based on that in the legal sense, there is no we. He will face, he will receive penalty or punishment. It is all too common for people to come here and speak of "we" and what "we" are going to do and such when there is absolutely no way "we" are going to do anything.

 

[justme1975]

I suspect OP was involved with the decisions made. While the husband is the one facing the official and legal penalties, she is definitely going to be affected by the decisions made as well. I think it is good to see and honorable for her to consider them a "we" in a situation like this. After all, doesn't the bible say that when two people marry they become one?
On top of that, in the military, there is a "we" attitude towards married enlistees since everything the soldier does affects the spouse. They still have rules against marital infidelity. If that is not the military having a "we" attitude, I don't know what is.


with that said, zigner's point is based on that in the legal sense, there is no we. He will face, he will receive penalty or punishment. It is all too common for people to come here and speak of "we" and what "we" are going to do and such when there is absolutely no way "we" are going to do anything.

Yes, the we I speak of is both of us since I supported his decision. There are deep personal issues behind the decision and I still support it. Although he may face the legal ramifications by himself as far as the military and his career, we face the civilian ramifications, together. A lot of people say that there aren't ramifications past this but there are. Many many ramifications. That is also what has been taken into consideration.

 

[justalayman]

A lot of people say that there aren't ramifications past this but there are.

what uninformed loon said that?

There are lifetime ramifications due to his actions. I surely hope it is worth it because some of the issues can have a serious affect on his life. Not trying to belittle him with that comment but being realistic and serious. Going AWOL and being discharged for that is a life altering decision. I hope it was a choice made with as much introspection, and investigation one can do prior to making such a decision.

 

[justme1975]

what uninformed loon said that?

There are lifetime ramifications due to his actions. I surely hope it is worth it because some of the issues can have a serious affect on his life. Not trying to belittle him with that comment but being realistic and serious. Going AWOL and being discharged for that is a life altering decision. I hope it was a choice made with as much introspection, and investigation one can do prior to making such a decision.

He realizes he may never do anything again short of flipping burgers. But there can be pride had in that as well.

 

[justalayman]

He realizes he may never do anything again short of flipping burgers. But there can be pride had in that as well.

Hell ya. I admire the stereotypical yet based in reality old black janitor character. I knew a few real ones in my time. Most of them were damn proud of not necessarily what they did but the effort they put into it and the results achieved. It isn't what you do but what you bring to it. Does one get all proud of saying they mop floors and clean toilets? Not usually but they can be proud of how they do it and the commitment to their work.

as to what he might be limited to in the future:

This time more so than any other time of my life, one can escape their "issues" due to the proliferation of independent contractor type situations with people designing internet based projects. If one is savvy in such endeavors, they can remain a veritable unknown yet become quite successful financially. Hell, there are probably inmates in prison doing internet work and making a good buck from it with nobody the wiser.

 

[justme1975]

Hell ya. I admire the stereotypical yet based in reality old black janitor character. I knew a few real ones in my time. Most of them were damn proud of not necessarily what they did but the effort they put into it and the results achieved. It isn't what you do but what you bring to it. Does one get all proud of saying they mop floors and clean toilets? Not usually but they can be proud of how they do it and the commitment to their work.

as to what he might be limited to in the future:

This time more so than any other time of my life, one can escape their "issues" due to the proliferation of independent contractor type situations with people designing internet based projects. If one is savvy in such endeavors, they can remain a veritable unknown yet become quite successful financially. Hell, there are probably inmates in prison doing internet work and making a good buck from it with nobody the wiser.

My husband already had a job and was doing well. Unfortunately, he just called and said they are sending him back to his oconus unit. I understand they have every right to do that. but I guess I was under the misguided assumption they rarely do that. We have no money. I can't afford to buy food and because we're still married and in the eventuality he may get paid by the military again, I can't get aid. Under what circumstances would they send someone back? What are we looking at for time apart? Is there anything I can do to help him? Why would the SGM tell people if they don't want to be in the Army then to leave? Then they pull you back in. I'm so stressed I don't even think I'm making sense. Little help here would be appreciated.

 

[Silverplum]

My husband already had a job and was doing well. Unfortunately, he just called and said they are sending him back to his oconus unit. I understand they have every right to do that. but I guess I was under the misguided assumption they rarely do that. We have no money. I can't afford to buy food and because we're still married and in the eventuality he may get paid by the military again, I can't get aid. Under what circumstances would they send someone back? What are we looking at for time apart? Is there anything I can do to help him? Why would the SGM tell people if they don't want to be in the Army then to leave? Then they pull you back in. I'm so stressed I don't even think I'm making sense. Little help here would be appreciated.

You wrote that you want to take responsibility for your actions and accepted the consequences.

 

[justalayman]

I would think you are incorrect about not being eligible for some sort of state aid because he might get paid by the military. Either he is eligible to be paid or he isn't. If not, then it isn't a concern. If he is but is not being paid, then you still have the factual situation that there is no money coming into the household. If you would otherwise be eligible for aid, apply for it. The worst they will do is turn you down.



as to what they are doing; I don't have a real clue. I'm non-military so it is quite foreign to me but, as I understand it, they do not have to release him from his contract. I believe he could also be prosecuted for the action as well. Whether either of those are a possibility for your husband, I have no idea.

sounds like you need to be looking for a job and /r charitable organizations that may be able to help you out.

 

[justme1975]

I would think you are incorrect about not being eligible for some sort of state aid because he might get paid by the military. Either he is eligible to be paid or he isn't. If not, then it isn't a concern. If he is but is not being paid, then you still have the factual situation that there is no money coming into the household. If you would otherwise be eligible for aid, apply for it. The worst they will do is turn you down.



as to what they are doing; I don't have a real clue. I'm non-military so it is quite foreign to me but, as I understand it, they do not have to release him from his contract. I believe he could also be prosecuted for the action as well. Whether either of those are a possibility for your husband, I have no idea.

sounds like you need to be looking for a job and /r charitable organizations that may be able to help you out.

I do have a job. It's the only job I could get at the moment and it's pt temp. I'm still looking for something else either in addition to this or after the temp position ends. I just wish he could come home already. I'm not trying to sound like a cry baby however, it's very difficult being separated like we are now. The uncertainty of what will happen is what's bothering me the most. If they were to retain him, would they allow me to go back to Alaska to be with him?