+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Subhill is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4

    Consequences of adultery

    What is the name of your state? NC

    I'll try to keep it short. Both me and my "wife" are Marines, we've been married for about 3 1/2 years... about 5 months ago she left the house, claiming that she needed her "space" or whatever. The point is that a month after leaving the house she left for some training in Arizona, while there she got pregnant by another Marine, who's in her unit of course. Me and her are still legally married. She told everyone in her command that its mine, and as of right now she's going to work everyday like nothing ever happened. I understand that adultery is very common in the military which makes it hard to prove, but in my case she's walking around with the proof. i just want to know what the consequences will be if I decide to come forward. Although i wouldn't want to hurt her military career, she needs to know that there are consequences for her actions. Also i can't just let this guy get a free pass can I? Whatever happens i know that it'll be worse for her, that's probably the reason why I haven't said anything... She's also planning on reenlisting, how would this affect her chances?
    Last edited by Subhill; 01-06-2009 at 07:37 PM.
  2. #2
    CGRAY is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    126
    i just want to know what the consequences will be if I decide to come forward.
    Legally, nothing. You are the victim. As former USMC, I would not frown upon anyone taking action. I saw similar situation occur to someone whose wm wife got knocked up while he was in Japan. He pursued option 1 below and personally I, along with everyone else thought he was a sap. But thats up to you to decide.

    Also i can't just let this guy get a free pass can I? Your call here, no one elses. Obvious courses of action:
    1. Play the idiot and pretend nothing ever happened.
    2. Thug him out.
    3. Paternity test and if he is determined to be the father, drop her like a rock and let him get stuck with dealing with an adulterous woman and child support. (Best option IMHO)

    She's also planning on reenlisting, how would this affect her chances? Unless she is in a critical MOS, may have serious adverse effects. Up to command to approve re-enlistment.

    BTW, don't feel too bad. Down here in Yuma, it is very commonplace to bang wm's while they're here for WTI. Nickels worth of free advice: You can't turn a ho into a housewife.
    Last edited by CGRAY; 01-08-2009 at 11:22 PM.
  3. #3
    Subhill is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4
    Thanks for the input CGRAY, although i meant what the consequences would be for HER...
    and trust me, Im definitely staying away from option 1.
  4. #4
    CGRAY is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    126
    Quote Originally Posted by Subhill View Post
    Thanks for the input CGRAY, although i meant what the consequences would be for HER...
    and trust me, Im definitely staying away from option 1.
    Maximum consequences - Dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for 1 year.

    I witnessed two seperate incidents of adultery in the USMC which were prosecuted. Both cases went to NJP and resulting punishment was reduction from E-3 to E-2 and x many days of barracks restriction. Both cases were situations where members were seperated, but not legally divorced yet. In my eyes, their actions were far less severe since there at least was a seperation before the "adultery" took place.

    I would also suggest speaking with an attorney or at least posting your situation involving paternity on another board within this forum. I would not want my name on that birth certificate unless I was sure that I was the father. You can easily be stuck with support even though you are not the father in many cases. Bottom-line, cover your ass. Free legal services should be available at your station and is a benefit allotted to service members.
  5. #5
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    8,560
    You will be considered to be the father of the child because it was conceived and/or born during the marriage UNLESS you prove otherwise in a court of law.

    Further, depending on her security level, adultery can result in the loss of clearance, as well.
  6. #6
    THarr is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    2

