hurtnuncertian
Junior Member
I'm not sure how this works. I am so confused on how to approach the situation and time is running out.
I have been married to my husband for 3.5 years now. The first 6 months of our marriage he cheated on me with multiple people, to which i have proof of him admitting to acts of infidelity via messages between him and her. It was while he was on deployment. When i found out about the affair I also found out i was pregnant. We decided to work it out or try to. Life with him has always been two sided. Most of the time his career life is a secret and i know nothing about. Which i understand, I am not supposed to know about what he does, but keeping me a secret from his friends is another issue. He also talks down to me with degrading name calling and upon going to counseling sessions i realized that it is really verbal abuse with some of the things he says. I have been doing my best to wait out this "immature" stage (if that is even the problem). I have working to better myself. I got a good job, and I am finishing up my degree.
He is on deployment again, and before he left we attended marriage counseling and created boundaries, he had 3 main ones, no women in his room, no getting drunk to the point of oblivion, and to talk to me at least once a day for 5-10 minutes, (which considering he is staying in a hotel he agreed to it being reasonable). All three have been broken. I have found a place for my child and I, and he quit sending money. I am completely self reliant and yet still hurt beyond repair.
After speaking with the ombudsman I realize that involving his command will not guarantee anything. I also realize that if i do involve the command it will be nothing but pure vengeance. I know that we have a daughter together, and I should just let it go and do what I am already put into motion with leaving. But it's so hard to leave with my head up, when i am constantly dragged down by him. I want to be free from him, I was hoping involving the command would do so, I feel so stuck and like a horrible person for even considering this possibility. Is there any advice that anyone can give that could possibly help in anyway?
I have been married to my husband for 3.5 years now. The first 6 months of our marriage he cheated on me with multiple people, to which i have proof of him admitting to acts of infidelity via messages between him and her. It was while he was on deployment. When i found out about the affair I also found out i was pregnant. We decided to work it out or try to. Life with him has always been two sided. Most of the time his career life is a secret and i know nothing about. Which i understand, I am not supposed to know about what he does, but keeping me a secret from his friends is another issue. He also talks down to me with degrading name calling and upon going to counseling sessions i realized that it is really verbal abuse with some of the things he says. I have been doing my best to wait out this "immature" stage (if that is even the problem). I have working to better myself. I got a good job, and I am finishing up my degree.
He is on deployment again, and before he left we attended marriage counseling and created boundaries, he had 3 main ones, no women in his room, no getting drunk to the point of oblivion, and to talk to me at least once a day for 5-10 minutes, (which considering he is staying in a hotel he agreed to it being reasonable). All three have been broken. I have found a place for my child and I, and he quit sending money. I am completely self reliant and yet still hurt beyond repair.
After speaking with the ombudsman I realize that involving his command will not guarantee anything. I also realize that if i do involve the command it will be nothing but pure vengeance. I know that we have a daughter together, and I should just let it go and do what I am already put into motion with leaving. But it's so hard to leave with my head up, when i am constantly dragged down by him. I want to be free from him, I was hoping involving the command would do so, I feel so stuck and like a horrible person for even considering this possibility. Is there any advice that anyone can give that could possibly help in anyway?