    Consequences of adultery

    Well,
    Most military law practices are the same (I am Army). If you are trying not to hurt her military career but you want her to take resposibility for her actions more than likely it can be done if you were to go to her chain of command and discuss it with them. Likely, she may deny it, but she has to give birth at some point. You can give them your opinion on what you think should be done (punishment). All in all, it will very hard not to affect her military career by coming forward. I know that you want something to happen to the male that got her knocked up (and I am fairly sure that you don't care what happens to him). But you can't dramatically affect his career without dramatically affecting hers.
    Her re-enlisting would be determined by what the command decides to do to her. She can be barred from re-enlisting, given an administrative reprimand (which has no effect on re-enlistment), given a GMOR (General Letter of Reprimand) depending on where it is filed in her MPR (Miiltary Performance Record), or given an Article 15 will effect her re-enlistment or her chances for being promoted again, given an Article 15, or given a Court-Martial. Every commander, like you and me, has a "pet pev". They may consider adultery to be something very serious or something not serious at all. I think that you should talk to her and let her know how you feel about the whole thing. Stress to her that she needs to be honest because the rest of her career is riding on how you react to this. If you choose to divorce, do so. But the decisions that you make concerning this matter will forever affect you and her.
  7. #7
    xylene is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    St. Richard's
    Posts
    8,750
    Quote Originally Posted by THarr View Post
    she has to give birth at some point.
    No. No she does not "have to".
  8. #8
    Subhill is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4
    I really appreciate all the replies. To go into a little more detail, a few weeks after she moved out she brought separation papers and we both signed them...the thing is that it was never notarized or even filed at the legal office. To this day the papers are in a closet somewhere... because of that she seems to think she has some leverage, but she has nothing right? I mean just because you fill out a job application doesn't mean you got the job...you need to hand it in. So we are legally married, will she have any kind of argument with her half-assed separation?
  9. #9
    publius is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    53
    Quote Originally Posted by Subhill View Post
    I really appreciate all the replies. To go into a little more detail, a few weeks after she moved out she brought separation papers and we both signed them...the thing is that it was never notarized or even filed at the legal office. To this day the papers are in a closet somewhere... because of that she seems to think she has some leverage, but she has nothing right? I mean just because you fill out a job application doesn't mean you got the job...you need to hand it in. So we are legally married, will she have any kind of argument with her half-assed separation?
    I don't think a separation agreement has to be notarized or filed anywhere in NC, but you could ask that question in the family law forums. Anyways, being legally separated does not necessarily mean that the adultery is not a UCMJ offense, but it does make it less likely (and less likely that a commander would take any action against the adulterers).
  10. #10
    Subhill is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4
    "Once you and your spouse sign and have the Agreement notarized, it is binding." (from [url=http://www.carolinafamilylaw.com/separation_agreements.html]NC Separation Agreements: Haas McNeil, Raleigh NC[/url]). Anyway I remember that we both needed to go to our own notary public and sign the document in their presence. We never got around to it, and then the whole deal went down... Is there a chance that her command might choose to do nothing?
  11. #11
    publius is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    53
    Quote Originally Posted by Subhill View Post
    "Once you and your spouse sign and have the Agreement notarized, it is binding." (from [url=http://www.carolinafamilylaw.com/separation_agreements.html]NC Separation Agreements: Haas McNeil, Raleigh NC[/url]). Anyway I remember that we both needed to go to our own notary public and sign the document in their presence. We never got around to it, and then the whole deal went down... Is there a chance that her command might choose to do nothing?
    Looks like you're right about NC separation agreements. There is a chance that her command might choose to do nothing. It's completely up to the commander whether to take action. And if it goes to a court-martial, the judge and members of the court must agree that prosecution is appropriate.

    Adultery is an Article 134 offense under the UCMJ. That means that one element (actually, the core element) of the offense is that "under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces." The MCM (Manual for Courts-Martial) lists specific factors to consider in determining whether a particular act of adultery is service-discrediting or prejudicial to good order and discipline. Those include (but are not limited to):

    (a) The accused's marital status, military rank, grade, or position;

    (b) The co-actor's marital status, military rank, grade, and position, or relationship to the armed forces;

    (c) The military status of the accused's spouse or the spouse of co-actor, or their relationship to the armed forces;

    (d) The impact, if any, of the adulterous relationship on the ability of the accused, the co-actor, or the spouse of either to perform their duties in support of the armed forces;

    (e) The misuse, if any, of government time and resources to facilitate the commission of the conduct;

    (f) Whether the conduct persisted despite counseling or orders to desist; the flagrancy of the conduct, such as whether any notoriety ensued; and whether the adulterous act was accompanied by other violations of the UCMJ;

    (g) The negative impact of the conduct on the units or organizations of the accused, the co-actor or the spouse of either of them, such as a detrimental effect on unit or organization morale, teamwork, and efficiency;

    (h) Whether the accused or co-actor was legally separated; and

    (i) Whether the adulterous misconduct involves an ongoing or recent relationship or is remote in time.

    None of these factors is controlling, and (h) does say legally separated, but it's certainly possible that a commander could decide that, under the circumstances, the adultery is not prejudicial to good order and discipline if the parties to the marriage intended to separate. As others have pointed out, some commanders think adultery is a big deal, others just don't.

Similar Threads

  1. Adultery consequences and who to contact?
    By flamesofmoe in forum Military Law
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-05-2009, 02:06 PM
  2. What are the consequences?
    By stargazer33189 in forum Sentencing / Parole / Pardons / Plea Bargains
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-30-2007, 10:29 PM
  3. Consequences....
    By A_Loving_Father in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 09-22-2005, 02:42 PM
  4. Consequences
    By nighthawk75 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-20-2004, 09:46 AM
  5. what are the consequences?
    By micheloni in forum Landlord / Tenant Issues
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-17-2003, 07:33 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.